How To Become A Girl
by Leonara821
Summary: Tomboyish Bella is bestfriends with Jasper and Emmett. They'll be attending college together at Dartmouth. What surprises do they have in stores now, especially Bella, who's never had any experience before? All Human!
1. Chapter 1

How To Become A Girl

Chapter One

I was preparing for my flight tomorrow morning. My highschool life just ended a couple of months ago and I couldn't be more glad. Not that it was a bad experience or anything. Actually I could thank my two bestfriends Jasper and Emmett for making it worthwhile.

_Nope. No dating. Just friends. I don't think I'm their type anyway. And besides they're like brothers to me, you know._

This was my last official summer with my dad. I felt sad in a way. My dad and I are pretty close. My mother died when she gave birth to me. While I grew up I was a little scared that one day he might flip and blame my mother's death on me. But never did he do that and I was happy. We even got closer than ever when he told me their story. I love him very much that it hurts to leave.

I packed my baggy jeans and clothes. Oh, right. Yep. I'm, whatyacall, a tomboy. Well that's what _they_ call me. I mean I grew up without a constant single girly figure in my life. It was a good thing that my aunt checked up on me every once in a while. You know, to see if I was wearing a bra and a panty by now because my dad wasn't really good at that part. But when I say once in a while, I mean once in every seven to nine years. How did I get around my first period? Not as easy as you think. I had to run to the school nurse. I mean that was really embarrassing. If Jazz and Em had spoken about it that day I would've killed them the next. But really, I thank the nurse. She reminded me of pills the day I got it.

Girls didn't quite like me as a friend because they said I was too aggressive, too tough. I wasn't in for all the girly stuff. I mean that make-up thing, I tried it once and I ended up removing it all together. First of all, I didn't know how to put it on and second, it feels like my face becomes thick when I put those stuff on. Oh and the girls that my two bestfriends dated would always end up in a fight with me. I discovered then that I had a good punch.

I'm not a lesbian. I like guys, too, like Tom Sturridge is a cute one. Robert Pattinson certainly got the good looks. I think I have it with the British boys but I never really told anybody that I admire Tom and Rob because they will never stop teasing me about that.

A knock came on the door and my dad came in.

He sighed as he plopped down next to me.

"It's going to be okay, dad." I told him as I gave him a hug.

"No. It's not, buddy. You're going to be across the country by tomorrow!"

"I'll visit as often as I can. Christmas, Thanksgiving and holidays like that. I'll even bring the guys over. We can play football." I smiled at him.

His eyes glinted with hope. "Okay. But where are they? Aren't they going to pick you up or something?" He asked.

"Nope. Jasper and Emmett left a couple of days back. They're fixing the house that Jasper's parents gave him. We're kind of going to live there, dad." I told him.

"Are you going to have to pay for rent because if you are I don't think..." He trailed off.

"Don't worry about it, dad. I've got it. Jasper won't let me pay anyways." I've been saving all my money for college. Dartmouth was a difficult choice, budget wise, but really I had no other choice.

I placed my luggage off the bed and onto the floor.

"I'll really miss my little boy...Uh, I mean, girl, you know."

I laughed. "I know, I know. I'll miss you too, dad."

He kissed me on the cheek and headed off to bed. He flicked off my lights as I climbed under the sheets.

"Goodnight, Bells." He muttered.

"Goodnight, dad."

This college thing will be a new, fresh start. It should be. Maybe I could get more friends this time. And you know...a boyfriend, maybe. I don't know. I felt sorry for myself sometimes that no guy could ever look at me like that. I mean I've watched Jasper and Emmett double date and sometimes I wish that I could be the girls that they take out. I want to know how it feels to be in loved and to be loved that way.

I was able to sigh one last time before I fell asleep.

My phone buzzed on my bedside table and I groaned.

I sat up quickly and a knock was sounding through the door.

"Come in, dad." I said.

He sighed. "I thought you hadn't woken up yet."

I checked the clock and stood with surprise that my scheduled boarding and stuff will be in less than 3 hours and the drive is about an hour to an hour and a half, depending on the traffic.

"I have to get ready." I told him.

"I'll be waiting downstairs. I've packed you some pancakes. Maybe you'll want to eat on the road to Seattle instead." He told me.

"Okay. Thanks, dad." I got my necessity kit and ran to the bathroom.

I took a quick bath and dressed up in a black cargo pants, a loose shirt and a hoodie that pretty much covered me up. I put on my Chuck Taylors and the baseball cap that my father gave me when I was 12.

I looked for my small luggage and I didn't find it. I think Charlie took it with him downstairs already, so I rushed down and told him, "Ready to go!"

He pulled me in for a quick hug and we got in my truck. I was leaving it here and Charlie didn't want to drive his cruiser just to bring me to the airport.

I ate my pancakes during the quiet drive and I thought I heard Charlie sob when we neared the airport.

"Dad...don't, please. This isn't goodbye. I told you I'll come back. And I'll call you very often, I promise." I gave him one long hug.

He got out of the car and pulled my luggage out of the back of the pick up.

"Thanks, dad." I told him.

He kissed me on the forehead, "Be careful, Bells. I love you."

I smiled, "You be careful, dad. I love you too. I'll see you soon."

I heard him mutter, "Always am." as I went away

* * * * *

I landed on time in Boston where Em and Jazz would pick me up.

"BELLA!" I heard Emmett's booming voice call over to me.

I ran to where he is and Jasper.

Emmett lifted me up for a hug and Jasper gave me a quick hug.

"Nice to see you, Bells." He said.

"_Great_ to see you, guys!" I told them.

We headed for the car. Correction. _Limousine. Where in the world...?_

"_Whoa_. Really, Jazz? I've been your bestfriend since the start of highschool and I never knew you were this rich!" I mocked punch him in the gut.

"Me neither, Isobello. But you'll get the ups of it." Emmett told me and smugged.

"Where's your stuff, Bells?" Jasper asked.

"Here." I pushed my little luggage to him.

"This is it?" He asked, shocked.

"Erm...yeah. Is there something wrong, Richie Rich?"

"No. But dang! A guy has more clothes than you." He said as he gave the driver my luggage and he pushed me inside the vehicle. He pulled out three champagne glasses and poured some in them. He gave me one and then Emmett.

"To Bella's arrival!" He raised his glass and we toasted.

I looked at the golden liquid and gulped.

"Come on, Isobello. I thought you were tougher than that. You're eighteen already, you're dad won't cuff you up." Emmett teased.

I downed the champagne and realized it wasn't that bad. I guess it's fine then. "You know he would lock you up if he hears you're taunting his daughter." I raised an eyebrow at him and he backed down.

Jasper laughed and we soon joined in. He refilled our glasses and we chatted about our past experiences during highschool. Some were funny, some were not and they hushed about their ex-es because I didn't like any of them. I mean seriously? Jessica Stanley, Lauren Mallory, Leah Clearwater and Kate Spalding? The whores of Forks High?

I faded off my laugh as Emmett rolled his windows down.

I rolled mine, too, and...NO WAY!

A big black gate was opened to a mansion. Was this Jasper's parent's house? I've never met them, though. Jasper's been living with his grandparents in Forks and they were adorable. I was somewhat scared about his parents, though. I looked around and I noticed that on the brick walls that surrounded the lot, on one side had a JW on it. Jasper Whitlock. Wow. He really never told me anything.

"I really hate you right now." I told Jasper while I pulled my luggage into the mansion that they were walking into.

"Why?" He asked me and Emmett boomed a laugh.

"Because I just realized now that the Jasper I know is not the Jasper I really know, get it?"

"No. Sorry, Bella. I won't be keeping any secrets from you now, I promise." He ruffled my hair as he went around the large living room.

_Holy Sh-cow!_

The house is huge. That's all I can say.

"Come. Let me show you to your room." He carried my luggage as we headed up the stairs.

There was a large open space in the middle where there living room set up but with a huge Plasma TV instead of a grand piano.

"Your room is at the end of this hall." He turned left. Emmett's is the one across the hall from yours. Mine is near the stairs. So if you need anything, just call us. And settle down, okay. I've asked Dorota to put towels and all the other stuff there. She's the head maid around here. Oh and she chose your bed so if there's anything wrong, tell me so we could ask for a replace." He patted my back. "I'll see you downstairs, buddy."

I walked down the hallway and into the room. As usual, it was huge two. It was like 5 times my bedroom in Forks and the bathroom was as big as my room. So was the walk-in closet. It was empty. Was he expecting that I'll be able to fill that up or something? Oh and the bed looks amazing and cozy. Perhaps, the only thing that would remind me of home was it's purple bed sheets.

Anyway, I folded my clothes again and arranged them in the walk-in closet. Didn't even fill up one-fourth of the room. I took a bath and changed into something more clean. A pair of jeans and a shirt. And then I headed down.

"Bella, we need to go check out Dartmouth today. Classes start in a couple of days." Emmett told me.

"Alrighty." I said as Jasper led us into his stretched vehicle again.

We went to the office and we talked with The Dean. He obviously like Jasper. I just don't know about Emmett and me.

"Isabella Swan?" He extended his hand.

"Yes." I shook it and smiled.

"Well, I read your application, young lady. And you've got something there. That was why I made sure that you three get in. Yes. Emmett, yours was impressive, too."

Emmett shook his hand thankfully and the The Dean laughed at his excitement.

"I guess that's it for us, today. I'll see you soon in a couple of days, Bella, Jasper and Emmett." He said.

And with that, we left his office but we didn't leave the school just yet. We toured it by ourselves. There were also some people who were walking around the campus.

We had dinner at some fancy restaurant. Emmett and I fought with Jasper that we should have dinner in his house instead but he wanted to try out the city life so we decided to just go with him.

A small girl in a short skirt and a white polo came over to take our orders.

"Hello!" She smiled. "I'm Alice. I will be your waitress for tonight."

Emmett and I tried to hide the laughter. If you've just seen Jasper's face. Priceless. He looked at Alice with admiration as we told her our orders.

She cleared her throat. "Excuse me, sir, is there anything else you want?" She asked Jasper.

"Erm...I'll have a steak, please." Jasper told her.

She winked at him and then turned around.

And that was when Emmett and I let it out. "Duuuude! You just so had it there." I told him as we laughed.

"Shut up, Bells." He told me but then he ended laughing as well.

The girl came back with our orders and Jasper was all I'm-in-heaven look.

I think I'm liking my new life!


	2. Chapter 2

**How To Become A Girl**

**Chapter Two**

So, classes started about a couple of days ago. It's been fun, thank God! I mean all the school stuff, I can put through. Plus, it's only been two days. I can wait up to until two months before I really complain. Jasper and Emmett has been keeping me company. Thanks also to Jasper's mansion, I can swim, run, walk and whatever else around here. Emmett pulls me in the pool every morning at 5 am. Jasper's been helping me out hone my guitar skills. Emmett takes me running during the afternoon. And the three of us plays football or video games just right before dusk. My father, on the other hand, calls me every night just to check up how I've been. I mean it's been only four days but it seemed like it's been forever. I really do miss him.

Jasper has also been looking for...what was her name again? Oh. Right. Alice, was it? I thought so. Yeah. He's been looking for her. He went back to the restaurant the next day but apparently, it was already Alice's last day the night we were there. He was a little sad at first...but he distracted himself and he's back to normal. And, also, we didn't expect Jasper to be so famous around here. He's, like, elite, I think. And Emmett's taking advantage of that.

And so here we are again, stuck in his big mansion with almost nothing to do. Emmett and I were playing scrabble while Jasper was talking on the phone.

"No, mom. I am not holding some high-end party here. My friends are here living with me, remember?" He said.

Most probably to his mom.

"We don't feel like loners." He had a flat tone voice that obviously showed disinterest. "Mom, no...No...Don't come here...Mom...Fine. I'll hold a party. On Friday. Happy now?" He almost half-whined.

"Mom, I don't know anybody from around here. I don't need to raise my social status or whatever! I can make friends on my own!"

We watched him in amazement as he quarreled on the phone...with his parents.

"Not you, too, dad." He was pleading. "Fine! Come over, then. There won't be any party...I don't know with you, dad. Mom started it. If you hadn't forced me to host a party I wouldn't be so mad at you."

"You know what, I don't care anymore. Call anybody, arrange a party, do whatever you want. I don't care!" He finally hang up now and joined us on the couch.

"Wow. That was...rough." Emmett commented.

I smacked his arm. I'm pretty sure it didn't even do anything. His muscles are like really too much, you know?

Well, I've learned that arguing with a parent wasn't an easy thing. Happened to me, a lot. What more if there were two of them against you.

"They're coming over here to arrange a party _for me_ on Friday night. I don't even need it." He fumbled with the Scrabble letters in the green pouch.

Emmett was holding back a laugh.

I sighed. Of course, Emmett will always be Emmett.

"It'll be cool. You might meet pixie again." Emmett patted Jazz' back.

Jasper's face lit up at the sudden realization. "Well, if my parents wanted party then let's give them a party. Invite everyone you can invite." His face changed suddenly to something that screamed vengeance.

Well, I wasn't really going to invite anybody. I haven't even made friends. It's like I'm invisible in this place. Do you think they'd mind if I invited my imaginary friend?

Okay, so I obviously had problems now. How in the world do I tell Emmett and Jasper that I haven't made any friends in the past few days? Like, okay. Loser much? And I know that it's not me to worry about this and stuff but since Jasper is officially elite and his parents are coming over..._what in the world am I going to wear?_ I mean I haven't worn a skirt or a dress in like years. I'm mostly comfortable in jeans, a shirt and a hoodie.

I guess, I'll just have to come up with an excuse to skip the party. But could I really? Well, obviously, with the chicken that I am, no. I can't run. I'll just have to wear my jeans, then, and my shirt.

* * * * *

Should I run after class? Maybe I should give it a try.

I quickly packed all my stuff as I rose from my seat when Professor Reed announced dismissal.

"Um, Miss Swan? Isabella Swan? I'd like to talk to you now." He also said as everybody shuffled out of the classroom.

"Is there something wrong, professor?" I asked, half-nervous. I really had to run now.

"Actually, Miss Swan, there is nothing wrong. The Dean just mentioned you to me and he wanted me to check up on you every once in a while. How are you? Are you liking Dartmouth so far?" He explained.

"I'm good, I'm good. Dartmouth is just fun. Um, professor? Is there anything else? I really have to go now." I told him.

"No. Nothing else. Just go." He smiled warmly at me.

I smiled back and ran out of the room. I was running really fast and I was worrying that I'd trip or something but, none the less, I still ran until I bumped into something. No somebody.

"Ow." She rubbed her head.

"I am so sorry. Are you okay?" I asked her, full with worry, eyes wide.

"Yeah. I'm fine." She said in a little voice.

She smoothed out her black hair and stood up straight. She was barely meeting my height even with high heels. And I swear she looked so familiar. Where had I seen her? Hmm...black hair, tiny, pale and electric blue eyes. That reminds me of...a pixie. Wait? Pixie?! As in Jasper's pixie? What was her name again?

I looked at her from head to toe as she smoothed out her short black skirt and red polo.

Yep. Definitely pixie.

Then she looked at me. "Hey. You seem oddly familiar. Have we met before?"

She seemed to look at me with...disgust?

"Yeah. Um. I think we've met before at some restaurant you work at." I told her.

Oh. Jasper will not believe this!

"Oh yeah. You were the girl with the the blonde guy and the other big guy." She snapped her fingers in realization.

She actually almost recognized Jasper. He is not going to believe this!

"Well, I didn't know you study here as well." I smiled.

"Yeah. Do your friends study here, too?" She asked.

"Yes." I nodded.

"That's good." She smiled, "Well, anyway, I have to go. Nice bumping into you. I'll see you around." She walked past me.

Jasper's going to love what I'm going to do!

"Wait!" I called out.

She turned around to face me again. She looked so happy.

"Um, P--Alice. Um, are you busy tonight?" I asked her. I can't believe I almost called her pixie! Must be all the excitement!

She skipped back to me. "Hmmm." She tapped her chin. "No. Not really."

"Well, there will be a party tonight at my friend's place. Would you like to come over?" I invited her.

"Can I bring somebody along? And I didn't get your name." She asked.

"I'm Bella. Sure. You can bring somebody along." I grinned. I just hoped it wouldn't be a guy. That would disappoint Jasper so much. Unless they're related or something.

"Okay! I'll meet you at Starbucks in an hour or two. It's near the restaurant. Bye, Bella!" She jumped and skipped away.

I guess it's my turn to run. Not to run away. Just run because Jazz and Em might be wondering where I am now. I met them by the gate and Emmett was too excited, I think.

"Em! This is a revenge party, remember? Elite parties are normally formal parties. This party is a college party." Jasper reminded him.

"But still. It's a party. Lots of fun!" Emmett sat back. "So, Bella, who did you invite?"

"You know, just a couple of people." I didn't really want to tell them that pixie and co. will be joining us later.

"Are they girls?" Emmett questioned.

"Yes, they are girls, Emmett." I told him.

"You know, sometimes, I forget that you are one." He ruffled my hair which was all over the place in a pony tail.

"I always get that." I said in a flat tone.

We arrived at the JW palace a bit earlier than usual. Everything was almost set up. Jasper and some dudes finished with all the last touches and stuff. Emmett roamed around the place checking out the stuff, especially the pool. I think he's planning on dumping people in there later. Anyways, I went up and took a bath. Refreshed for later. Besides I only have...45 minutes?! left before I meet up Alice.

I rushed down as soon as I finished and approached Jasper.

"Hey, Jazz! I'm going to go. I'll be back in an hour or so." I ran out to the streets to hail a cab.

It took me about 15 minutes to get there. I searched for Alice but she wasn't anywhere here, so, I ordered Mocha Frappe just to keep me company during the wait. Exactly 30 minutes after, a hyped up pixie looking and some blonde chic entered the cafe. As soon as Alice saw me, she plopped down on the seat across me and her friend, who was so familiar by the way, sat between me and Alice.

"Bella!" Alice was almost like Emmett. "This is Rosalie." She pointed at her friend.

Rosalie? Now where did I hear that name...Rosalie, Rosalie, Rosalie...Wait. Rosalie Hale?! As in the actress Rosalie Hale?!

"Rosalie Hale?" I turned to the blonde. She is the most beautiful woman I've ever met. She had icy blue eyes. Almost like Alice's and her curly blonde hair cascaded naturally down her back. Her slim figure is sure to knock guys. And her smile is so Hollywood.

"Yes. But please...I just really wanted a calm college life." She looked at me, pleading.

"Yeah, sure." I nodded.

Alice stood to order coffee and hot chocolate for her and Rosalie. We, me and Ms. Actress, both watched her in amazement. Her energy was just really too much.

"Surprising, no? How such a small person have that much energy in her." Rosalie chuckled.

"Yeah."

"I feel overdressed." She muttered.

"What?" I looked at what she was wearing. Skinny jeans, white blouse and shoes that could kill. I mean, seriously?! The fact that she could walk in them amazes me.

"No, no. That's fine." I waved my hand and smiled at her.

"It's just that Alice is taking up Fashion Designing and she doesn't want me dressing up lamely." She shook her head. "She's also so rich and famous here, you know? And yet really grounded. She's been helping me dodge all the papparazzis around."

Alice, rich and famous? Looks like Jasper's perfect match!

I chuckled. "I see that. She's very...fashionable, herself."

Then she skipped back with two paper cups of hot drink.

"I heard my name. What's up?" She plopped back on her seat and gave Rosalie her coffee.

I was kind of scared that the hot chocolate might increase her energy levels.

"Rosalie was just telling me about you. Fashion Designing. Rich. Famous. Grounded. Good Friend." I smiled at her as I enumerated her distinct traits.

"But really, Rosalie's much better than me. She's taking Fine Arts. She's a very good painter. Very beautiful, both in and out, and I can't be more proud that she's wearing my designs!" She exclaimed.

"That's great." I nodded. "It's really nice to know that you've taken a different path than just acting."

"Yeah. Thanks. What about you?" Rosalie grinned.

What about me? Oh? Me? They actually want to know about me? Well...

"I'm not really anything special. I'm taking Interior Designing. Maybe that's why we're in the same building." I smiled.

"Cool! I know some great interior designers around here. Maybe we could hang out in school." Alice said enthusiastically.

"Definitely." I smiled warmly. I pulled up the sleeves of my hoodie and checked the time.

Woopsie! We're running out of time!

"Um, guys, mind if we go? Party's starting already." I stood up from my chair.

"Yeah, of course!" Rosalie did the same.

I hailed a cab and we talked while we were on the road. Rosalie was originally from L.A. while Alice was a New Yorker. Alice's really into clothes and that worried me a little. I was a little self-conscious. I found myself smoothing my shirt and hair every once in a while.

When we arrived Alice jumped with surprise.

"You didn't tell me that this is a Whitlock party!" She squealed.

I wasn't really that surprised when she said Jasper's surname with deep acknowledgement.

"A little explanation here, Al." Rosalie looked at Alice.

"Whitlock is like Brandon. Rich and Famous! Although, sometimes, I hate that fact." She clapped and then looked down at what we're all wearing.

"What is a Brandon? Or who are the Brandons?" I asked Alice.

"Me. I'm sorry I haven't made a formal introduction. I'm Mary Alice Brandon." She made an almost sad looking face before she looked over to me and my clothes.

I looked at her with shock. "Wow. I'm just a Bella Swan." So ordinary.

"You look cozy." She giggled.

"Yeah. Well, I'm not really dressy." I shrugged.

"We should've dropped by the house first." She suggested.

Oh crap! The one thing I was afraid of.

"No thanks." I smiled sarcastically before walking to the door.

I knocked three times before Jazzy opened the door. The music was blaring inside. And Jasper came out with a disbelief look on his face that slowly turned into a blinding grin.

"Jazzy!" I hugged him. "I'm pretty sure you remember Alice. This is her friend, Rosalie. Now where's Emmett?" I searched the living room that was accommodating around 20 people now. Who knows if there's more outside. Ugh. I'm not really a party person.

"EM!" I shouted through the throngs of people.

The house looked so different with all the lights and speakers and people. It was almost unrecognizable.

"ISOBELLO!" His tall frame towered over me as he ruffled my hair. We both stood up and he froze in his spot. "Who are these young ladies?"

"Um. Alice and Rosalie." I pointed to them accordingly.

"Rosalie?" His eyes almost bulged out of their sockets. "As in Rosalie Hale?!"

"Be gentle." I nodded and turned to the guests. "Enjoy your night, ladies." I smiled and skidded off to the mobile bar. I could almost see Emmett rant about how big of a fan he is and Jasper drool in front of pixie.

Well, this is going to be one good party.

* * *

**Should I push through? Sorry for the very late update. I'm kind of managing my time between two stories...so...yeah. I'm really sorry.**


	3. Chapter 3

**How To Become A Girl**

**Chapter Three**

I watched the party as the crowd got larger in just half an hour. I was drinking something that the bartender suggested I should try. I couldn't tell yet if it was alcoholic because it was just my first glass. But it tasted so fruity.

I saw all of them, everyone I know, except one, grouped together at one corner. That was when Jazz waved at me to join them. I almost declined but, knowing Jazz, he doesn't really take no for an answer. I downed the red liquid and ordered for another one. The bartender came back with the same looking tall glass. It had the same red liquid and froth and two cherries on top.

I walked over to the couch where they were all gathered.

"Bella, why don't you sit with us?" Jasper invited.

"Um. Okay." I smiled.

He scooted over so that I was sitting between him and his--_Holy Shit! His friend looks almost like Robert Pattinson!_

"This is Edward Cullen, Bella. We've known each other since kindergarten." Jasper pointed to the dude next to me and then back to me. "Edward, Bella Swan. My bestfriend."

Then they all returned to their private conversations. Pixie and Jazz. Em and Rose.

I gave Edward/Rob-look-alike a smile then returned to my drink. I popped a cherry into my mouth and then played with the stem until I've successfully tied a knot with my tongue. It's just really one of my weird abilites. I took a sip of my drink and it tasted perfect with the cherry after taste. _Mmmm..._

I did it twice before Edward whispered, "Are you having a Sex On The Beach?" That sent chills to my spine. His British accent is not helping at all.

_What did he say?! A Sex On The Beach?! Mother--! There ain't no beach here and there obviously ain't no sexin' going on._

"What are you talking about? We're not on the beach and there's definitely no sexual intercourse now." I raised my eyebrow at him.

He laughed out loud. "I think your drink is called Sex On The Beach."

I blushed when he gazed back at me. "Oh."

"Oh, Come on!" Jasper's arms flew around in disbelief.

I snapped my head to where he was looking.

A couple was entering the doors with caution. I realized then who they were. Jasper's parents. _Dun dun dun dun! Oh crap._

Jasper stood up and everybody followed him including me. Oh. So I see where Jasper got his genes. From two beautiful people. His eyes from his mother. They were almost grayish. But I couldn't tell right, the neon lights were ruining the lighting around her. Plus the dark, too. And then his blonde wavy hair from his dad. And the height, too.

He greeted his parents with fake enthusiasm. "Mom! Dad!"

"Jasper, honey, this is not the kind of party we were talking about." His mother almost shouted.

"I know, Mom. But this? This is so much fun." Jasper smiled.

Both his parents pinched their nose bridges.

"What are we going to do with you?" Her mother muttered through the noise.

"Love me for me." Jasper mumbled back. I wasn't sure if his parents heard that. "Anyways! These are my friends. I've told you about my bestfriends, right? Bella, Bella Swan and Emmett, Emmett McCarty." Jasper leaned in to tell his parents.

"What a weird name for a guy. Bella. Well, maybe you guys are interested to come over and play golf with me." Emmett and I booth shook Mr. Whitlock's hand. He had a tinge of Southern accent in his voice which tells me where Jasper got his.

I chuckled. "I'm not a guy."

"Huh. You sure look like one with your jacket and baseball cap." He said and everybody laughed.

"I always get that." I said that line the same way I did this afternoon.

"Mom! Dad! I'm not yet done! These are my new friends." He gestured to the rest of the gang.

"Alice Brandon." Alice hugged his mom and shook hands with his father.

"Brandon, you say?" Mrs. Whitlock asked with a hint of amazement.

Alice nodded.

"Well, your mother, Charlotte, and I used to be bestfriends when we were in highschool. I sure miss her. Tell her, I say hi." Mrs. Whitlock told Alice.

"That's nice to know. I'll pass the message." Alice smiled.

That was when Edward stepped in. "I'm Edward Cullen." He shook both their hands.

"I believe, I know your father. The famous Dr. Carlisle Cullen, am I correct?" Mr. Whitlock tapped his chin.

"Yes, sir." He nodded so respectfully.

So he's some rich kid, too? Could there be anymore here? Oh right. I'm in New Hampshire.

"Please, call me Peter."

"Peter it is, then." Edward nodded again.

"You know, honey, it's rude to leave someone out. Who is this beautiful young lady?" Mrs. Whitlock gazed at Rosalie. "Doesn't she look oddly familiar, Peter?"

"Hi. I'm Rosalie Hale." She also gently shook hands with Jazz' folks.

"Rosalie Hale? You sure got the teens hooked on you, my dear. What brings you here?" Mrs. Whitlock pushed her glasses back.

Rosalie let out a small laugh. "College. I really want to study."

"Well, that's nice to know." Mrs. Whitlock said. "We better get going. I don't think, I can handle this...party. No matter how much I hate this. I can't hate my only son."

I massaged my forehead. I could see Jasper roll his eyes.

"Well, it's nice meeting you, Mrs. Whitlock." I smiled at her before she turned to leave.

"Nice to meet you, too, kids." She smiled and then gave Jasper a quick kiss before she followed her husband out.

"Whew! Now that that's done...Would you mind if I start throwing people in the pool?" Emmett asked Jasper.

"Do whatever you want Em." Jasper waved him off. He pulled Alice back to our booth and they continued their talk.

"But, first, I shall dance with you, baby." He turned to Rosalie and took her hand. He kissed him and pulled her into the makeshift dancefloor, leaving me and Edward alone.

Well, if this isn't awkward...

"Do you want to go to the bar?" He asked me.

"Yeah. I could use some drinks." I was blushing now. Oh what the hell, Bella?!

We sat next to each other at the bar. I ordered same drink this time and Edward ordered something lighter.

"So, are you some rich kid, too?" I asked him.

"What?" His eyebrows scrunched.

"Are you like a Whitlock?"

"Nope. I'm a Cullen." He shook his head.

He's totally not getting me.

"Cullens take up their own name." He said cockily.

Nope. He definitely understood me.

"Do you go to Dartmouth, too?" He asked me.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"That's cool. Maybe we should hang out sometime." He smiled at me.

He looks decent enough.

"Sure." I downed my drink and ordered for a new one.

"You really like that stuff, don't you?" He looked at my drink that I was currently gulping down.

Ooh! I can feel it burn me down. It sends my brain somewhere else!

"Yep! And cherries and books and football and running and paintball and swimming! I just hate the name of this thing." I clasped my mouth as I realized I was already too hyped up. And then I laughed, "Sex On The Beach, oh yeah."

Edward laughed beside me.

"Man! This drink makes me crazy but I love it!" I clapped, ordering another one.

Edward continued to laugh beside me.

I felt a large shoulder scoop me up. _Aarrgghh! Emmett!_

"I heard you love swimming! You'll be the first to go in, buddy!" Emmett laughed.

I raised my head up to see Rosalie and Edward following behind us trying to hide a laugh. I groaned. I tried hitting Mr. Bulky with my fists even though I knew it was nothing to him.

"Dude! You hit like a girl." He commented.

Oh that did it! Never ever mess with drunk Bella!

"I am a--" Emmett threw me into the cold water. I struggled as I swam up. "ARGH! EMMETT!!!" I shouted.

Jazz and Alice came speeding in. And they laughed. Rosalie was giggling and I could see Emmett hide behind a bush. Edward looked hesitant, though. But everybody seemed to laugh. And despite everything, I found myself laughing too. Huh, weird. I took off the heavy hoodie, threw it on the gutter and smoothed my hair before I swam one lap.

The people started leaving one by one as fast as they arrived. As soon as the pool area cleared up, I eagerly took the opportunity to hop out of the pool and run to my room. I grabbed my hoodie and removed my chucks, clutching them to my chest as I attempted to run. But a smooth, velvety laugh stopped me in my tracks.

"Where are you going?" He chuckled.

I was shivering as I turned. "U-u-upst-tairs-s-s."

"Why? The party isn't done yet." His eyebrows scrunched.

Maybe he's drunk already. I definitely think so.

"W-w-what-t-t? Ev-v-vryb-b-body's-s-s gon-n-ne alr-r-read-d-dy." I shivered even more. Damn it, Edward! If I don't get out of here quick, I might die of hypothermia.

"Yep. But the fun's still here." He shrugged placing the two tall glasses of that damn drink that I've been drinking on one side of the pool.

_Oh shit._

Edward ran towards me crashing us both back into the pool.

_Oh shit!_

_"Damn it, Edward!" _I realized I could speak properly again and then I laughed.

_Oh what the hell?! Be damned, Bella._

"Drink, Bella?" I swam to where the drinks were placed.

"Oh yum." What? I popped the cherries the same way I did just moments ago. I removed the tied knot from my tongue. "Bet you can't do that!" I stuck out my tongue at Edward. I drank down the first glass. That was when I swear I lost it. I don't know exactly what happened afterwards but something tells me its not nice. But I do remember finishing up the second drink. And Edward Cullen was helping me with the cherries and stuff. Then I became totally drunk, I think.

Oh and I had a bad headache the next day and I found myself in such a bad predicament.

* * *

**Okay...So...I'm not really sure if I should rate this as a T or an M. I mean, I don't write lemons. I can't. I don't know why. Haha. Sorry. But I hope you're like the story so far. So. Tell me how's it going. :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**How To Become A Girl**

**Chapter Four**

Ow Ow Ow...Damn! Did that hurt or what? I slapped my forehead and massaged it. I'm having a really bad migraine, you know? I put my arms back to my sides frustratingly when I realized that nothing will make it go away at this point. Unless, I take some painkiller or something. Yep. Probably the best idea.

You know the worst thing about having full mirrors right across your bed? Your state in the morning will surprise you more than the scariest of movies.

"AAAHHH!!" I just didn't see myself naked. I was in bed, alone. How could've I possibly? When? Who? What in the fucking world happened last night?! Ugh. I don't like this. "Oh! My! God!"

Good thing I was able to wrap myself with the comforter before Emmett literally barged in my room.

"What the hell, Bella?" He asked frustrated that I disturbed him with what he's doing. Then his eyes widened with realization. "Holy crap! Are you naked underneath that thing?!"

"Em! I have no idea how this happened! I just woke up and ooowww! Damn it." My free hand flew to my forehead. God knows that I never sleep without anything on.

His booming laugh was shaking my room. "Jazz! Bella just got laid!"

"Huh? What?" He peeked in my room. And cue laugh. "Who was it, Bella?"

"I have no idea. I was just swimming last night. With my clothes on. And then I...I really can't remember anything clearly. I remember, I think Edward was there. I remember drinking two more glasses of that yummy red drink. And then I remember he pushed me back into the pool with him. And then...crap. I can't remember anything anymore!" I said, frustrated.

"Wait? Edward?" Emmett looked back at me.

"Maybe. I don't know, Em! I can't remember!" I felt hot tears rush down my cheeks.

Then their faces became serious.

I sat back down on the bed.

"I'll call him." Jasper turned away.

"Damn it, Em. It was my first time. I...I could've had my first kiss last night." I sighed. I wiped the tears away. Stupid traitor tears! "And I can't even remember anything clear! Could it be you or Jasper?"

"Impossible. I didn't even get drunk last night. I was with Rosalie and Jazz and Alice all night. You and Edward were missing, though. I thought you went to sleep early. Because you weren't in the pool when I checked." He explained.

"Jesus. How could I've done that?" I turned to him and Jasper entered the room.

"He's not answering his phone. I'm sorry, Bella." He shook his head. "I'll try to head over to the Cullens later today."

I sighed again. "Just go. I'll get dressed for the day."

Jasper threw something on the bed. "It's for the headache."

"Thanks." I smiled at him and then took a bath.

So, suspect numero uno is Edward Cullen. Since I trust my besties, I'll believe what Em said although that doesn't flick them off my list. Could it be anybody else? I only remember Edward. Maybe it is him. Oh crap. I do remember that there was something going on. I remember that part. Of course, I would remember that part because every touch engulfed me in flames. I was like being electrified the whole night, last night. I just can't remember with who and how, you know, like, details...Damn it.

I hopped off the tub and noticed my clothes on the counter beside the bathroom sink. It was like one wet blob. I put it in a bag and asked Dorota to send it to the cleaners. I finished dressing up quickly. Just in my loose jeans and shirt.

Seriously? How could I have? I've been protecting my cherry for years and what? It's just going to be popped by some guy I barely even know! How could I, Bella? How could I? I feel disgusting. It's really frustrating, too. To not know who did it and I really feel like it is Edward because he was the only one who was with me in the pool. And I'm still holding him responsible for the fact that he gave me two more rounds of my favorite drink.

Just then, Alice plops down on the couch next to me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her.

"Ouch, Bella. I know we haven't really known each other so much but I like you and it hurts when you look at me like I'm some stranger." She looked at me with a sad face.

"No. That's not what I meant. I mean isn't it too early for you to be here?"

"Actually, no. And it's not the morning anymore. It's way past lunchtime. I was actually wondering what kept you in that room of yours." She shook her head.

"I, um, I was just trying to figure out something." It was the truth.

"Oh. You were also gone last night. Is there something wrong, Bella?" This time, worry covered her cute little face.

I contemplated if I should tell her. I mean telling Jasper and Em wasn't really that helpful. And besides, Alice is a girl. Maybe she'll understand to a certain degree or something.

And then my thoughts tried to remember what really went on last night. Hmmm. Party. Drink. Party. Drink. Edward. Drink. Jazz' folks. Edward. Bar. Edward. Drink. Edward. Drink. Edward. Emmett. Pool. Swim. Guests leaving. Attempt to go up my room. Edward materialized. Pool again. Drink. Edward. Drink. Edward in the pool with me. Blurry vision. Somebody held me while I danced my way up my room. Bathroom with some random person(or maybe it was Edward). I didn't care. I don't know why. Bed and he popped my cherry. Sleep.

Oh God! For the first time ever I felt like a slut. And this is why I never liked guys in that way. They tend to use girls to their advantage.

I didn't even know if I liked Edward that way!

My own tear ducts betrayed me again.

"I'm so sorry, Bella." Alice hugged me.

"No, no. I'm fine." I wiped my tears away.

"I can see that you're not. Do you want to talk about it?" She asked.

Maybe Alice is my only chance. I'd really rather not talk to Dorota. "Um. Do you remember who I was with last night?"

"Yeah. Edward. You were having a pretty good time last night in the pool." She almost giggled then remembered to stay serious.

"Well...I might have slept with him. I don't know. I just woke up naked today and I don't ever go to bed naked. I wouldn't even care if I slept in my wet clothes." I dropped my head and fiddled with my fingers.

"Oh. Well, maybe he removed your clothes and didn't know what clothes to put you in so he left you...naked." She murmured the last word, also unsure.

"Maybe. But I remember the sex, Alice. And last night, I might've had my first kiss and my first ever sexual intercourse and I can't even remember what exactly happened." I looked back at her.

"Oh my god." She shook her head. "Are you on pills or something?"

I wasn't. And that just made the situation a little worse.

It was my turn to shake my head.

"Oh my god. Do you feel uneasy? Are you nauseous? Dizzy? Those are usually the first signs. I better go and get you something." She hopped up and grabbed her bag.

"First signs of what?" I looked at her with worry.

"Pregnancy." And with that one word she was running already.

"Wait. Alice! I'm in perfect shape to have safe...sex last night. I'm cool with my menstrual cycle." I told her. "I guess we'll figure out in a week."

She sighed. "I really want to help you, Bella."

"I'll just have to go and deal with it for now." I looked at her and smiled, "Thanks again."

"Anytime, sweetie." She hugged me again. "If it's any help to your little investigation, we left with Edward last night. Well, this morning actually. And he was drunk. Not crazy drunk, though. Just drunk, drunk. And he might not remember anything at all, too, if the alcohol has triggered his brain."

"Huh. Thanks." It is possible that he finished me off first before he went to go home. So...we were both drunk. So...we might not have any clue of what happened. So...but still! He took almost everything from me and he walked away. With it. He walked away from the situation. He fucking walked away! Gentlemen, from what I learned from my buddies, always respects the ladies. He didn't treat me like a lady. Well, technically speaking, I'm not that much of a lady. But I am one. I'm born as a lady. But...you get what I mean. He didn't do it right. Then I'm not returning the favor to him.

Good thing we're not in Forks or else this thing will spread like gossip. Well, it will turn into a gossip eventually. If Charlie ever finds out, he will kill me!

Oh damn! I bet Charlie called last night! What if...Edward answered the phone call? Oh God! Please, please, please, NO. I stood up from my couch to get my phone on the bedside table. There was only one message. From my father. Charlie apologized for not being able to call. He had to some work. I replied that I was completely fine and asked how he is. There was, however, a note flashing on the screen of my phone that says, "Sorry, Bella."

_Huh. Could it be? Well then, sorry my ass._

I returned back downstairs and Alice was talking to Jasper.

"Bella, Jasper's going to Edward now. Do you want to go with him?" Alice said over Jasper's shoulder.

The last thing I want to see now is his goddamn face! Hell! I don't even care if he's uberly hot! "I might combust in anger if I see him. So, no. Not now." I shook my head and sat back on the couch.

"Okay. I'm sorry. I'm heading over to the drugstore. Wanna join me?" Alice invited.

Did I need anything from the drugstore? Pregnancy tests? Just in case? Yep. Definitely.

I nodded at Alice and Jasper dashed out of the door. I rode with Alice. She was driving a Porsche 911 turbo. _Damn, rich kids._

"Are you alright, Bella?" She asked sweetly when she turned off the engine.

"I'm fine. I just really can't get over what happened last night." I shook my head hopefully pushing away the blurry images.

She got off the car and I followed her into the store. She seemed to be heading to where I was heading. I let her follow and guide me through. Pregnancy...Pregnancy...Pregnancy. I searched for it among the shelves. Ha! There it is!

I got one and turned to see Alice smile at me.

"I was hoping you actually get one." She nodded.

I looked at her hands. Pills. I might as well get those, too. She saw me eyeing her merch so she handed it to me and asked for a new set.

"Thank you, Alice."

"No problemo."

"So, Alice...Do you like Jasper?" I narrowed my eyes at her and she blushed.

She nodded.

I didn't feel bad towards her. I usually did to anyone who was dating my bestfriends. But there was something about Alice that wouldn't let me feel that towards her. Maybe it's how caring she is.

"Jasper's great." I told her as we paid for the stuff.

"I know. He's so awesome. Last night, he kissed me on the cheek before we went home..." She squealed and then continued to tell me about last night. She dissected every action from Jasper and told me. It was kinda weird at first. Listening to someone speak about your bestfriend in that way. I never really saw Jazz as a romantic person. Maybe Alice is good for him. Better than Stanley or Spalding. And I really like Alice. Like I don't want to attack her everytime she speaks or moves. She doesn't have such a nasal voice. Her voice is sweet and high but appealing. She was cute in her own way. And she doesn't look like she's trying so hard.

I didn't realize that we have entered a boutique until latter. I was too absorbed in her story. About my bestfriend. I laughed.

She scrunched her eyebrows.

Oops.

"It's just funny that we're talking about Jasper. I've kinda known him since the start of highschool. You know how weird that is, right?"

She laughed, "Yep."

"Anyway, what are we doing here?" I raised an eyebrow at her.

"This is PixieDesigns. My own boutique." She grinned. She looked like she was so proud about this. I couldn't help but smile.

"Wow. Cool." I was fascinated. Ha! I knew she called herself a pixie!

She giggled. "Well, Jasper wanted me to hand you some clothes. All the in season clothes. Those'll fit you, don't worry. I sort them by size. You can have those. You really need to improve your appearance, no offence. Not that you look dirty or something. Just have some style." She pushed a large cardboard box at me.

Despite her comment on my appearance. I still couldn't hate her. This is her living and she was willing to give it to me. I'll be willing to pay for it to make her happy. I wasn't sure if I really liked these stuff.

"I'll pay for it. But I really need to get a job first."

"No, no. I don't sell the ones in boxes. They're either for Rose or for me and we don't sell them. So...yeah." She waved her hands.

"Are you sure? I really want to pay for it." Besides I really need clothes and I pay for my clothes.

"Yes. I most definitely sure. Now...for that job of yours. I can help you look for something." She shoved the box in the backseat of her car and we drove around town looking for something.

Alice is awesome. Somehow, she made me feel a little better. It's either she's a real and she has awesome magic or she's just really good with people. But still...I think I'm starting to love Alice.

* * *

**Two chapters in a day! That felt nice. :D Tell me what you think, okay? Because it matters so much! :D By the way, I rated this M. Just in case. :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**How To Become A Girl**

**Chapter Five**

It's been a month now. Since I officially met Alice and Rosalie, who, by the way, hangs out with me comfortably every single day. I love Rosalie, too, like Alice. They're really awesome. It's been a month since Jasper's "revenge" party. One hell of a night, huh? But I say, it was fun, though. And it's been a month now since that night. Since that guy, took advantage of me. It wasn't rape. Not really. It's not like he forced it. I'm pretty sure I participated, too. I was just not as aware at that time as I am now. I mean I was drunk. And probably he was, too. Alice and Rosalie made me promise to take the pregnancy tests for a month, every week. Just to be sure. My period is expected the day after tomorrow. So I'm really waiting for that to happen.

Right now, I'm in the library. I've been doing this, too, for a month now. I love books and when I'm here, everything feels different. It's like I'm being taken away from the real world, giving me a chance to sit back and relax. Give my head some peace time, you know what I mean? Whenever I'm with Alice and Rosalie, everything seems to be passing with a blur. Like we're riding a sports car or something and I usually get exhausted by just watching them shop, plan stuff and talk.

Oh yeah, Rosalie's dating Emmett now just as Alice is dating Jasper. And I'm totally fine with it. Alice and Rosalie have been the best among all the others that my buddies have dated. And it seems that Em and Jazz have found their matches. Like their "forever". Not my word. Em and Jazz used that when they talked to me one time. I actually thought they sounded gay for one moment but, hell, they're happy so am I. For them, at least.

I checked my watch for the time. I sighed as I realized that I only five minutes left before I meet Al and Rose by the gate. _Come on, time to go back to reality._ I told myself. I put the book, that I've been reading, back on the shelf and logged out.

It's a Friday night and that means that we'll all be going out. First, I have to go shopping with the girls and then we do something crazy. Last week, we did truth or dare. This week they wanted to hit the bar but I'm not sure if they'll let us in. Or maybe they'll use their names, Whitlock and Brandon, again. And some money, probably. Just like before when we decided to eat out and the tables were all taken. They hated it but they really wanted to eat there, so they did it.

As I was logging out, a guy who seemed oddly familiar, stood next to me. He was way too tall for my 5'4'' frame. And as I looked up, I thought I'd recognize that wild hair. But it was dark the last time I saw that hair, so I wasn't really sure.

"Excuse me, ma'am." He cleared his throat.

Okay. I'll take my chances. Edward Cullen? But hey, there are a lot of guys around here with a British accent and wild hair. It's kind of the in thing nowadays.

"Hold on, sir." The librarian, who I learned to be Mrs. Cope, held her index finger up at the man next to me.

I was waiting for my library card.

"Here you go, Miss Swan." She smiled warmly at me before handing me my card and turning to Mr. Wild Hair.

He seemed to have frozen in his spot. I felt him stiffen when Mrs. Cope said my name.

"What can I do for you, Mr. Cullen?" She smiled at him, too, just like she did to me and then pushed back her glasses.

Now it's my turn to freeze. _Chance taken._

_Holy--! No frickin' way. What do I do? What do I do? Think. Think. Think._ This might be my only chance to get to him. I haven't seen him since the party, meaning I've never talked to him about that night. I will most definitely not let him get away this time. And then there's Alice and Rosalie waiting for me. But I'm pretty sure they'll understand. _Okay. Do this now. Hold your head up, Bella._

I turned around to face him just about the same time he turned to me, too. "Oh. Hey, Edward." I greeted him. "I haven't seen you in a while."

He gave her his card before smiling back at me. Cue swoon. "Bella."

"Mind if I talk to you for a moment when we get out? It's really important." I smiled icily at him.

"Sure." He faced back the librarian.

I waited for him. Mrs. Cope was really running slow, no offense. They should get her an assistant. After a couple of minutes, he was done and he let me out the door first.

Damn it! I couldn't wait to confront him.

"Is there anything you need from me, Bella?" He asked me.

_Oh yeah. Can I have my cherry back, you asshole?!_

"Hmmm..." I pretended to think. "Let's see."

He looked at me intently.

"Ah! Right. I _need_ you to tell me the truth." I looked into his eyes. Awesome green..._Snap out of it, Bella. _"Did something happen between me and you on that one night?"

He didn't answer. He merely looked away.

"Edward," I tried again. "Did something happen?"

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to...I was drunk and you were, too. Obviously. But I was less drunk. And we were in the pool. And everything got heated up. And then we were just doing it. I...you...I...sorry...And then I realized what I did and I didn't know what to do. So I...damn it! I...walked away, okay? And I'm really really sorry." He stuttered.

I let out an exhale. I felt like forgiving him even though he just did the heaviest thing for me. I don't know why. He seemed so sincere about his apologies. And we were both drunk. So, we weren't aware. _But he walked away. He left you in a predicament. You had to deal with it alone. So unfair of him and not nice._

I pinched my nose bridge in frustration and I clutched my stomach when I felt it scream hunger at me.

"Oh my god. Are you pregnant?" His eyes widened like saucers.

"I doubt it." I shook my head. "But I'm still checking. It's been a month now, you know. I'll know the final results later."

He ran his hand over his face. "Tell me, okay? Whatever comes out. Tell me."

_And what trust you just like that? Ha! No, no, no, no, no. I don't think so._

But he is the possible father of my possible baby. Ugh. This is getting more and more frustrating.

My phone rang. I looked at screen to see Alice's name flashing. "Hello?" I answered.

"Bella! Where are you?" Alice was panting.

"Just wait for me. I'm coming soon. Give me a couple more minutes." I told her.

"O-kay. Hurry up, please."

I snapped my phone shut and faced Edward again.

"Are...we...okay, Bella?" He knit his eyebrows together.

I wanted to smooth out the creases that were forming. But my mind told me not to feel sorry for him. He was my suspect and I was the victim.

"It's not that easy." I looked down.

"I'm really sorry. I'll make it up to you."

"I told you, not that easy." I narrowed my eyes into slits. "I better go." I turned around. "See you around, Edward." I said coldly at him. And I walked away from him. I had to show him that I can walk away, too. Part of me hoped it was true, that I'll see him around. But I know it's not right to feel this way to a person who just took what I've been guarding with so much effort ever since I was born. It wasn't right.

I walked to Rose's car with an unbelievably slow pace. The one that, if I was in my right mind, would annoy the hell out of me and also the one that's perfect for just thinking. Thinking about Edward Cullen. I don't know why but I feel like forgiving him. But like I said, it's not right. And I still feel like punching him in the fucking face, too.

"Bella! What took you so long?" Alice asked with worry.

"I just bumped into somebody." I looked down, afraid that my face might reveal something.

"Okay. You're acting weird, honey. Either way, we better get going. You still have to take your last pregnancy test." She pat me on the shoulder before pushing me in the car.

"Hey Bella!" Rosalie greeted as soon as I hopped in. She was as excited as Alice. But she was also more patient.

"Hey Rose." I smiled weekly at her.

I found myself thinking again. About Edward. About me having a baby. About my job...

Yeah. Alice and Rose have been helping me a lot with that, too. There's this interior designing company that they've been getting me into. Structures and Designs. They want me to get a position there, even though it was just a assistant to the boss. I already had my first interview last week. If they like me, they will most likely call me back soon for a second round. But I doubt that. I think I failed the first one. Well for one, I was wearing a simple outfit. And Alice was screaming at me at the top of her lungs for not wearing the proper attire. Now she's got a hold of me and she's not letting go until I fix that for the second round.

So we got to the house on time, thanks to Rosalie's manic driving abilities. If we were in Forks, I wouldn't have allowed her to get to that speed but then again, we aren't. And then they saw the unopened box. And I think Alice wanted to scold me for having really bad fashion taste and not opening the box. She was telling me one time that I wasn't a "gangsta". I wasn't as convinced as she was. Hahaha. Just kidding!

Finally, when I was in the bathroom doing whatever I needed, first up was the pregnancy test. I was sitting on the toilet impatiently as I waited for the result to show up.

_Negative._

I let out a breath of relief as I stood, threw the test away and headed for the shower. Now that I was covered with a thin sheet of sweat, I wanted my water cold. And so I let it run cold. And damn, did it feel so good.

I brushed my teeth twice. Just a habit I picked up from my dad. Washed my face again before I dried my self with a towel, wrapping it around me afterwards.

Rose and Al were chatting animatedly when I stepped back into my room.

"How was it?" Rose asked first.

"I got a..." I pretended to look bad. Like sick. "negative."

"Are you sad about it, Bella?" Alice looked at me with a sad face.

"I'm damn happy about it." I broke into a face breaking grin.

They both laughed and jumped with me. Alice was the first one to drop on the bed, followed by Rosalie.

"Um, guys? I need to dress up." I pointed at myself and the towel.

"Yeah. About that, Bella..." Alice looked at me. "Why the hell haven't you opened that box? There are a lot of good stuff in there. Damn. Why didn't I notice?" She murmured to herself the last sentence.

"I don't know. I told you before, I'm not dressy." I shrugged. I expected her doing that anyway. I wasn't so surprised.

"Oh come on, Bella. You're missing out on a lot." Rosalie said.

I shrugged again.

Alice searched through my bedside table for something sharp. She came across my keys and used it to open up the boxes. "Let's see..." She picked up pieces of garments from the box. Examining it as a professional.

_Oh no. They are not going to dress me for tonight. No. I will not allow that. I'll allow the interview because, I admit, I need help there but tonight? No, no, no, no, no. I don't frickin' think so._

"What are you doing, Alice?" I asked her.

"Looking for something to let you wear. I need Rose." Rose scurried to her side and they both searched through the clothes.

"Um, guys? I already have something to wear." I pointed at the closet with my thumb.

"What? Your "gangsta" wear? I don't think so, Bella." Alice's eyes narrowed into slits at me before going back to the box.

"Alice...Rose...Please? Can I wear what I want?" I almost whined.

"Not tonight, Bella." Alice shook her head. "Ah! Here." She held up a pink sequined dress. It seemed to catch the light in every angle. No way. That will attract too much attention and it's too short.

_Is she fucking kidding me?! I am not wearing that!_

"I can't wear that. I'm sorry, Alice. But I just can't." I shook my head as I adjusted my towel.

"Why not? You've got a great body. Show it!" She looked at me.

I instantly felt a pang of guilt wash over me.

"Because I will look inapt in that." I lifted my free hand towards the dress. "Just please. Let me wear whatever I want." I pleaded. _Man, this is bad._

"Okay, okay. Today will be the last, Bella." She lifted her index finger to point at me.

"Fine." I knew that agreeing would be a bad thing. I guess, I just have to find my way out of her schemes every time.

They both hurried out with sad expressions on their faces as I closed and locked my bedroom door.

I got my loose black shirt from my closet and my safe skinny jeans. As I was dressing up, I passed by the full body mirror and I saw myself in my underwear. I'm thin. Like model thin, I think, but I never showed anything to anyone. Yeah, maybe Edward but I didn't really now. Anyway. I turned to my side wondering when I'll ever gain weight. I clutched my tummy.

The baby...Should I tell Edward that he has nothing to worry about now? _No. He walked away. And if I was having a baby, it means he walked away from that, too._

Somehow, I felt bad. I felt bad for not having something there. I've been waiting for a month and hoping. Yet, nothing came out of it. I was relieved, of course, but I suddenly feel empty, hollow.

I shook my head, pushing the thoughts away and returning to dressing up. I ran downstairs, surprised to see everybody ready. Wow. Was I really that slow today?

Alice eyes lit up a little. Huh. Jasper.

"I'm ready." I took a deep breath.

"Oh. Wow. I never imagined your body to be that thin...and gorgeous. Your shirt is too baggy, though. But your legs...damn!" Alice and Rose eyed me up and down and up and down until I got annoyed. I thought I should feel insulted with her "thin" comment until she added "gorgeous" in.

"Shut up, Al." I looked at her with a long face. Then my phone rang.

I picked it up and some familiar voice came up on the other line.

"Is this Isabella Swan?" The voice asked.

"Yes." I said, my voice almost trembling. I could see all my friends stare at me with curiosity.

"This is Heidi from Structures and Designs. We were just wondering if you're still up for the job?" Ah. Right. Heidi. The one who interviewed me the last time.

"Of course." I bit my lip waiting for her response.

"Are you free tomorrow after lunch? The boss wants to talk to you." As soon as the words, "the boss", spilled out of her lips, I was pretty sure I trembled so bad.

"Y-yes. I-I'm definitely available." I tried composing myself. No luck, though.

"Alright. Come to the office at around two in the afternoon." And she hung up.

I dropped on the bed and I noticed that their faces haven't changed a bit.

I looked at Alice, first, who tried to figure it out until I couldn't hold it back anymore.

"Interview. 2 P.M. Tomorrow." I told them. Especially to Alice.

She squealed like crazy! And they laughed. They all laughed going to the car. It was so contagious that I found myself laughing, too, after a few moments.

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**Hey guys! Tell me what you think, okay?**

**Again, height for Bella is 5'4''. :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**How To Become A Girl**

**Chapter Six**

Jazz and Al used their names again to let us in. The place was jam packed with college kids and some who were older than us. It was like de javu and it scared me. Maybe because of Jazz' party...So, I told myself to take the alcohol to the minimum. Two glasses of that delicious drink at the most for tonight. I wouldn't want some random guy taking me to bed. And maybe this time, I wouldn't even know his name. I'd rather have Edward than some guy I don't entirely know, right?

_Wait. What?_

Emmett and Rosalie led us to the bar and we all took our seats. Me being in between the two couples. Sucks being the single in this group. But yeah, I'm too average for New Hampshire.

"Bella," Emmett hugged me. "Be careful, tonight, okay?"

I hugged him back.

"Yeah. No more crying in the morning, naked and with a migraine and not knowing what happened the night before." Jasper added in and kissed me on the forehead.

I was about to wipe it away when he saw my hand and playfully smacked it away. And then just as usual, he laughed.

"Besides, you have an interview tomorrow with Structures and Design, right? Wouldn't want messing that up, would we?" Alice tapped her chin.

I shook my head and smiled. Everything just seems to be happening so fast, it's rendering me speechless. I mean, I talked to Edward and he was honest, which took me by surprise. I was expecting him to protect himself but he didn't. And then there's the pregnancy test. And it was negative. And I had some sort of negative reaction to it. But of course, I had to hide that from Alice. And then there's the interview. And then this.

"And so, let's celebrate." Rosalie nodded and ordered a bottle of champagne and five glasses.

I took one, remembering the time when it was just me, Em and Jazz, inside the limo celebrating my arrival to New Hampshire. So much have changed then. And it's just a little over a month. We toasted and I drank the champagne little by little. Just taking sips.

"Aw. This might be the last time we can go out on a Friday night if Bella has some job to do." Alice slouched into Jasper's arms. They look so sweet, it's sickening. In a good way, though.

"We'll move it to Saturday nights then. I wouldn't want to miss out on anything with you in it." I laughed.

"Saturday nights it is, then. What about you, babe? Have you got a job already?" Rosalie looked at Em. Honestly? I never thought Em could settle.

"Actually, yes. I work at some Car place. Dirty Driving? Ever heard of that?" He rest his head on his hand that was propped up with his arm.

"Dude! Seriously? The go-kart place?" Jasper's eyes widened with excitement.

"It's not just go-kart, dude. There's this place behind it that they use as a private racetrack for cars." Emmett talked animatedly with his hands.

I took another sip from my glass and listened to Emmett as he talked about the awesome cars and drivers.

"Boys." Alice shook her head.

I chuckled and then Rosalie was at my side.

"Come on, Bella. Let's dance." Rosalie grinned.

_Uh oh._ "Um, guys?"

"What now, Bella?" Alice turned to look at me with a glare.

_Gulp._ "I...I, uh,...I...can't...dance. Like, I'm not capable."

They both laughed.

"You're kidding us, right?" They both said at the same time with the same tone. Almost like they've been practicing it.

I shook my head then looked down. The loud upbeat was blaring through the speakers and was pumping this place. My heart was pumping nervously in my chest.

They pulled me into the dance floor and they swayed. I didn't know what to do and I felt like an idiot in the middle of the floor. I turned around to go back but their hands caught me.

"Come on. Just sway." They were both swaying in front of me.

So...I started swaying. I imitated Rosalie and I started feeling relaxed doing this. And I haven't even had some of that dangerous red drink.

Rosalie pulled me to her. Her hands, landing on my hips. My breath hitched in surprise. She started swaying us and we were dancing together. I put my arms around her and just let go. I didn't let myself think. Although, at the back of my head, the part that's conscious, I was asking myself if what I'm doing this right. Alice went behind me and danced there. I felt like I was some human sandwich. But I didn't care. I just danced. Well, swayed is the more appropriate word.

When the song finished they were both laughing and jumping, obviously waiting for the next song to come up. Despite my nervousness, I was able to laugh it off too.

"I'm going to go back to the bar. You guys enjoy dancing." I smiled at them.

"Okay." They had pouty faces but I really don't want to dance anymore. So I turned around and bam! I bumped into someone again.

Long-blonde-sweet-smelling-(it's so sickening, in a bad way)-hair was in my face. I'm definitely sure that this is a girl. At first I thought it was Rosalie. But this hair was too dry. Rosalie's were soft and natural.

"Watch it, bitch." She spat while turning around to look at me. Definitely not Rosalie.

Whoa. She was hot. Almost like Rose but Rose is hotter. She had blonde hair that was curled so nicely, gothic make up that made her blue glassy eyes look transparent, and she was wearing a short pink dress. Something like the one I avoided wearing tonight. It was neon and it screamed "Look at me!". She was tall, too. Almost a six footer. I'm starting to believe that Rose is her celebrity icon.

"Come on, Tanya. Let's just dance." A familiar voice sounded from behind her.

"But, Edward, she pushed me over." She was hell whiny and her voice was very nasal. She reminded me too much of Lauren Mallory and I wanted to punch her in the face. Besides, I _didn't_ push her over.

The guy, who I presumed is the same Edward that I barely know, peeked from behind her while wrapping his arms around his weight.

"Bella?!" Edward's arms were away from Tanya as soon as he recognized me.

"Hey Edward. Can you tell your _friend_ that _I_ didn't mean to _push her over_? _Thank you_." I smiled sarcastically at him, purposefully ignoring Tanya who was just in front of me, and then walked away.

I flushed red with anger. Lauren = Tanya = Punch. Fucking whiny bitches.

I slumped my shoulder and glared at anybody who dared to get in my way. I sat between Jazz and Em and then ordered for my favorite drink.

"Whoa. Isobello. What happened to you? You were doing just fine on the dancefloor with the girls." Emmett turned me to him.

"Fucking whiny bitches." I muttered.

Jasper laughed. "Alice and Rose?"

I shook my head angrily. The bartender slid my glass to me.

"Okay, okay. Who is it?" Em got off his chair and cracked his knuckles.

"Edward and Tanya."

Emmett laughed, too. "Wait, wait, wait. Tanya? Like Rose copycat?"

"You know her?" I glared at him.

"She's in one of my classes. She tried getting it witj me. Man, that girl's pathetic." He shook his head.

"Tell me about it." I rolled my eyes then popped the first cherry into my mouth. Doing the same thing I did last month. You know, tying it into a knot.

I saw Rose and Alice step back into our group and all four of them watched me do the second one.

"You never told me you could do that." Jasper was in awe.

"Ha! You never told me you were rich." I laughed.

A group of voices started mumbling behind us and I was starting to get annoyed. The two couples which I separated dreadfully in the middle were too busy doing whatever. Trust me, you don't want to know. Too private.

So I turned around to see Tanya standing there with her hands on her hips. Edward and a couple more were standing behind her. I turned back around and then the mumbling started again.

_Okay. Can't they just leave me alone?_

I turned to them again. "What?" I said through my teeth.

"Um. Edward wanted me to, like, um, say sorry to you or something. But I really think that's not needed. Like, would you need that? I mean, like, look at yourself. I didn't even know you're, like, a girl at first. Um and you don't look like you're actually cool. I mean, like, do you even shower or something? I mean seriously..." She kept on babbling about how plain I look. How much I stink. How much I'm not a girl. How much I'm this and that. And how much better she is than me.

Edward's hand flew to his forehead. Al, Rose, Em and Jazz watched her with surprise as I pretended not to care. I drank my drink slowly as she talked.

"...And seriously, I saw the way you looked at Edward and it's not nice. I mean, I don't like it. So you better, like, step away from him. I hope we understand each other here." She finished her speech just as I finished my drink. I needed it.

"Are you finished?" I looked up to her.

"Yeah. I guess so. Like, duh." She snorted.

"Good. Because I freakin' understood every single word that came out of your mouth. And guess what, I don't fucking care. I hope you understood that. And I hope you understand that you're messing with the wrong person." My fist collided with her face with one swift move. She fell down and Edward tried to pick her up.

_Damn! That felt good._

I swear I must've left her with a broken nose and a black eye. Like I said, Fucking whiny bitches.

I looked at Edward who was sitting on the floor helping Tanya. "I hope she wasn't your girlfriend yet when you fucked me up last month."

I walked out of the club and Jasper called up his driver. And as I walked away I could hear Tanya try to speak to Rosalie.

"Oh my god! Rosalie Hale?" She almost squealed annoyingly.

There was no response from Rose.

"I am a big fan of yours! I can't believe there's a celebrity here!" She was really getting annoying.

"I'm not a celebrity tonight. I'm a friend and as a friend, I want you to back off Bella." Rose said icily to her and followed us out the club.

None of them said anything, not even Emmett, during the ride back home. I thought about what that Tanya told me. Maybe that's just who I am. Some...cockroach trying it's best to survive with the humans. Maybe that's who I am. Some low quality whatever. There just might be truth to her words. And it hurts knowing that. That maybe I was trying hard. Too hard...

When we all got out of the car and into the JW palace, I turned around to face them. "Hey guys, I'm really sorry about tonight."

They all sighed in relief. "Are you kidding me?" Emmett bellowed.

"That was one of the best punches I've seen from you! You've learned, buddy!" Jasper ruffled my tied up hair.

Alice and Rose seemed to be speechless.

We looked at them and we laughed.

"Guys? You okay?" I asked them.

They both laughed nervously. "Yeah, yeah. We're...fine." Alice waved her hand off.

"O-kay." I smirked.

"Oh and Bella, tell me if you don't want to be dressed up tomorrow. It's completely fine with us. Just wear what you want to wear. You can just call me if--" Alice said it so fast, I was just lucky I caught every word.

"Alice, Alice. Listen to me." I cut her off. "I definitely want you to dress me up tomorrow, okay? I need that." I kissed both Rose and hers cheeks and walked off to my bedroom, shouting 'goodnights' on the way.

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**2 chapters and on-going! :)) This is fun to write. I'm in love with this. :D So...what do you think?**


	7. Chapter 7

**How To Become A Girl**

**Chapter Seven**

The next morning, Dorota came in my room with a tray for some breakfast in bed.

"What's this?" I asked with a smile as I straightened my sitting position.

"Mr. Jasper mentioned that you have an interview later and I just wanted to make you feel relaxed in the morning." She placed the tray on the bed, right in front of me.

"Aw. Thank you, Dorota." I blushed.

She gave me a small smile before she turned to the door.

Wow. I've never been taken care of before and this, this is just really new to me, hence, the blush. So much is going to happen today and I'm quite nervous. Alice will be coming over soon, I bet. I'm scared about the interview. Hell! I'm scared about the boss. I hope Alice doesn't put me in anything that's too uncomfortable for me or else she'll get the Tanya treatment. Just kidding. I love Alice that I won't ever do that to her unless she turns into a Tanya, which I doubt she will..._Okay. Enough. Damn! My heart's, like, pounding._

I looked at my breakfast, instead. I focused on the blueberry toppings with syrup that covered my pile of pancakes. The orange juice that begged me to drink it. I found myself drooling at the food. Thank god, Dorota's gone! She would've laughed at me if she was still watching me. I sighed, remembering how my father used to try doing this everytime. But he fails and I take care of it. We also like having pancakes a lot. Jazz and Em would know that. Thinking of. I haven't called my dad since last night. He must be worrying.

I rang him quickly. "Hey Dad."

"Hey buddy." He greeted back. "What's up?"

"Nothing, really. I have an interview later. You, dad? How have you been doing? I'm sorry I wasn't able to call last night." I was about to cry already but I forced them back.

"Fishing with the guys, as usual. You don't have to call me all the time. I'm quite surprised you actually made the effort to check up on me every night." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"I miss you, dad. So. Who's been taking care of you?" I asked him.

"Sue. Clearwater. She's pretty great, Bells." He said.

"Well, that's nice. I should thank her. But you should stay away from her daughter." I smiled glad that my father's keeping up the joy.

He laughed. "You should. And I shouldn't be keeping you from your interview. Heaven knows how much I miss you, buddy."

I felt like hugging him. "Okay. I love you, dad. You take care."

"Always am. Love you, too, Bella. Goodluck." And with that he hung up.

I focused on eating the food this time. I don't want to cry. Not now. _Mmmm...I should ask Dorota for this every morning. It's perfect!_

A knock came on my door.

"Come in." I said as I swallowed.

Alice trotted into my room with a large chestbox and a dressbag with another box in her other hand. "Finish eating your breakfast and we can start on you."

_Wow._

I smiled at her. "Thanks, Al."

"Oh. It's nothing. I'll call Dorota." She skipped out and left me to finish my food.

Dorota was right on time. She picked up my clean tray. If the plate was edible, I might've just ate that, too. I headed for the bathroom and took my time as I took a bath. Cool, refreshing bath. There's no need to hurry. There's no need to hurry. As soon as I felt my heartrate go back to normal, I washed my face and brushed my teeth twice. I dried my hair with my towel and wrapped it around me.

Alice handed me a pair of black underwear and I looked at her with a strange look.

"It's for your benefit and confidence, trust me." She smiled.

Rose entered the room and helped Alice around.

I got back into the bathroom to put on the lacy black thing. This needs some getting used to. I'm pretty much comfortable with boxers. Hahaha. Just kidding.

When I got back, they made me put on a white 3/4 sleeved button down blouse. And then they were talking about pencils and skirts. I thought they were going to zip me up in a skirt that had pencils on and I thought, too, what a disaster that would be. That maybe letting them dress me up might be a bad idea after all. But again, I was wrong. I learned that the skirt is called a pencil skirt. It was short and pretty tight but comfortable. And then they put me in a pair of black shiny leather tall shoes that scared the hell out of me. I thought I would never stand up. But they helped me and taught me and so, I ended up just fine. But I still worried when the time would come and I'd fall flat on my face. The top buttons were left...unbuttoned. It wasn't too showy. It was just right. Besides, what do I have to show, really? Nothing.

They put me on a chair and I felt like they were going to lock me there. I followed their every instruction: Close your eyes, Open, Look up, Pout. Those stuff. Rosalie did my hair and Alice worked on my face. Thank god, Alice took it easy. My face didn't feel too heavy. I still looked the same, natural. Except my face looked a little defined and refined. My eyes were lined with black. And my eyelashes looked thick for once. My lips were pink and shiny. And my hair...I saw it as natural as it is. They didn't tie it up. Except they put an almost invisible headband and they let the curls fall, creating some kind of a bouffant beyond the headband. It's not that I hated my hair. I just wasn't used to having it down all the time.

"Au Natural." Alice grinned and then handed me a black leather purse.

"Your hair is gorgeous, Bella. Why have you been hiding it?" Rosalie asked me. She asked me to grab my hair while she put on a silver necklace with a diamond pendant around my neck. They found it in my bag and I remembered that my dad told me that it was my mother's once. I was hoping it might bring some sunshine and goodluck into my day. I need it so badly.

I shrugged then they pulled me off the chair and into the mirror. I thought I was seeing some other person. But when I smiled, she smiled, too and I know that I'll be alright.

"Thanks, guys." I hugged them each and we went downstairs. The couch was moving eerily if you looked at it from the back but I realized that Em and Jazz were playing with the Wii. And they were just really that roudy.

"Hey guys, we'll just bring Bella out to lunch and we'll drive her to the office." Alice shouted from the top of the stairs.

Both of them turned around to murmur 'okay'. But they stopped mid-word and their jaws dropped to the floor. And they were staring. And they were annoying.

"What?!" I asked, finally annoyed.

"Geez, Bella. Why have you kept yourself from the world?" Emmett shrugged and went back to the game.

"I love my baby." He winked at Alice and she blew back a kiss. "You look good, Bells. Goodluck."

"Yeah. Goodluck, Isobello." Emmett raised up a rocker sign.

They pulled me out of the house and, boy, is it hard to walk in these damned shoes. I almost tripped a couple of times but thanks to my friends, I haven't yet fallen flat on my face. The lunch we had was quiet. We had it in the same restaurant that Alice used to work for before. I met Laurent. He's Alice's gay friend. And he's so adorable and funny. He helps Alice in designing her clothes and Alice says he's so much better at everything than she was. He even told me goodluck before we left the building.

The drive to the office was pretty tense. Alice and Rosalie were reminding me to breath and relax. She turned her air-conditioner to its maximum level. I thought they might just laugh at me.

"Okay. Bella. We're here." Alice smiled sweetly.

"Call us after the interview. Don't worry, you'll do fine." Rose smiled, too. "Auditions are much worse."

I laughed shakily.

"Ready?" Alice looked at me then smiled.

"I guess so." I took one deep breath before getting off the car. "Thanks guys. Really. I'll call you, soon."

I entered the familiar building. It's soft white walls just as bright as before. The reception desk was just as modern. It was made with glass. I think the whole building was. There was a faint jazz number playing in the background. It was familiar, too. Hmmm...It sounded like Renee Olstead. My aunt sent me an e-mail about her. She was crazy about her. And then she sent me an album. I rolled my eyes at the package when it landed on my doormat last year. But I laughed anyways.

I approached the receptionist and her eyes bulged out of their sockets. She looked familiar, too. She was tall, too. Her black hair was tied into a neat bun. And her grey eyes were striking against her tan color. She looked like a model, if you asked me.

"Isabella Swan?" She asked me.

I nodded then smiled.

"Heidi Jones." She offered her hand for a handshake and I took it. "Well...Wow. You look so different."

I chuckled. "Thanks. My friend just took advantage of me this morning while I was groggy."

"You really prepared for this. Well, you shouldn't have to worry about anything. Esme's really wonderful and nice. Unless you infuriate her." She giggled.

I clutched my purse.

She took a folder from her desk and led me into a room with two couches facing each other.

"Please, take your seat. She'll be here in a few moments." She turned around and as soon as I was alone, I took a moment to smooth out my skirt and blouse.

The door closed and opened with a silent click. When I looked up, I saw the most beautiful woman in the entire world. Her curly reddish-brown hair was tied up into a pony tail. It was familiar. She was wearing a dark violet blouse and a black skirt. It was just slightly longer than mine. She wasn't that tall. Almost as tall as me. Probably, 5'3'' or 5'2''. Her smile was heartbreaking because it was the same smile that I imagined my mother would have if she was alive. And her eyes were green and familiar. I felt like I've seen them before but there is no way that I've met this woman before.

"Isabella Swan?" She asked me.

I nodded then smiled. I realized that I just repeated what I did to Heidi.

"Well, you're not how I imagined you to be. Please, have a seat." She motioned to the couch behind me.

It was so comfortable, I feel like I could sleep on this.

"It's really nice to meet you." I smiled.

"Call me, Esme." She said.

I nodded again.

"So, I read your resume and I couldn't have asked for a better assistant. You're perfect for the job. Your schedule meshes well with mine. By the time you're done with school, you still have extra time to prepare yourself for work. I'll have you here until 9 p.m. every weekday. Don't worry, I won't let you do so much. I understand you're a student. And I have a son who's a student as well...so, I understand the pressures that Dartmouth might give. And your pay, I believe, is $1000 per month." She smiled so sweetly.

"Thank you, Esme." I nodded. I couldn't have presumed that she has a son. She looks too young. And $1000?! Is she crazy?

"And I heard that you're taking interior designing for college. You'll enjoy this job then. I might just let you design some stuff for me. Oh and you don't need to change into work clothes. I'll take you as you are." She took a sip of her coffee that Heidi brought in.

"Thank you, really. I think I will like it here. And it helps me with my studies as well. There's an upside."

"I hope you do. Now, enough with the business talk. We've settled that down already." She giggled.

I couldn't help but giggle, too.

"I bet you've heard of my son. He's kind of famous out there. I don't know where he gets that fame. But he's smart and he studies and he's a good child so I guess he deserves it." She smiled.

"I've only been here for a month. I might not." I shook my head then smiled.

"Oh. Where are you from then?" She took another sip from her cup.

"Forks, Washington."

"Oh. Wow. I love the forests there. You're parents must be proud that you're here, now."

"Parent. My mother died when I was born." I corrected her.

"I'm so sorry, Isabella. I didn't mean to...bring it up." She whispered, obviously feeling guilty.

"No. It's alright. We all have to get past life's hurdles, one day. And please, call me Bella." I looked at her and then smiled.

She simply nodded.

A knock came on the door. Heidi poked her head in. "Esme. Your son's here."

"Oh, goodie. I can introduce you to him." She smiled and headed out the room. "Give us a minute."

I nodded and thought, was her son as beautiful as she is?

They both stepped in the room together and I swear my eyes widened and jaw dropped.

"Bella, I'd like you to meet my son. This is Edward. Edward, this is Bella." She motioned her hands between Edward and me.

_You have got to be kidding me!_

_

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_

**_Hope Edwards_ requested for 3 in a day and voila! Here's your three chapters. :) In a day. :)) Review the story, okay? Thank you. :D**

**Thanks to ****_Chatterbox1603_**** for taking notice. There was some typographical error in this chapter. Heights should be 5'2'' - 5'3''. That's for Esme. :) Bella is supposedly 5'4''. :)) Sorry. But there I changed it already.**


	8. Chapter 8

**How To Become A Girl**

**Chapter Eight**

_"Bella, I'd like you to meet my son. This is Edward. Edward, this is Bella." She motioned her hands between Edward and me._

_You have got to be kidding me!_

Okay. Okay. Okay. Take a deep breath. It's just Edward. No one else. Besides, you've shared a night together already. Okay. That wasn't so much of a help. If I responded normally, Esme would be curious and that's the last thing I need right now. For her to question us about how we met. Because it's not such a good story.

_Pretend you don't know him. Pretend you don't know him._

I looked up to see him mirror my actions just seconds ago. Wide eyes and jaw on the floor. I laughed internally. I walked towards him and offered my hand for a handshake, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Edward."

I smiled as he took my hand. But as soon as the contact was made, some weird energy current passed between us and when he took his hand back, it was as if he burned my hand and the heat lingered on my skin.

"Well, Bella, I can say the same." He smiled the crooked grin that I thought I'd never see again after that night.

"Bella, Edward stays here in the afternoon until I go home. He's so sweet, he waits for his mother." Esme rolled her eyes. "It's a good thing, you'll have company. It's an assurance that you won't get bored. Edward here is quite a handful though. God! I feel like I'm fixing some play date. I was about to say you can do homework together if that's possible. I have to remember that you guys are grown-ups already and don't need so much taking care of." She shook her head and chuckled.

Oh Jesus! Seriously?! Everyday with Edward? Oh my god. I don't think I can last this. _Thanks to you, frickin' asshole, I might just lose my job today!_ Shouldn't Alice have known about this? She is the one who referred me to this company. And if it's owned by the Cullens, I'm pretty sure that she would have known. Hell! Everybody would've known. Except for me, of course.

"Um. I guess that sounds alright." My hand tightened it's grip on my purse.

Heidi poked her head in, "Esme. There's a phone call for you in your office. It's Mrs. Jenkins."

"Thank you, Heidi. Tell her I'll be there in just a short moment." She smiled then her hand flew to her forehead. "I'm going to have to leave you two, alone. Bella, I'll let Heidi bring in the contract for you to sign." She smiled one last time before heading out the door.

I let out a breath of relief. Damn. Have I been holding my breath for that long? He let out a whistle and he ran his hand through his hair. Now, that's why Esme's hair color had been so familiar. I've been avoiding to look at his eyes but I had to check if it was the same green. Yep. Same awesome green..._Bella? Bella?! _Clearly, he's got a great pair for parents.

Heidi entered the room and placed the contract folder on the coffee table. I had to bend down to sign it and man, could this be anymore awkward and uncomfortable. It's like my ass is up in the air.

"Thank you, Isabella. I can't wait to have you here with us!" Heidi hugged me and then hurried out the door with the papers. I wasn't even able to tell her to call me Bella instead. I could see Edward smirk at the mention of my full name. I rolled my eyes at him.

And then it's just me and him. Can I go now? Where's Esme? I am not leaving without saying 'goodbye' personally to her. That's not the way to impress the boss on the meeting day. It's not yet even my first.

"Bella," he started, "can I talk to you about something?" He motioned for me to take a seat and I did.

"What do you want, Edward?" I said through my teeth.

"Can we not mention how we truly met to mother? I don't think she's going to like it that much." He looked at me almost pleading.

"Me too." I said icily.

"Good. And since we'll be spending our days together, maybe we can have some kind of truce or something. I don't want my mother getting curious about our behaviours towards each other." He looked at me again.

"A truce? Like it's that easy." I scoffed.

"We need it. Or else..." He trailed off.

I wanted to challenge him. "Or else, what, Edward?"

"Or else, you might lose your job." He answered back. Now that's one thing I can't challenge. _Damn it, Edward! Damn you!_

I wanted to stand up for myself there but I couldn't, not when my job's in danger.

"Fine! I'll try my best to act normally." I hissed.

He smirked. "Anyways. You never told me about the result of your tests."

"Why should you care so much?" I narrowed my eyes into slits.

"Because I might be the possible father." He pointed both his hands to himself, his voice in a low whisper.

"I'm not pregnant, okay?" I told him in a whisper, too, and he seemed to relax. "Did you even know that was my first time? My first kiss? My first possible baby? And _you_ walked away from it!" I could feel the tears collect. The pictures, the emotions, everything flashed like pictures in my head. And they were dull. That makes it more frustrating.

_No, no, no. Don't you fucking dare betray me today._

Esme entered the room and her eyes flew to mine. "Oh, honey. What's wrong?" Her eyes went back and forth from me to Edward. "Did Edward make you cry?" Her hands went to my knees as she sat on the arm of my couch.

"No. I just...we accidentally brought up my mother. It's just hard thinking that I never had one. That sometimes I think to myself that it might be my fault why she's dead." My words rang with truth.

"Oh, Bella." She kissed my hair. "I thought I taught you better than to make ladies cry, Edward."

_I really hate to burst your bubble, Esme, but Edward's been worse than you think. Oh, yeah. He slept with me and walked away. Gentlemen don't do that, agree? And now he's asking if we were having a baby! Unbelievable, I know._

I glared at Edward. He looked surprised. I couldn't tell if it was about my first time or about my mother or maybe it was both.

"I'm sorry, Esme." I sniffed. "I have to go. I think I need some fresh air."

Esme stood up and helped me on my feet. "Okay. I'll see you on Monday, Bella." She kissed my cheek and I gave her a quick hug. I gave Edward a quick glare before I headed out the door.

"Bye, Bella." Heidi waved.

I waved back and pushed the glass doors open. I called Alice as soon as the outside wind whipped my hair. She told me she'll be here in five.

An arm slipped around half of my waist. I turned to see Edward with a sad look on his face.

_Oh, what now?!_

I jerked away from his touch. It was electrifying.

"Bella. I'm sorry. I didn't know." He shook his head. "I didn't know it was your first time altogether and that your mother died. I'm really sorry. I'm sorry about yesterday, too, with Tanya. And whatever you did, I deserved it. I'm so sorry."

"Too late for that now, eh?" I crossed my arms across my chest.

Alice's yellow car stopped in front of me and I turned around to look at Edward. "I'll see you on Monday, Edward." I hopped in the car and Rosalie surprised me from the back. I laughed. Finally. I was out of Hell of Tension. I can finally breathe properly.

"So...are you going to tell us why you were with Edward just moments ago?" Alice peeked through the top of her shades at me.

"He's the owners son. Why the hell didn't you tell me? A warning could've have been appreciated." I told her.

"I didn't know, I'm sorry. I just asked my mom if she knew anything and she told me to try Structures and Designs. I kind of told her you were into interior designing." She shrugged and looked back on the road.

"Rose?" I turned around to look at her at the back.

"Sorry. I ain't got no clue." She shrugged, too.

I huffed and the car was silent until Alice asked me what went on.

"Well, I met Esme. We talked business. Thank god, she allowed me to wear whatever. I'll be there until 9 every weekday. $1000 a month. Then she starts mentioning she has a son. Little did I know it was Edward. Esme's beautiful, by the way. She said he was sweet and all that. And then Edward comes in and we pretend not to know each other until Esme went away and he asked me about my pregnancy results. And then--" I babbled on.

"Wait. Pregnancy results? How did he know about that?" Alice took her shades off and eyed me suspiciously.

_Oops._

"I talked to him yesterday afternoon. Before I got to you." I murmured.

"Why didn't you tell us?" I couldn't tell if Alice was angry.

"I...I don't know. A lot was rushing through my head then." I looked down. "I'm sorry."

"Bella, you know we only care about you. Go on." She sighed.

And I went on. "I told him why he cares so much and then he argues that he's the possible father. I told him he was my first altogether and my tears started showing up. Esme comes in. Edward and I, by the way, made a truce. We didn't want Esme to get curious enough. Anyways, Esme comes back into the room and catches me almost in tears. I told her that we accidentally brought up my late mother. And then I told her, I had to go. Edward followed me outside, right after I called you, to say sorry and that's it." I dropped my head again.

I hope things don't get worse as they already are.

When we got back to the house, Jasper and Emmett were still in on the game. I wanted to join them. I wanted to let out all the locked in anger from this morning. I wanted to not think about this morning. I wanted to let go. I wanted scream. I wanted to shout.

"How was it?" Jasper paused the game.

"You don't look so good, Isobello." Emmett looked at me with a worried expression.

"It went well. Until Edward comes in and it turns out he's the owner's son." I took off my shoes and sat between Em and Jazz on the couch.

Jasper let out a whistle and Emmett mocked punch his side of the sofa.

"Come on. Let's just play. What are you guys up to?" I asked them.

"We're playing _House of The Dead: Overkill._ Cool stuff, man." Emmett handed me his gun.

Jasper started the game and then I started shooting frantically. I looked to my side to see Al and Rose stare at me with disbelief. I cocked an eyebrow at them. Jasper's phone rang and he passed his gun to Emmett. I asked the girls if the wanted to join. They only shook their heads and continued to watch me with Emmett. Jasper went into his room to take the phone call. I lost myself in the game. I was having so much fun. Slowly, I stripped myself of accessories. I tossed the headband on the couch then I untucked my blouse. All this while shooting. Okay. Overkill makes me hyper. I laughed when Emmett missed a shot. I shot the zombie for him anyway.

And so we played. Until Jasper ran down the stairs to say the not-so-good news.

"I got a phone call from my parents." Jasper's head dropped.

What did they need? Another party for Jasper to throw? If that was it, I might just dislike them. I'm sorry. Parties just make me crazy now.

"It's their wedding anniversary tomorrow. And as much as I hate this. We're invited to attend their party. And It's their anniversary, I can't say no to that." He shrugged.

So...their party? Is quiet, right? And not much craziness? And full of old people? And more reserved, I guess? I don't see anything wrong with that.

"I think your parents are invited, Alice. You know their circle of friends before. And my mother specifically told me to bring you guys along. She said, she likes you. All of you." He smiled but then it turned into a frown.

Why was he feeling so bad about it? Knowing Jasper, he'll go to it for his parents.

"But...Bella?" He asked me.

"I think I'm cool with it." I shrugged.

"Edward will be there. She told me to bring him, too. And his parents are invited. So...there will be a 99.9% chance that he'll be there." He walked towards me and hugged me. "I'm sorry, buddy. You don't have to go, if you want to. We'll fake sick."

Oh bullocks! That's why he had that face on. Damn Cullens! I was really hoping I could have an Edward-free day tomorrow. I mean he keeps appearing where I am, recently. But, hey, wouldn't it be almost the same, given that Edward will be there with a whole lot of people, he doesn't have anytime to annoy or pay attention to me. Besides, if all sorts of people will be there and they're elite, I'll look pale next to them. He would certainly not notice me. What? Why the hell am I even worrying about that? This party is about Jasper's parents and they want me there. So there, I will be.

"I don't mind. I'll be there for your parents." I shrugged again, finally getting this all sorted out.

They all sighed with relief. "Thank you, Bella. But you don't really have to go." Jasper hugged me again.

"I want to. For your parents." I smiled.

"Okay. So. Alice? Theme will be silver and blue. It's their 25th tomorrow." He winked and swiped the gun from Em.

Alice squealed. "Come on, Bella! We have to figure out what we're wearing tomorrow!" She pulled me and I threw the gun to Emmett.

"What? I'll wear my jeans and grey top. Blue and silver...well, gray. But that's close to silver." I gave her two thumbs up.

She laughed. "You're kidding, right?"

"Nope. Straight damn serious about it. Why? What else do we have to wear?" I asked her, a little nervous.

"It's a Whitlock party, Bella. A real Whitlock party. Which means dresses and ties are more appropriate." She shook her head while she gave Jasper a glare.

"Oh no. I..." Think. Think. Think. Damn it! I'm not suffering that again. I coughed. "My throat hurts." I rubbed my neck.

"Ha ha. Come on, Bella." She pulled me up and told me to change into something more comfortable. She called someone on the phone while I replaced the skirt and blouse with a pair of loose jeans and a shirt. God! I missed these. And then we headed out to her boutique.

I just hope she won't go over it.

* * *

**1st chapter for today! Two more to go! :D Enjoy reading and then tell me how it went for you. Thank you!**


	9. Chapter 9

**How To Become A Girl**

**Chapter Nine**

Yesterday was tiring. Laurent came over to the boutique and looked at us. He did the shopping and all. Alice wanted us to be surprised and she trusted Laurent on that. I hope he doesn't go way overboard. We stayed at the boutique while waiting for Laurent. I played pretend-to-be-excited while they played Bella Barbie. I hated that game.

Laurent has been here since this morning. He was preparing our make up and dresses and stuff. Honestly? I don't know what's the big deal with this stuff. I mean, I get it. It's Jasper's parent's party but seriously? I don't think it has to be this pampered. I was the only one left behind now. I'm not yet done dressing up because I don't feel so confident about this. Tonight we will be having dinner at the Hall Grand Du Ciel. Sounds grand, I know. Like really grand. And I'm nervous. Most of the people there don't know me, that's the point. I'm not so good with introductions.

I'm standing in front of my mirror now. In my room. Alone. I was trying to absorb my reflection which I could've suggested that the girl over there was fictional. It's not that I don't look good but I feel like I didn't belong to this stuff.

Alice wore a silky royal blue dress. It was short and it puffed at the end. She was wearing silver killer heels and Rose, too. Rosalie's fell down to her knees. It was silvery with flecks of light blue. It puffed out like a kid's dress. Emmett and Jazz went pretty simple. They followed their girlfriends' colors. Both were wearing grey suits with silver neckties but Jazz went with a royal blue button down while Emmett had light blue button down.

I, on the other hand, was the single one. So no partner for tonight. And they made me wear something more complicated. Are you familiar with Helen of Troy? Yep. My dress looks like it belongs to the collection of Greek Mythology items. It was midnight blue. And the cloth was unbelievable. It's very soft and thin. You'd say it was light but it drapes on my body heavier than I would've imagined. The cloth didn't cling to my back. It collected just before my ass appears. And then my front is less scarier, thank god. It showed my cleavage (Like I even have one). And the peep show ended just below my breasts, forming a V there. My arms were bare and I felt bare. The dress is almost see through! The cloth area that held the dress together on my shoulders were bunched up using silvery ropes that fell to my back. And this dress is long. It was so long, I think there was one foot more of cloth that just collected on the floor. It was like a wrap dress that I was thankful at first because I thought it wouldn't show my legs. That means less skin. I think I have enough skin showing on my back. But I was wrong again. I discovered that every time I step forward with my right leg, almost my whole leg would be seen. It would show my leg and the deadly shoes that I dreamt of hiding. I should've never let them teach me wear shoes like this. Too late for that now, eh? The shoes were silver and tall and they were gladiator shoes (something I learned from Laurent). But the strings that wrapped around my legs were thinner than what teens usually wear nowadays. And they ended mid-calf.

I groaned as I looked at myself for the last time. Why did I let this happen? Laurent did my make up. They went with silvery black for my eyes and same normal pink shiny stuff for my lips. My eyelashes looked thicker again and longer. And my hair. Oh, my hair. I felt sorry for it. It was tied up in a _complicated_ low pony tail. They curled it nicely and they tamed it and the let it drop on my left shoulder. I swear I saw them put silver bead-like stuff on my hair, too.

A knock came on the door. Laurent came in. "Are you ready, honey?"

"I...I don't think I can do this." I shook my head and sat on my bed.

"Of course, you can. You look beautiful. Better than Alice and Rosalie. Don't tell them I said that, though." He looked at my reflection.

I chuckled. "Do I really have to look like I'm getting married?"

"When you get married, things will be more extravagant. This is not the best that we could put you in yet. But I love it. The colors against your pale skin is perfect." He clapped.

I had an oh-no face.

He laughed. "You should feel confident. You'll break every teenage heart out there because you're simply too beautiful for them. Too good."

I chuckled again.

"Come on. Let's make your grand entrance. I'll hold your hand, I promise." He fixed some lose strands of hair and then helped me up on my feet.

Nobody have seen me yet in this. Only Laurent because he was the one who took care of me.

I fiddled with the huge ring on my left finger.

"Come on. Head up. Walk slowly." He offered his arm for me to hold and I took it.

He guided me out the door and to the top of the stairs. Arm in arm, we walked down the stairs. Slowly with light steps. We descended down the stairs. I've never done this before. Not even for prom. Hell! I didn't even attend prom. On our prom day, Jazz and Em went with their dates. I was alone at home. My dad felt sad for me in a way but when he got back, he had brought home pizza and he played some slow song. He took me in his arms and we danced the night away. I was stepped on his feet. It was funny as I remembered it so it brought a smile to my lips now.

I could see Alice almost cry with joy. Rosalie was amazed. And Jazz had a smile on his face. Em's jaws were on the floor. I'd say that's bad, given that he's holding his girlfriend.

"Woahkay. Where is my Isobello and what did you do to her?" Emmett extended his arm to Laurent as we stopped at the foot of the stairs.

"Trust me. She's there. And since you ruined our moment. I'm going to eat your muscles tonight, boy." Laurent playfully growled.

Emmett backed down and gulped. "I'm going to ready the driver." He ran out the door and left us all laughing.

"You look different, Bells. It's awesome." Jasper gave me a quick hug. "I better go after Emmett. We don't know what he might do next."

"Wow. Bella. I...I don't have words. For the first time ever. You render me speechless." Alice shook her head in amazement. "You look beautiful."

"And your damn stunning!" Rose's hands flew around to my direction. "I'd say you look more of a celebrity than I do."

"Guys! We have to go!" Jasper called out.

I turned around to face Laurent. "Thank you so much. I never would've done this without you." I hugged him and he lightly kissed me on the cheek.

"Go get 'em, beautiful." He winked.

Alice and Rose gave him thanks, too. And they held on to each of my arms as they walked me to the limousine. Seriously, I feel like some millionaire having a bad day.

During the drive, Jasper opened a bottle for champagne and I willingly downed two glasses. I need the alcohol to relax my nerves. I felt like we were from that TV Show...what did they call that? Something about gossips. Anyway, Alice and Rosalie were laughing and so was my buddies, too. The atmosphere was too light, now, and this left me worrying about later. But then Emmett mentioned how scared he is of Laurent and that made me laugh with them as well. I mean, if you saw his face a while ago. It was like scared but trying to look brave. It was hilarious.

The car stopped and, well, obviously, we've arrived at our destination. Alice took my hand as we got off the car. She was rubbing circles on it to relax me.

Hall Grand Du Ciel was definitely heaven's grand hall. The ceiling was dome-ish and had angels and clouds painted on a sky blue background. The walls were intricately designed with twirls and flowers and leafs. There was buffet on one side with the dining tables. Then there was an empty space in the middle. Probably for dancing. Dancing?! Holy sh-cow! Nobody mentioned anything about dancing!

And everybody was dressed in different shades of blue with touches of silver. Or vice versa.

We were met by Jasper's parents at gates of heaven, I assume.

"Jasper, darling!" Mrs. Whitlock kissed his cheek while Mr. Whitlock went in for a manly hug.

"Mom, Dad. Happy Anniversary." He smiled.

"I'm so glad you brought your friends!" Her mom was estatic. "Alice. Your mom's gorgeous. She arrived moments ago and it was a merry reunion."

Alice smiled and kissed her cheek. "Happy Anniversary, Mrs. Whitlock. And to you, too, Mr. Whitlock."

"Oh please! Call me Marianne." Marianne smiled. "You look adorable by the way."

"Thank you." Alice flashed a smile and hopped off. To her mom, I guess.

"I'm glad you all could come." Peter, Mr. Whitlock, shook hands with Rose and Emmett and me.

"Oh, Rosalie, dear. You look lovely." Rosalie gave her a kiss on the cheek as well before greeting them 'Happy Anniversary'.

Emmett shook hands with both of them and greeted them as well.

"Jasper. You haven't introduced us to your new friend." Marianne shook her head.

Jasper let out a short laugh. "She's not so new, Mom. You've met her. Mom this is Bella."

I flashed them a smile.

"Bella? The one with the baseball cap and the jacket?" His dad asked questioningly.

I smiled and shook his hand. "Happy Anniversary."

"Well, you've transformed into such a beautiful lady." Marianne shook her head in amazement. "I shouldn't be keeping you for dinner. I put you kids in one table. I figured that at your age, you need each others' company so badly." She pointed us to an empty table.

Wait. Grouped us kids, together? Does it mean Edward will join us in the kiddie group? Oh my god. Esme will be here.

My hand flew to my forehead and before I could walk off with my friends, the Whitlocks have moved on to greet the family that I've been dreading to see. And oh! My back was facing them. What a whole lot skin to show!

"Esme!" Mrs. Whitlock greeted her. "Welcome to Hall Grand Du Ciel!"

"Happy Anniversary to you two." Another man's voice said. It was soft, too, yet it had a tone to it that made it so different.

"Carlisle. It's great to see you." Mr. Whitlock greeted.

"This is my son, Edward." Esme said.

"Oh yes. I've met him before." Peter told them.

_Oh shit. Move, Bella! Move!_ But I can't. I was glued here. I was too frozen to move. Where were they? Rose and everybody, I mean. I lifted my head to search for them among the crowd.

"Bella." Marianne called my name.

_Damn! Damn! Damn! Fuck!_

I had no other option. I had to turn around.

"Mrs. Whitlock." I smiled back. "Oh. Esme. You're here."

"You know each other?" Marianne asked Esme. I caught a glimpse of Edward. Almost like his expression when he saw me yesterday only this time, I think he was drooling. Ha! Beat that! He was wearing a grey suit and a...midnight blue button down. What the?! Damn! He was...undeniably hot. His hair was all over the place but it fit him well. And those eyes..._Bella?! Snap out of it! _He shaved.

"She works for me." Esme looked at me. "Wow. You look..."

"Breathtaking." Edward continued her sentence in a soft sigh.

"Truly." Esme nodded and moved to hug me. "Wow. Bella. Just wow."

Carlisle, the only other man, moved next to Esme. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Bella. Esme and Edward speaks so much about you."

Wait. Edward speaks about me?

I shook Carlisle's offered hand. It felt familiar. Fatherly.

Carlisle was good looking. Platinum blonde hair and blue eyes. Tall and professional looking.

"Carlisle, Esme. I'd like to introduce you to the rest of the people here. Leave the kids alone." Marianne said as they walked off, leaving me and Edward again.

Okay. Awkward.

I was able to move now. I started to walk towards the table where I can see Rosalie feeding Emmett.

"Wait. Bella!" He called up.

I continued walking.

He put his arm on my shoulder to stop me. Still electrifying.

I turned around and he took his hand away. I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"I just wanted to walk you to the table." He murmured.

"Well, unless you're blind. I think it's clear that I can walk myself. Thank you." I turned back around and walked.

He just followed this time. Walking next to me. Placing a hand on the bare skin of the small of my back. It was like he was burning a hole through me with that little touch.

I looked over to Rosalie and Emmett who were all so coupley and playing and giggling. Their eyes flickered between Edward and me as we arrived.

"Spots have names. I think yours is there." Rose pointed to the spot that was next to the namecard that had 'Alice' written over it.

I pulled out my chair and finally, I was out of Edward's touch. But the spot where his hand was still burned. I took my seat and a glass of champagne was brought to us. I looked to my right. Alice's spot. I looked to my left. Edward's spot?!

I groaned and shut my eyes hoping that I'd just imagined that. But he already took his place next to mine, so, I guess not.

Hell...I can just imagine how tonight would be. Slow and annoying. What a way to end the weekend!

* * *

**I am in love with Bella's look here. Can you imagine her in that gorgeous blue flowy dress? :) Tell me what you think, okay?**


	10. Chapter 10

**How To Become A Girl**

**Chapter Ten**

I let out a sigh.

People started dancing. I saw Alice pull Jasper into the middle of the hall. Rosalie stood up, too, pulling Emmett with her. I gave her a smile for some sort of encouragement. She was ecstatic. I chuckled. So...I'm left alone again with Edward. Why do people like doing this?!

I slumped into my chair feeling exhausted and bored.

"Bella?" The way my name rolled out of Edward's lips made me feel weird and uncomfortable.

"Yes?" I turned to him.

He scrunched his eyebrows and said, "Nevermind." He stood up then, walking towards the other direction.

Sigh. Now it's just me. And now I really feel so alone. At least when Edward was here, I knew I had some sort of company. A part of me argued that I shouldn't be here. That I should've agreed to Jasper's first decision. To fake sick. But this time I don't have to fake sick because I literally feel sick now. I could be at the JW palace, playing Wii, eating food, reading a book, calling my dad, sleeping...Seriously, I feel solitary. I leaned my chin on my propped up hand and continued sipping champagne. My stomach grumbled with hunger. I clutched it and thought about standing up to get food from the buffet table. And just as I was about to, Edward came back with two plates of food. My eyes widened as he set the first one in front of me. I looked at him then raised an eyebrow.

"Um. I wasn't sure what you wanted. So I got you some of each and if you want something, I'll go back and get it for you. There's also dessert." He placed the other plate on his side.

Really? Edward's doing this? Is he for real? I wonder what he ate...

"Wow." Clearly, was there even a reason to hate him at the moment? "Thanks."

"Sure." He smiled that crooked grin.

_Damn you, Edward! _I gave him back a smile. I looked at the plate. There was about 5 different dishes on my plate. There was chopped steak, I think, some raviolis, some veggie salad, some baked chicken and some of what looked like seared tuna.

"Aren't you going to eat?" I asked him.

He shook his head. "I'm fine. I'll eat when you're done."

"Come on, I'll share the plate." I moved the plate a little towards him. It was now between us. I had to shift my position to the side so that I would be facing him.

_Share a plate? Share a plate?! I don't know where that came from._

"No, no. Eat, Bella." He tried pushing the plate back but I stopped it.

I picked up my fork then stabbed the steak. I took a piece and ate it, licking my lips as the juice oozed out. I took time to chew it, taking a sip from the served wine.

"Your turn." I swallowed.

"Are you trying to be funny? Just eat." He smiled.

"Fine. If you're not going to eat independently..." I took a piece of the ravioli and held it up to him. I pointed the fork towards him. "then I'm feeding you."

He chuckled. "Why do you care now?"

He was right. Why in the world did I care if he ate or not?

"Because, I wouldn't want to be responsible for your death just because I didn't feed you." I moved the fork closer to him.

He narrowed his eyes before taking the bite.

I smiled. "See? Is it that difficult?"

He chewed and he gulped. He let out a short laugh. "Hmmm. I suppose not."

"Now pick up your own fork and eat." I flickered my eyes to him before motioning to his fork. I started eating seriously and so did he. These stuff are delicious! Compliments to the chef! I remembered my father's attempts at cooking. Culinary is just really not for him. Thoughts of him, though, relaxed me to an extent. I ate one-fourth of everything and Edward didn't surprise me that he finished the rest.

He replaced the clean plate with the dessert plate. A huge slice of what looks like cheesecake. Obviously, he didn't just get it for me. I wouldn't be able to finish that. But that wasn't really what caught my attention. It was topped with fresh cherries! My favorite cherries! But it sent shivers down my spine. Cherries were also the main attraction of that night. That one night that Edward and I, who I am face to face with right now, spent together.

"It was just some plain cheesecake. You pick the toppings but since, I remembered how much you like cherries, I thought I'd get them instead. I can go back--" He explained.

"No. Cherries are fine. I do love them." I smiled. I picked up one cherry and popped the whole thing in my mouth. I removed the tied stem from my mouth afterwards and the seed, too. I cut a small portion of the cake and ate it, too. I found him staring again.

Hasn't anyone taught this guy that it's rude to stare? Especially if the person's eating?

"What?" I asked him.

"Nothing...it's just..." He didn't finish his sentence by eating a cherry and leaving the stem out. He threw out the seed and ate a part of the cake, too. There was a smear of the cheesecake on the side of his mouth.

I laughed at him.

"What?" He looked at me.

I pointed to the spot on my face that mirrored the smear. His hand went flying on his face but he always missed that spot. So I did it for him. I used my thumb to remove the stuff away. He leaned on my hand as I accidentally cupped his jaw.

I quickly took my hand back and cleared my throat. I kept eating cherries to prevent myself from saying something and thinking about what just happened. It was unexplainable. The energy that surged was just a little stronger than before. I wondered how it would've have been if he touched me in places I couldn't even imagine, now. Was it stronger? Oh crap.

_Stop thinking, keep eating. Stop thinking, keep eating._

Thank god, Alice and the rest came back to the table they were giggling and they sounded so happy. But they stopped once they noticed the silence that passed between me and Edward. Jasper and Emmett stood up to get food and Rose and Al stayed there and watched.

I let out a sigh.

Soon enough, Jazz and Em came back with two different plates each. Wait. Didn't Edward just almost do that? What did it mean? _What did it mean? _They gave one each to Rose and Al and they placed down their own. I looked at the clean plate in front of us and the plate that still had some cherries and cake. Would they notice that we shared? Would they say something about it? I couldn't blame Edward this time. I offered back the food. It had 'my fault' written vividly on this.

It was quiet. Really quiet that it's not that cool anymore. It wasn't just quiet, there was also some tension in the air. I sat there on my seat until I couldn't take it anymore. I stood up and at the same time Edward stood up too.

"I think I need some fresh air." I said at the same time that he said, "Excuse me." Our words were incoherent to the rest of my friends as they collided. I could see them look at us with shock on their faces and gaped mouths. We both turned around to head to different directions. I didn't care anymore where he went. I went straight for the gates of heaven. As soon as I was out of that building, I let out the breath that I've been holding.

I found a bench and sat on it. Trying to relax, cooling myself with the breeze. I could feel some lose strands softly whip my face. I didn't feel like crying. I wasn't disappointed. I just felt like I've been trying to swim to the surface of the water. I needed to breath. There was some sort of struggle. I just couldn't tell what it was, really. I let myself relax for a few more moments...Letting myself breath it out. I'm treading now.

I was expecting Jasper or Emmett sit next to me. I'll even expect Alice and Rose. But then, just as usual. I was wrong again. _I mean can't he see that I needed some time off him?_

"I'm sorry about a while ago, Bella." He whispered.

"Don't worry about it." I smiled weakly at him. It wasn't his fault. I touched him this time.

"Tell me it's alright."

_I wish I could...but it just brings up a lot more._

"It's alright." I looked at him. I didn't dodge his eyes this time. A part of me argued that it was wrong that I let myself drown. But I didn't mind it. His eyes looked back at me the same way I did to his.

"Okay." He exhaled.

My friends started exiting the hall one by one. I stood up wanting to go back to them. But I saw the serious stares and connection between the two participants of each couple. It seemed like it was a sin to disturb whatever they had. Then I remembered Edward. I turned to face him. He was standing on his own two feet already.

"I gotta go." I told him.

"Okay. Goodnight, Bella." He nodded. He took a step closer.

They've already walked past us. I didn't know if they purposely ignore us. It seems like it, though. Because they didn't let their eyes wander around. And that was suspicious enough for me. They went for the limo so quick, I wouldn't have noticed them if I didn't look past Edward.

"Goodnight." I smiled, stood up and followed behind them.

And now I felt lonelier than ever. They had love. I didn't. And I felt so empty, so left out. I couldn't blame them, though for making me feel left out. It was the glory of love. Hey, I might've never been in love but I think I know how that works. And I'm getting scared...

The drive was quiet as usual. I concluded that maybe they just don't really want to talk when we're inside the car on the way home. Too much love tension going on, maybe? I looked out the window as different colors passed by in a blur.

Wondering...when I'd actually get a taste of love. I mean, I got a taste of some but I really wouldn't call that lovemaking.

When I got home, I went straight to my bedroom, locking myself in. Right now, I need some space. Some air. And if Alice and Rose were here to ask me about tonight, I might unintentionally leash out my wrath to them. Not good.

I dressed down hurriedly, not caring if I've ripped a part of the expensive and elegant cloth that they wrapped around me. I took off the hair accessories, not caring if I've pulled out strands of hair. I let the water fill the tub. I think this would be good for tonight. And as soon as I hopped in, I let all thoughts leave me. Everything. And I let myself drown.

I hadn't notice that I've fallen asleep in the tub. I let one round of water run on me and then drained the tub. Man, I've never felt this exhausted. I dressed up in my comfy long pajamas and huge shirt. I dried my hair unmindfully and gave the clock a glimpse.

2 A.M.?! What time did we arrive at home? _How long was I asleep in the tub?!_

This is going to kill me tomorrow.

* * *

**There! Three chapters for today again. Did you like it?**


	11. Chapter 11

**How To Become A Girl**

**Chapter Eleven**

I woke up late the next day which means I also got to school late. I mean, I had to search through the box for something to wear. I found a lose long sleeve top that had purposely folded sleeves. It had a messy blue and cream stripe design. I think they call this a v-neck sweater. I also found a dark pair of jeans that was so comfortable, I didn't even think twice about wearing it. Then I put on my usual Chucks. And the day went unbearably slow, well, for most part of it actually. I mean, I have a paper due tomorrow! Plus, I kept anticipating my first day at work. I kept counting down the hours, I have left. It only made it worse when I realized that I would be spending most of my time later with Esme's son.

I had about an hour left before I need to be at the office. So, I decided to stop by Starbucks to get a cup of coffee. I am in need of it badly. I mean, I wouldn't want to be this sluggish at my first day of work now, would I? I stayed a little while in the cafe before I took a cab to get to the office.

I wasn't feeling any better. The coffee isn't helping at any rate at all. I was still lifeless when I stepped out of the cab. And my computer back was weighing on my shoulder real bad. My father had bought me a Mackbook just three months ago. I wasn't really much of a computer user, I just use this if I really needed to. But recently, my usage increased dangerously. Alice coerced me to create a facebook account and to update it all the time. Plus, all my homework was easier to do on this thing than manually on paper.

I was about to push the door lazily but a hand flashed and pushed it. Obviously, he was stronger and had more energy because he was able to push it swiftly. Must be Mr. Security. But I don't remember him from any of my two visits. But still, I had to thank him.

"Thank you." I swear my face went paler when I saw the guy. He was definitely not the security.

My ponytail whipped my back when I quickly turned my head back around.

"No problem." He said.

Heidi gave us a suspicious look before she greeted, "Hey Bella, hey Edward!" She was almost like Alice at times.

"Hey Heidi." I gave her a small smile and a wave. I saw him nod at her in my peripheral vision.

I stopped in my tracks. Edward stumbled upon me and it took all my strength, which wasn't that much, to hold still.

"I, uh, I...don't know where Esme's office is." I said, slightly laughing.

"Keep going." He whispered at me. His breath tickled my neck and sent shivers through my whole body. That made me feel weird. "Straight ahead."

I kept going straight. When we've reached the other end of the room, he told me to turn left. I turned left down the hall and we were met by a door that had the title, "Head Office, Owner, Esme Cullen."

Edward knocked thrice before opening the door. It was quite a big room. Esme was sitting behind her desk, massaging her temples. She looked up at us and her face lit up. I noticed, that was how much Edward meant to her. That was how much she loved him. That was how much he affected her. He was the only son and he took the whole spotlight in his life. Pretty much like me in my father's eyes. And I suddenly felt guilty for planning to tell Esme how bad Edward was when he was out of her sight.

She stood up to come towards us. "There's my son." She gave him a hug and he kissed her forehead.

"Bella!" She gave me a hug. I could only hold her tighter. It felt like Esme is starting to fill up a spot in my heart. She even kissed my cheek. And suddenly, I felt a surge of energy pass through my body. It wasn't an Alice kind of energy. It was enough to get me past the rest of my day.

"Esme." I greeted softly.

She smiled then pointed to the desk across the room. It was long enough to accompany two people at a time. Please tell me I'm not sharing that with Ed--

"I'm sorry. I only have one extra desk in here. Edward usually stays there but I think it's big enough to take you both." Esme started walking towards the desk with us trailing behind.

_Nevermind._

"I don't mind." I smiled at her. There. That's to take a part of your worries away. You don't have to think about getting another one.

"Thank you." She held on to Edward's arm. "Okay. Let's get to work."

Edward went to settle on one side. I put my computer bag and coffee on the other and turned to Esme. She was returning to her desk.

"Let's see...I need you to fax these to this number and then, get these mimeographed. That's it for now. I'll call you if there's more." She pointed to two different folders with sticky notes on them.

_Let the day begin._

I did what she asked me to. This is quite an easy job. Or maybe I shouldn't be thinking that yet. It's just my first day. It was a moment before she sent me away from my desk again. I was able to start up my computer and paper. I could see why she needed an assistant. She was on the phone the whole time I was there, just talking with different people. Or if not, she was on her computer, designing a floor plan. Heidi was entertaining people the whole time. Transferring phone calls and stuff. I had to do all the physical work.

Edward had put up his computer, too. Macbook Pro. So, Macbooks are on top of the list. I noticed. And I couldn't help but shift my eyes to what he was doing. He was watching someone get cut up. Was he a sadist of some sort?

I almost choked on my coffee when the camera zoomed in.

He turned his chair around to face me. "Are you alright?"

I put down the almost empty cup. "Yeah. I, uh, I just...I saw what you were watching."

He looked back on his screen. "Oh. I'm sorry." He closed the window. "It's for med-school."

Oh. So, no sadist mentality, then? That's good.

"Cool." I murmured then went back to my homework. What's so cool about that? I mean, I almost choked on my coffee for christsakes! Something's wrong with me...

Edward bought dinner for us, three...him, Esme and me. Esme loved him more for it. I think I softened to him even more. I'm thinking that maybe it was just the alcohol that ran through both our veins that made that night happen. I'm starting to be convinced. He doesn't seem to be that guy. I don't understand, though, how a guy like him could go out with a girl like Tanya.

Esme called me for another round of work, thank god, I'm almost done with my paper. I just need one more paragraph. And then I was able to finish it after that one round. Esme let me print it here. And then I lost track of time. Esme was going to leave already and the place was set to close in about thirty minutes. Edward brought Esme to the parking lot and was bound to return any time to get his stuff and to go home. I've packed up my stuff already. But I was feeling a whole lot tired and I just couldn't stop myself from putting my arm on the desk and resting my forehead on it. I haven't even texted Alice.

I groaned and then I fell asleep. I didn't mean to, though.

"Bella," Somebody was waking me up. "Come on, time to go home."

I was to sleepy to move. "I already called Jasper to come and get you."

Heidi called Jasper?

"Come on, Bella. Or else I'm going to have to carry you." The voice whispered.

Heidi was going to carry me? Was she crazy?

My eyes fluttered open and I sat up straight groggily.

Nope. It wasn't Heidi.

I stood up and took my bag. But it wasn't there. What the hell?

"I've got it." He said.

"Thanks." I headed for the door. But I stepped on my foot and I expected myself to fall flat on my face but Edward caught me. _That_ woke me up.

His hands wrapped around my waist, holding me back from the fall. He turned me around in his arms. My eyes must be wide as saucers now. I could feel strands of my hair fall down on my face. I was panting. He tucked my hair behind my ears and lifted my chin so that I was facing his glorious face rather than his chest.

_Okay, fine. I felt safer in his arms. Oh god! This can't be happening._

"You okay?" His eyebrows scrunched up.

I nodded and moved away from his grip. I was more alert this time, so I was able to make it to the front door safely. Heidi was just packing up and smoothing out stuff. She was about to close this place up.

"Bye Heidi." I said as I passed by her.

"Bye." She said.

Alice turned up rather than Jasper. Edward brought me to her. He even opened the door for me.

_What a gentleman! What? Last time I checked, he was nowhere close to that trait._

"Thank you, Edward." Alice called from the driver side as I plopped myself on the passenger seat. Edward gently placed my bag on my lap before he closed the door. Alice rolled down the window.

"Goodnight, Bella. Goodnight, Alice." He said.

I gave him a small smile and said, "Goodnight."

Alice cheerfully gave him a goodnight greeting as well.

_Maybe, he isn't so bad after all._

"So...what's up? Anything interesting happened today?" Alice started to drive.

I watched as Edward disappeared into the road.

"Nope." I shrugged.

"Come on. I can tell." She glanced at me.

"Really, Al. Nothing happened. Unless you consider falling asleep on the desk, interesting." I moved my bag to the floor.

"Fine. But seriously, Bella. You don't look so good." She shook her head.

"I'm completely fine." I told her.

She shrugged it off anyway. She dropped me off at home, gave Jasper a kiss then headed off to her home.

"Bella," He called me as I turned around.

"Yes?" I looked at him.

"Are you okay? Edward had to call..." He trailed off.

"Yep. I'm fine, Jazz. Don't worry. I just fell asleep." I shrugged.

He rubbed my shoulder then pulled me in for a hug. "You alone with Edward isn't exactly the best scene, Bella. And him, calling tonight...made us all worried. Even Emmett."

"I know, I know. Besides, Heidi was there. We weren't exactly alone." I told him.

He held me at his side as we entered the house. Emmett came running to us.

"Isobello! Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yes." I couldn't help but smile.

"Did he touch you? I swear to god, if he did..." Emmett cracked his knuckles.

"Hey. Don't hate him too much. We weren't drunk and he's not that bad, I guess. I mean he called you to pick me up, right?" I told them both.

I looked at them and they had scrunched up faces.

I chuckled. "He cares." He does. That was thrice now. First, he served me food last night and tonight. And now, he called Jasper to fetch me. Why didn't he just bring me home, anyway? He could've. But I guess, he didn't. Maybe he wanted to earn back the people's trust? Maybe...

They were dumbfounded and I just had to laugh louder.

I quickly went up, excited to put this day to rest. I took a quick refreshing bath. I was running out of normal clothes. I have to tell Dorota to bring these to the cleaners. I rummaged through the box for something to wear. There were a pair of blue shorts, but it looked like it was an undergarment, and a tank top. The shorts fit tight. I really feel like this is an underwear because it was short, too. I reached for the back to read the label. It said, "Girl Short". So it was an underwear. I rummaged through the box even more but there was nothing else that felt as comfortable, so I decided to go with it.

Someone knocked on the door and I quickly hid my body underneath the covers. If Jazz and Em saw me like this. They will tease me to hell!

Luckily, it wasn't them.

"Miss Bella. There's a phone call for you." Dorota entered the room.

"Oh really? Is it my dad? It's quite late." I asked her. She picked up the phone on my bedside table and shrugged. "Thank you, anyways."

"Goodnight, miss Bella." She closed the door behind her.

"Hello?" I greeted through the phone.

"Bella?" My dad wasn't English.

"Edward?" I asked, a little shocked.

I could hear him chuckle, "I just needed to make sure you got home safe."

Seriously? Checking up on me? Who is he kidding? Or maybe he was on a bet.

"Really?" I asked him. "Well, I'm okay. Thank you."

"Whew. That's good. Well, I shouldn't be holding you back from sleep. You need it badly. Goodnight, Bella." He said.

"Goodnight, Edward." I told him before I hung up.

Well, that was new. I had a hard time sleeping though. This is going to kill me tomorrow. Again. I can feel a routine coming. Let's give it a week.


	12. Chapter 12

**How To Become A Girl**

**Chapter Twelve**

Tuesday. 4 more days and it's free-time! I can't wait. I had woken up late today and I had less time to get ready. I searched through the 'magnificent box' for something for me. I don't think dresses are my daily thing. Cargo pants? Awesome. I just hope this thing would give me something like...a tanktop? Not really. I searched for something else. A white tanktop? Hell! I just wore one to bed! I almost scattered all the clothes in there on the floor. Damn white tanktop over a black bra! Like I have a choice. Yeah, how about dresses? I said no to that. I put on my trusty Chucks and zipped myself up in a Navy Blue hoodie. Tying my hair up on the way down to the door.

I talked to Dorota in a rush about my clothes needing to go to the cleaners. She had a dumbfounded look on her face which made me think that she probably didn't understand what I was saying. But I really had to go to school, now. Jasper had asked his driver to drive me to school. They leave earlier, now. So, I left without eating breakfast and I sort of regretted that, given that the day was slow again. Slow day plus no breakfast isn't exactly a good combination. Oh and add there, no sleep. Big no-no. Thank god, the driver was fast. I only had about 10 minutes left to get myself prepared for class. I sat in each and every discussion, counting the time I had left before I leave this place for work, again. I don't even know why I do that. Lunch was pretty much an occupied time for me. I had to talk to my professors for some school stuff. I had no time to eat lunch. I clutched my empty tummy during my next class. Surely, I'm not going to die from hunger, am I?

I was practically running out of the building, praying not to bump into somebody. Thank god, I didn't. Like literally, thank God! Then a voice called out my name from the bottom of the steps of the building.

_Shit!_

I pretended not to notice him. Good thing, he was sitting at the far end. He can't be doing this. So, I decided to turn left, away from him. Why was I resenting the idea again? I didn't know. Honestly, I didn't know much about myself anymore.

"Wait." He grabbed my arm to whip me around.

_Damn!_

"Edward." I looked up to him seriously.

Why was I so hot headed about this? Must be the no food, no sleep and slow day. It's eating me up!

"Would you let me drive you to work? I kind of thought about yesterday and how we arrived together. I was just hoping..." He ran his hands through his hair.

More students were exiting the building and they seem to look at us, suprisingly.

"Um..." I looked behind him. Some were staring. Anything to get me out of their sight, anything to get me out of this heat. I needed to remove this hoodie. "Sure."

We started walking to his car and I took off my hoodie. Why did it have to be so hot today? This is not making me any better. However, the thought of not having to do any homework tonight sent a little smile to my lips.

The drive was quiet and I concluded that Edward was naturally a quiet guy. Which makes me wonder how it goes with Tanya. I remember her speech that night. She talks endlessly.

We arrived at the office. Same greetings were made. Esme hugged and kissed me on the cheek again. And she was happy we were early. I did my job, pushing away the thought of home. My bed and lots of food. During my free time, I updated my facebook page. I didn't know what to do with it, actually. I also tried speaking but I seem to lack energy for that. This is just dragging. The whole day seems dragging. Ugh.

I was quiet the whole time in the office. Then I think, I may have heard a rather private conversation.

"Tanya? Tanya? You're bringing Tanya to dinner on Friday. Our family dinner! I thought we've already talked about this." Esme was shouting.

"Mom. She's my girlfriend." Edward said so calmly.

"Girlfriend? Is she really your girlfriend, Edward? Or just somebody you just fuck around?" Esme spat back at him "I'm sorry. There was no other better term for it."

My heart squeezed in my chest a little. Tanya was Edward's girlfriend and I'm the somebody he fucked around. Well, once. No. I'm not eavesdropping. It's not easy to avoid listening to it. I'm inside the water-closet and they're right outside the door. Clearly, exiting this room isn't exactly a good idea.

He didn't reply back.

"You know she steals all the family jewelries. You know she's using you because of your money. You know she's using you because of your fame. You know that so well." Her voice was pained.

He still didn't answer back.

"Are you still hanging out with James and Victoria?" Was she crying?

"I did. Once. Friday night. No drinks. No smokes. No drugs." His voice was firm. Slightly angered.

She breathed a sigh of relief. "I just hope you're making the right decision of bringing her to the house. You know how much your father and I dislike her."

"That's why, I'm bringing her. Because I'm still hoping for that day that you'll receive her for me." He was fighting for that horrid bitch. And I thought he wasn't that bad.

"We tried, Edward. She's not good for you." Esme said her last line before I heard her heels click and clack on the floor, slowly disappearing.

Well. A mother knows best. Hell! What do I know? I've never had a mother. Ouch, touchy.

I heard his footsteps start off and disappear, too. I opened the door and checked the vicinity. Safe. I started to walk to back to Esme's office. Good thing, Heidi had all her attention on some caller. She didn't even notice me walk out of the same area that Edward and Esme had.

I saw Esme massaging her temples again when I entered the room. I had to hold back the urge to go over to her and hug her. I wanted to tell her that I hate Tanya, too. I wanted to kiss her cheek. I wanted to call her mom. And I'd only known the woman for days!

I gave her a small smile when she looked up to me as I walked back to my desk. Edward was gone. But his stuff are still here. Must've gone out to get something. Esme asked me to get some stuff done again. When I was done, I went back to my desk again then I realized, I really didn't have anything to do. I thought that maybe homeworks are good in a way. I know, crazy me, for thinking about it, right? So, since I was bored, I did what most bored people did. Play with my photobooth app.

A part of me was telling me, "That's pathetic." But hey, it entertains. I held back my laughs as I switched through the different screens. I could totally make some alien themed video here! I was doing faces to make myself look normal in a distorted screen. I was laughing out loud in my head. I love the mirror screen, by the way. It always sends me into a fit of giggles. Seriously, Esme needs to ask me to do something or I wouldn't be able to pull myself from here.

Then someone laughed behind me. I froze and quickly closed the program.

"Why'd you close it? I like that thing!" He was still laughing.

I think I may have turned really red now.

"I bought dinner." He pointed his head towards the pantry. I couldn't resist. I stood up and Esme was gone. Did she see me with my freaky faces? Oh crap. I'm going to die if she did.

Esme was there in the pantry helping herself with her own dinner. Edward pointed to the bag of Mcdonald's. I guess, she didn't want the same greasy stuff that I'll be enjoying. I took a seat and he took his across mine. He gave me a burger and a coke and fries. _Woohoo! Finally! Damn._

"You look so hungry that I'm thinking about running away with Esme from you." He laughed and Esme joined in.

"Ha! Yeah, I should. After all, I missed breakfast and lunch." I unwrapped my burger halfway and took a bite.

"And I'm guessing, you had no sleep." Edward's eyebrows rose.

I nodded.

"And you let me let you do the work? That makes me an evil mother!" Esme's hands flew around. An evil mother? She's my boss and I'm paid to do stuff! Did she just consider me as a daughter? I think my heart just jumped!

I swallowed and chuckled, "I'm fine. As long as I'm not yet in the hospital, I'm fine."

Edward laughed and Esme, too. Yay me! Clown of the office.

"I feel so bad about this." Esme's hand went to her forehead.

"Esme, it's okay." I shrugged.

"No. I should make it up to you." Edward was holding back a laugh at Esme.

I turned to him with wide eyes.

"She's really like that." He chuckled.

I took another fry to munch on.

"How about you join us for dinner on Friday?" Her eyes flickered to Edward then back to me, giving me a grin like she just had the best plan.

_Was she talking about their family dinner? Dinner only happens once a night, right? Well, unless you're Emmett._

Edward's eyes widened and dropped.

I pretended not to know. "Dinner on Friday?"

"Yes. It's usually a family dinner but there have been some changes." She explained.

"I, uh, I..." Edward's eyes flashed to me as I stammered. "It's _your_ family dinner. The three of you, Cullens, should be spending it together. Just you, guys." I hope he notice that I wanted him to feel guilty. Plus, I don't want to be where Tanya is. I don't think I can hold myself back.

"Please, Bella." Was she pleading?

Edward wasn't going against her. He softened, even. What the--?

I looked between the two of them. "Okay."

She clapped her hands. I wonder if my mom would do that, too, if she were alive.

"We can make dinner!" She smiled at me.

"I love making dinner. It brings back some familiarity. Brings back home." I smiled at her. I wonder if she saw the hint of sadness in it. How much I missed my dad. How much I wished I had a mother.

We continued to eat. Edward was quiet. Esme was quiet. I was quiet. Reminds me of normal dinner in Forks. I eased up to that. Esme left the room, earlier than Edward and I. She had to take a call. I wanted to ask Edward about her excitement over me joining their _family_ dinner. I wanted to ask him why he didn't think that family dinners are strictly family, only. But I thought it wasn't the best idea to do that yet. We cleaned up the table and I couldn't handle it anymore. I had to.

"Edward?" I started as I collected the trash."Why...? How come you didn't stop Esme from inviting me?"

"Didn't you want to join us for dinner?" He asked me back.

"I do want to join you. But...shouldn't it be like strictly immediate family only? It is your family dinner. If I get to have dinner with my whole family, I'd take it anytime." I'd give anything for me, Renee and Charlie to have dinner together.

"I don't know, ever since she saw you...she's been...reminded of her daughter. She said she...wants a daughter like you." He was unsure if he should tell me.

"Wait. You have a sister?" I asked, wide-eyed, shocked.

"Had." His voice lowered into a whisper. "She died at the age of two, two years ago. In a car crash. With my mother. She thinks it's her fault sometimes. When Irina haunts Esme in her dreams. She was the most adorable little girl, I've ever seen." He was about to cry.

And then bam! I just hugged him. I felt a connection instantly between us. We all have lost really close family members in our lives. I think I may know how it feels. But I wasn't sure that I was enough to fill that spot for her, for them. Especially for Edward. I mean, could I be his "sister" knowing that something had happened between us? His arms tightened around my waist and I heard him let out a sob.

"It's going to be alright." I told him.

"I know." He sighed. "One day. It is."

I pulled away and smiled at him before heading for the door. We finished up with little errands and Esme's smile won't leave her face. I felt genuinely happy that somehow, I caused that smile. Edward, like yesterday, brought Esme to her car. And just like yesterday, I fell asleep again on the table.

A part of me woke myself up consciously. I wonder what time is it. Wait. Didn't I fall asleep in the office?

"Bella?" A chirpy voice greeted me.

"Alice?" I opened my eyes and I saw that I was in her car already.

"Hey, Bella." Rose greeted from the passenger.

"Hey, Rose." I greeted her lazily. "How'd I get here?"

"Edward kind of...carried you. You're beat, too beat. You didn't even open an eye when he put you down there." Alice was giggling.

"He carried me?" I finally sat up, surprised.

"Yeah. He even said you were light as a feather!" Rose was giggling, too.

"Wow. Thanks." I said sarcastically.

"So. What's up?" Alice asked.

"I don't know. I was invited to join the Cullens' family dinner on Friday." I decided not to say the bit part that Tanya would be there. I felt like it wasn't mine to say.

"Did you say yes?" Alice was a bit surprised, maybe?

"Yeah. I couldn't say no to Esme." I shrugged.

"Well that's something." She murmured and I let it go. I wanted to go back to sleep but somehow, when I replayed the whole day in my head, it kept me awake. Like it pulsated the energy I needed.

They dropped me off again. Seriously, this is a routine. They kissed whoever goodnight. I was too sleepy to note. I just strode past everything and into my room. I took a bath and I saw my clean clothes neatly folded and sorted in the walk-in closet. All my clothes. Including the ones in the box! I guess, Dorota understood after all, and more!

There were...my shirts, my jeans, my tank tops, my other tops, my pants, my underwear, my shorts, my dresses...my dresses? Since when? Oh...Right. Alice.

I took a pair of loose drawers and a loose shirt and I felt like home. It felt all too familiar that I started crying. But then, I fell asleep earlier and faster this time. No toss and turn and that felt good for a while.

* * *

**I just edited some sentences that seemed a little wrong. :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**How To Become A Girl**

**Chapter Thirteen**

Wednesday. Early day. I was able to have breakfast and go to school with Em and Jazz. But I had counted the time just the same. And I was back to my normal clothes. My favorite loose jeans and shirt. I don't think I could ever go on with life without them. And just as usual, I had lunch alone. And then we had a project in which we were to be paired up randomly. My partner was Riley Stewart and he was a native. Riley was okay. He had the looks. He had strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes. Seriously, I think everybody here had blue eyes except for Edward and Esme. Riley kept it professional with us. So, I was thankful for that. Until...

"So, basically, we're just given a room to design together. For...a couple?" He was reading the the booklet that the professor distributed.

"Yeah." I nodded. I shifted the computer bag to my other shoulder.

"Let me carry that for you." He took it from my already stiff shoulder and transferred it to his.

"Thanks." Why the hell was I blushing?

"No problem." He gave me a grin. And then continued on to his rant about how he wanted to design the room.

We walked out of the building and I saw Edward leaning on the stair railing. Riley's back was facing him. His eyes narrowed for a while then returned to normal. He ran his hand through his hair. And smiled that beautiful crooked smile.

"Earth to Bella?" Riley called. He turned around but Edward had dropped his head and pretended that he didn't know me.

"Sorry?" I tried to catch his eye again.

"I was just asking if you wanted to maybe hang out with me? On Saturday? I know this awesome place where we can have picnic and stuff." He slouched a little to meet my gaze.

"Um...Sure." I shifted my focus on Riley and smiled at him.

"Alright. Cool. I'll see you tomorrow, Bella." He gave me back my bag and it felt even heavier when I slinged it back around my shoulder. I watched him walk away.

Edward walked closer, closing the distance between us. He was grinning like he was holding back a laugh. He took my bag from me. Then he finally laughed.

"What's so funny?" I asked him.

"Your face." He trailed off his laughter. "Man! I wonder what the guy told you."

"He...uh...He asked me out, I think." I shrugged and turned to the direction he started walking.

"What do you mean you think?" He looked at me. Was he shocked? _Well, sorry, mister, I've never been to that stage. We skipped that, remember?_

"I mean, I've never been asked out before. So I can't really tell if he was just being friendly or he sees something he wants." I shrugged.

"Seriously, Bella? Nobody have asked you out? Ever? Even in highschool?" He was shaking his head in disbelief.

Wasn't it believable?

"Well, obviously!" I said, pretty much annoyed.

He was quiet. What was wrong with this guy? Does he think that giving the silence treatment would make women feel better? Well, honestly, sometimes it would. But in conversations like this, I don't think he should. Especially his conversation yesterday with Esme. He didn't answer twice. And she was his mother! Maybe he shelled up. Ha! Coward. I didn't say anything. I wanted him to say something. To learn to stand up for himself. Yesterday, if he really loved Tanya (seriously?) then he should've told that to his mother. He should've fought for them. But he didn't and I wanted him to learn how to.

"Edward..." I called him in a tone.

"What?" He unlocked his Volvo and we rode in.

"Say something. Ask or whatever. You can't leave it at that." I told him.

"I'm sorry." He put his forehead on the steering wheel then turned his head to face me.

"You have to stand up for yourself." I looked at him. "You can't always give the silent treatment."

He sighed and sat up. He put the key to the ignition and started the car. "Can we talk about something else?"

"Fine." I told him.

"Okay...where are you going for your date?" He asked. Of all the things!

"Um. I don't know. Somewhere where we can have picnic and stuff." I shrugged. Riley didn't elaborate much.

"Ah. Wait. Just to be sure, did you eat breakfast?" He glanced at me as he drove.

I nodded in response.

"Lunch?" He glanced again.

I nodded again.

He drove quietly and I let myself fall into a deep slumber. I had dreamt about Riley...and Edward. I was pretty sure it was a dream because we were dancing. And heaven knows, I can't dance! They were passing me back and forth. But whenever, I landed in Edward's arms, it was always so heated up. I wondered how I didn't tire during the dance. We were dancing for so long. Until, I landed one last time in Edward's arms and I was never passed back to Riley.

Edward woke me up and I thought we were still dancing. He lifted my body and I laughed as I realized that I was back on Earth.

"Okay. I'll certainly classify you as weird in my book. Come on. Time for work." He carried my bag and I got out of the car. We walked to the office quietly but this time, we weren't early nor late. Does it mean, he let me sleep more for a while? Aww...How swee-. No.

Esme welcomed us just the same and she keeps singing a happy tune about Friday. She seemed to be so excited. Work felt routinal as well. Send this, send that. Copy this, copy that. File this, file that. And I was getting a hang of it. During my free time, I studied the picture of the room given to us and I researched for classic couple themes. Romantic aura was needed. I also updated my facebook. And I chatted with Edward. We were chatting. What an interesting development! We chatted about music, books, college...friends.

I learned that the two other people he had hung out in the bar with was Victoria and James. When he said James, though, he seemed to have hatred in his voice. And that he was a loner. Yep. You got that right. Edward Cullen is a loner. He's got no friends. Poor boy. Seriously, I felt sorry for him so I decided to invite him over to the house sometime.

He likes rock music and so did I! Especially old rock, like The Beatles, The Kinks, The Rolling Stones...Apparently, those are the only tunes I grew up with. My father loved them. But I do have a new favorite band, Parachute and I let him listen to them and he liked it. We both like reading. I like reading anything, as long as I feel the pull to read it. He likes the classics and that was the reason that he was in the library when I saw him.

So, I therefore conclude, that we are one and the same, well, almost. Like twins. Like somehow, we were always on the same page, same line of thought.

Even, through dinner, we talked. I think this is the longest talk I've had ever. Esme joined us a little later. She was telling stories about Edward's childhood and I swear to god, Edward was blushing all the while.

She said this one story where Edward had a new puppy before and instead of Edward chasing the puppy, it was the puppy chasing Edward around the lawn until Carlisle took the puppy away. I thought it was adorable!

After dinner, Esme reminded me of Friday's dinner. That she will be closing earlier than usual so we could start on dinner, sooner. And then we returned back to work. We finished up the last stuff for the day and then Heidi closed the place up. I didn't fall asleep, tonight. Edward still walked me to Alice's car before he left, though.

Rosalie was in a rush because Alice had finally let her drive the Porsche. Alice was in the passenger, shaking her head before she shifted her attention to me.

"So. Anything new?" Alice asked just as usual.

"Jeez, Al. I feel like some celebrity with the way you ask about my day all the time." I laughed.

"Sorry. Your life seems to be more interesting than mine and Rosalie's." She turned around to face me.

"Okay, okay. Well...Riley, a guy from school asked me to hang out with him on Saturday." I told her.

"Wait. Hunky Riley Stewart?" Her eyes grew wide. Rosalie glanced at me.

"I think his name is just Riley Stewart." I giggled. "But yeah. He's my partner for the project."

"Oh my god, Bella! He's like so hot!" She rolled her eyes and grinned. And then...wait for it...squeeeeaaallll!

Rosalie was squealing, too. And then we ended up laughing. Okay, so, apparently, he's some hot shot and they feel like I should look better around him. They literally locked up all my baggy clothes when we got back to the house. The took the key. And I felt like having a breakdown. Hell! I didn't even know today would be the last day that I would be able to wear _my_ clothes. They'd also labeled the clothes I'm going to wear for the rest of the week. They even told Dorota to make sure I wear these stuff. Jesus! I think that's going overboard. But with Rose and Al combined, you should know that you'll lose no matter what. They didn't even put to mind that I have a good punch.

Soon, we were lying on my bed. I was fresh out of the shower and they were tired. So we decided to lounge around for a while. It was almost midnight and they should be going home or they'll be staying here for the night.

The phone rang and Rosalie raced to answer it. "Hell-o?"

"Who is this?" Rose asked the caller and Al and I, both, looked at her. "I'm sorry, who were you looking for again?...Bella? You're looking for Bella?...Why are you looking for her? Do you need-"

I pulled the phone from Rose and answered it. "It's Bella."

"Oh, hey, Bella. It's Edward." I glanced at Rose and Al before I hopped off the bed to hide in the closet.

"Hey. I'm sorry about Rose. She's a little..." I looked for the words.

"No. That's okay." I heard his chuckle.

"So...why'd you call?" I asked him.

"I don't know. I...uh...I don't know, actually." He stammered.

"Just say it, Edward. Get it off your chest." I told him.

I heard him sigh once before he started, "I just couldn't take my mind off yesterday's conversation. I...Crap. I better just tell you." He sighed again. "Three years ago, I still had a bestfriend. And I was happy. Artificially, though."

Artificially? What the-? Did he...? I continued to listen.

"James was always curious. And...he liked discovering things. First, we discovered alcohol. And then it got worse over time. Then it turned to cigarettes. Then he learned how to have sex. Then it became drugs. All these he shared them with me. I would do what he would do, all the time. Even if I knew it was wrong. He was my bestfriend and he wanted to have fun. There's nothing wrong with wanting to having fun, was there? Until I learned that my mom was pregnant. I tried to stop. But when you're in it, it's not easy to go back. But I tried and Esme and Carlisle hated me for a time..."

"They didn't want me to get near Irina and she was my little sister! I wanted to hold her, too. But they hated me. And then the accident happened and I completely stopped. I stopped everything, even seeing James. And it hurt him..."

"Then _he_ started hating me. I've been trying my best to get him back on track. To be the same guy that I've known for years. That's how I met Tanya. He was Tanya's friend. Tanya...wanted me. And I felt like I haven't been wanted that way for so long. So I asked her to be my girlfriend. And we're together now." I could hear a mix of emotions in his voice. Relief? Pain? Fear? Anger? Regret?

"I wanted to bring her to the family dinner on Friday. But my mom hated me for it. I can't even bring to imagine how my dad would feel. Honestly, I don't even know if I still feel anything for her..I'm sorry. I just really had to let it out of my head."

"No, no, no. Don't apologize. It's fine." I smiled. What the? He's not here...

"I just feel close to you, Bella. Like..." He trailed off.

"Yeah. I get that feeling with you, too. I'm too comfortable to be around with, no?" I chuckled.

"Yeah. Oh crap. I'm sorry for keeping you awake."

"No. It's fine."

"I'm so sorry, Bella. You should go to sleep." His voice sounded lighter.

"You should, too." I giggled. Oh God! What? I giggled? "Fine. I'll say it, first. Goodnight, Edward."

"Okay. Goodnight, Bella. Thanks. For being there. Sleep well." He hung up.

I let out a long breath and buried my face in my hands. Oh crap. Rose and Al will kill me! I opened the door of the closet and they were there tapping their feet on the carpet. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit!

"I, uh..." My eyes flickered between them.

"So...what did Edward need from you?" Rosalie asked icily. They still hate him.

"He just needed to talk. Look, guys. We're fine, okay? We don't hate each other like before. Well, at least, I don't hate him anymore. He's not the guy I met at the party. He's completely different and I think it's just the alcohol that took over him that night." Honestly, I've put that night to rest in the graveyard. It doesn't need mourning over anymore.

Alice shrugged. "Fine. Whatever you say. Just be careful, Bella."

So they've decided to spend the night here. I wonder what Jazz and Em would say if they saw them cuddled up in bed with me. I smiled cheekily. I can't wait for the morning!


	14. Chapter 14

**How To Become A Girl**

**Chapter Fourteen**

Screams served as my alarm clock this morning. Apparently, Jazz and Em did eventually find out that their girlfriends cuddled with me in bed rather than with them. They, like, literally pulled them off my bed! I had on a smirk when I woke up. And I was laughing as I watched them wrestle each other. Em won over Rosalie in no time but Alice seemed to be tougher. She was giving Jasper some punches on his biceps. Finally, she gave up and Jazz threw her over his shoulder. But it was earlier than my normal wake-up time. So, I decided to go back to sleep. But a large pillow hit my head.

"Ow. What the hell?" I turned around to see Emmett and Jasper with mischievous looks on their faces. "Oh shit!" I rolled of the bed and ran out of the room. I hurried down the stairs and Rosalie and Alice were laughing. Seriously? They chased me out of bed? I stood behind the kitchen counter and I panted. My hair was like a haystack. Rose and Al kissed my cheek before going back to their respective houses. Em and Jazz gave them they're kisses and faced me again.

"Oh Bella...!" Emmett sang.

"What?" I looked at him.

He walked into the kitchen and took a carton of milk from the fridge. Pouring some into a glass. "Nothin'." He was grinning widely and I knew what was coming.

I turned around and Jasper threw me over his shoulder. _Too late!_ He ran to the pool and I was screaming 'No!' over and over again. But still, he threw me in. The water felt cold and it certainly woke up every last dead nerve in my body.

"That's for keepin' our darlings to yourself." Jasper raised his brow and ran away with Emmett before I splashed half the water in the pool at them.

The memories of last month's party came crashing again and I found myself pushing further, trying to remember what I couldn't. I suddenly felt alone. I looked around the pool. Hoping somebody would come and join me. But no one did. I shook my head and returned to reality. _Why so emotional, Bella? Hell! I don't know!_

I climbed up the stairs, soaking wet. And I felt sorry for Dorota because she has to clean up the water trail I left behind. Especially on the carpets. I rushed to my shower, shivering. I took a quick bath, eager to dry myself, bagged the wet clothes and faced my closet. I groaned as I recalled last night's scenes. _Okay, okay...what did Alice prepare for me today_. The clothes were easy to find. They had day labels on them. There were only four bags. _Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday_. I took the Thursday clothes' bag and opened it. I groaned. Alice had me put on white pants, they were comfortable anyway, so, I don't really mind. But the shirt! It was olive green and I felt naked because it was so light and tight fitting. Like, it hung to my skin and meshed with it so perfectly. I looked for my shoes and my chucks were gone! Ugh! Damn Alice...and Rose! I searched for the shoes that supposed to come along with the look. Underneath, where the clothes' bag was placed was a pair of brown strappy, peep-toed, felt-like, high heeled shoes. I searched for a pair of anything flat in the shoe closet and there was none. Was Alice crazy? I feel like a rookie thrown into a sea of generals. I groaned as I put them on, too.

Thursday was nothing that special, really. Just, Riley joining me for lunch and complimenting my look. I blushed at that and said thanks. We decided about the floor plan of the room. Lighting and color schemes for today. He walked me out just the same and reminded me about Saturday. My whole heart doesn't seem to want to be in it. I wanted to sleep it off so badly but I also didn't want to ditch Riley. I mean, yeah. He's decent and gorgeous but I just didn't feel it between us if that's what he wanted. It's going to be so bad admitting it to him.

Edward stood again, leaning at the railing. I decided to introduce him to Riley anyway. They might end up as good friends.

"Edward, this is Riley Stewart. Riley, this is Edward Cullen." I played with the apple in my hand. Tilting my head to Edward.

Edward glared at him. What the crap is his problem?

Riley extended a hand and Edward shook it firmly. "Pleasure to meet you."

"Edward..." I called his name when he didn't say anything.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Riley. It's...nice to meet you." He shoved his hands back into his pocket.

I smiled at Riley. "Okay. We have to go now."

"Oh, right. I'll see you tomorrow, Bella. I'll meet you at Starbucks. 10 A.M." He tried handing me my bag back but Edward took it from him. What the hell?

Riley huffed in annoyance. Then he bent down and kissed me on the cheek before going away. I saw Edward look away from the sweet act. The kiss felt wrong and I discreetly tried removing the lingering trace of it on my cheek. Edward chuckled at my disgust.

I glared at him. "We're not yet done. What was that about?"

"What about?" He looked back at me.

"All the fluff." I glared at him again. "You disappointed the boy."

"Boy? Is he that young?" He asked, quite amazed.

"He's 19. Just a year older than me." I shrugged.

He laughed. "You address him like he's six! I wonder what you'll address me like. An old man?"

"I never asked. How old are you?" I squinted through the sunlight that made his hair shine like copper and his eyes even more greenish.

"Twenty-two?" He said it like he was asking.

"What? You're not sure?" I looked at him surprised. We got to his car by this time and we started settling in and driving off.

"I am." He laughed. "I'm 22. Old, huh?" His eyebrows raised.

"No. I don't think that's old." I shrugged. I brushed the apple across my lips.

"Good." His eyes landed at the apple and he took it. He crunched a bite away.

"Hey! That's my apple!" My voice rose.

"It look frustrated! It keeps anticipating it's death but you never put it in your mouth!" He passed it back to me as he swallowed.

I just laughed at him. Apples die. That's what I learned from Edward today!

So, we got to the office and it was the same. Esme noticed my attire and Edward raised a brow at me. I told them Alice is crazy. Work went well. Just the same. Esme has now reached the peak of her excitement. She was so excited for tomorrow and I could tell that she and Alice would go together so well. Dinner was the same. Chat, chat, chat. And I was waiting for Edward to talk about whatever we talked about. I didn't want to bring it up. He didn't either. So, I think he didn't want to talk about it. And then the days left til Saturday elated me and at the same time made me unsatisfied. Although, Riley seems nice enough to ask me. So, fine. I won't ditch.

Alice and Rose didn't bother me when we got home. They let me go to rest for the night. I'm guessing, I look that bad, really. My morning was bad. I felt sore. Plus, Alice has dressed me up in a violet dress that was tied around my neck. She left a note, "Goodluck with dinner!". And she let me wear violet, felt-like, closed toe, heels. She is really killing me. Well, if I die before tomorrow's date, I think I'll love her for it anyway.

I got to school and Riley noticed what I was wearing. He wrapped an arm around my waist at one point and to me, it felt so awkward. Seriously, I didn't really like him like that. He was going way to fast, in my opinion. But me? I didn't really know anything. And hell! To be wanted this way felt so...new, genuine. He and Edward had a glaring exchange again and I seriously think he's jealous. Ha! Edward is jealous? What? Seriously? I just had to laugh internally. Riley reminded me again about tomorrow and kissed me on the cheek. The moment I turned around, I removed the trace again. And Edward laughed at me again.

He stopped in front of the building, dropping me off?

"Aren't you coming along?" I tilted my head towards the office.

He just smiled at me, "I have to get Tanya. She's going to kill me if I don't go there. Like literally."

"Ha! Then don't go there. So that you'll die and I'll meet you in heaven when Riley kills me tomorrow." My head dropped.

"Why is he going to kill you tomorrow?" He looked at me with...concern?

"Because I'm planning to ditch." I shrugged my shoulders. "I really want to sleep!"

He laughed at me and shook his head. The thought of the office without that laugh, without Edward felt dull. Quiet and gray. I will miss him. I tightened my grip on the door handle. He caught my hand as I turned around to get off. His hand in mine felt...right. Somehow. It blazed but it felt nice. I felt my insides jump at the contact.

"Hey. I'll see you, tonight, okay?" His voice was smooth. Comforting.

I looked back at him, blushing. "Yeah. Bye." I gave him one quick wave before I ran to the office, praying that somehow, time would fastforward to later. And it did, because Esme was so excited we left work at around 5. She had a smile so big, I couldn't ruin the fun for her by being so glum. So, I went with her flow.

We arrived to their house and, boy, it was huge. Well, they are rich. It was almost like the JW palace, only this had a more sophisticated design. Esme gave me a quick tour before we went to the kitchen to start cooking dinner. Tonight's menu was Chicken Enchiladas and Mushroom Raviolis. I noticed that Edward _had_ a room in here. Does that mean he moved away? Maybe, that explains why he goes home alone. Because maybe, this isn't where he lives anymore. The colors used for this house, mahogany brown, whites and greens made me feel like I'm back in Forks. And it was built in a magnificent design. Esme designed it, she told me. And I was amazed.

Carlisle arrived a little after us, hugging Esme from behind and giving her a peck on the lips. I felt like an intruder, having to see that. And then he turned his attention to me.

"Bella, welcome to our home." He smiled. I waited for his hand but instead, he pulled me in for a hug. I froze for a second before I softened into his hug. This is the first time, I really noticed Carlisle's voice. I could see where Edward got his accent.

"Mr. Cullen. It's nice to meet you again." I said as I pulled away.

"Please call me Carlisle. How can I help?" Carlisle looked at the messy counter.

"Well, you can chop those tomatoes." Esme smiled at him and he did as she ordered.

It felt nice having to spend time with the Cullens. It felt like family. Esme and Carlisle told stories about different things that would make me laugh everytime. I think my stomach hurts from laughing. By the time we were done, Edward and Tanya weren't here yet. So, I decided to use the toilet for a while. "Down the hall, second door to the right." Esme instructed. I thanked her and went well on my way. I took a leak and I washed my face. The thin sheet of sweat that's forming on my forehead is not nice. I dried myself with papertowel and released my ponytail. _Ahhh...That feels better_. I took a couple more seconds to neutralize my breathing. It's seemed to be rushed.

I went back to the dining and I saw Esme and Carlisle engaged in their own bubble. Then I saw Edward's messy hair and that fake, curly blonde hair seated beside each other. I heard a _ting_ of the dinnerware and Esme's eyes flashed to the face of the blonde, glaring scarily. "Let's wait until the rest of the guests have seated down, shall we?" Then her eyes flushed to me. "Speaking of, there she is."

I walked around the table to Esme side and took my seat there. I saw Tanya's eyes widen in amazement.

"I'm sorry, I'm late." I apologized to them, ignoring Tanya.

"No, it's fine." Esme said and took the platter of Chicken Enchiladas. She cut a piece for herself and Carlisle before passing it to me. I cut a small piece for me before I passed it to Edward. I think my appetite disappeared when I saw Tanya.

"Hey, Edward." I smiled at him.

"Bella. How was work?" He took the platter from me and cut himself a piece. He unmindedly passed the platter to Tanya, looking back at me.

"Oh, you know. The same." I shrugged as I took the bowl of Mushroom Raviolis from Esme. I put some on my plate before handing it to Edward.

"Ah. That's nice." He took it from my hands, his fingers grazing along mine and leaving a trail there.

"So, Bella. Would you like to come over for dinner every friday?" Esme turned to me. I looked at Edward and Carlisle. Carlisle was hopeful. He wanted me here. For Esme, maybe? With Edward, I wasn't sure if it was anger or excitement.

I stepped back a little. "I..." My eyes flickered between Edward and Carlisle again. Then to Esme. She wanted me here, too. And I couldn't resist her sweet aura. I might regret this but..."I guess."

Esme clapped her hands and planned next week's meals. Then she continued to talk to Carlisle. I started eating my food. It was just then that I realized that we've completely ignored Tanya. Even Edward! He was exchanging smiles with me and I've been holding back a laugh.

Then I noticed Tanya stand up. Maybe she's going to walk out! Or maybe not...She reached for the bowl between me and Esme and she "accidentally" tipped my glass and the liquid poured on my chest to my lap.

"Oops." She said in her nasal voice. _Seriously, I wanna punch her again._

_Not here, not here._

I swallowed whatever fuck, crap or shit that's about to escape my lips.

Edward rushed to my side to help me up. I shot a glare at Tanya who was now so shocked that Edward's on my side.

"It's okay. I'm fine. Thanks." I held on to Edward's hand as I stood up and cleaned myself with the table napkin.

"Edward, can you bring her to my room. Bella, find something to wear in there. I'm sorry if it's full of dresses. I'm quite dressy." Esme patted my hand before asking one of the helpers to clean up the mess.

Edward pulled my hand up the stairs and into Esme's room and into her closet. I swear big houses makes me feel like I'm in a maze. Esme was right. It is full of dresses. She only has formal trousers and pajamas. She doesn't have jeans! I grabbed a white dress without thinking. It was soft and light and it looked like it was something you wear on the beach. And it was short! It ended mid-thigh for me. But I wasn't such a bitch to search for something else. That closet's Esme's, not mine.

I met with Edward in Esme's room again. I pulled on my skirt, hoping that it would grow longer.

He laughed at me and said, "You look nice. Don't worry. Oh. And I'm sorry about that. Tanya's just really...".

I shook my head at him. "Stop apologizing for her."

We returned back to dinner and Edward and I were still exchanging smiles. I quite enjoyed it.

Tanya huffed and grabbed Edward's face, kissing him full on the lips. In front of us. Esme and Carlisle, especially.

I dropped my fork on my plate. "Woahkay. I think I've had enough for tonight. That was a lovely dinner. Thank you, Esme, Carlisle."

Edward pulled away from Tanya with a blush and a disgusted face. "What the hell, Tanya?" He said in a whisper.

Esme massaged her temples, leaning on the table and Carlisle shot Tanya a glare.

"I'm sorry, baby. I just wanted to kiss you so, _so_ bad." Was she trying to seduce him? In front of his parents? or was she trying to be funny? _I'd like to go with the latter one._

Edward buried his face in his hands and I shook my head.

"I'm really sorry about this, Bella. But I had a great time. Thank you. Come back next week, okay?" Esme huffed, kissed my cheek and went out of sight.

"Bella, really, it was a pleasure having you here. I'll see you, next week." Carlisle gave me a hug before following Esme.

I glared at Tanya. "What the fuck is your problem?" I spat at her. Then I turned to Edward. "I'm sorry, Edward. But I have to go. Please, just tell Esme, I had a great time."

I headed for the door. I felt anger burning in me. A strong one at that. It was something else, I think but I'll call it 'wrath'. I mean, how dare she have the guts to do that? And spill my drink on me! I wanted to run upstairs to Esme and Carlisle and tell them that it wasn't Edward's fault if they're going to put the blame on him. It wasn't Edward's fault. Tanya has some major problem.


	15. Chapter 15

**How To Become A Girl**

**Chapter Fifteen**

I took a cab back the the JW palace. Alice and Rosalie were peppering me with questions and I told them it didn't go so well. I told them Tanya was there and she created a big mess. I told them I've agreed to join them every Friday. Then they pushed my ass to bed, saying I needed to get my beauty sleep. _Beauty sleep?_ I tossed and turned in bed that night. Trying to push away that strong emotion. _Fucking emotions! _And then my cellphone rang. _Ugh. Seriously? Why did Charlie have to call now?_ I was already on the verge! I don't have so much time left to sleep! And I still have to go with that thing with Riley. I let myself miss the call. I sunk back into my bed. Then it rang again. _Alright, alright, alright. I'm coming._

"Hello?" I answered lazily. "Dad? Is something wrong?"

The person on the other line chuckled. "I'm not your father."

That British accent..."Carlisle?" I asked.

He laughed this time. "You really don't recognize me? Are you really that sleepy?"

Aaah. It's Edward. Ha! I am sleepy. "Edward?" I asked again.

"Yeah. I'm...right outside the gate. Your gate." He said.

Okay. What is he doing outside the gate?...Oh. Oh!

"Come on in. I'll meet you at the door. Tell them you're here for me. So that they won't wake Jazz up." I grabbed a robe to cover my new pajamas. Cue _eye roll_. Those boy cut panties and tanktops are my new pajamas. Sleepwear is the more appropriate word. I tied my hair up in a messy bun, splashed some water on my face to wake me up a little. Then I ran down the long staircase, ran across the living room, too, before I arrived at the huge door.

I opened it and stepped out. It was dark and I couldn't see Edward on the...could you really call this a porch? It's too huge to be a porch! I squinted my eyes to try to see through the darkness. There was so little light coming from the inside of the house. Ugh. Damn it! Why didn't I turn on the porch lights? Stupid, stupid! Why was I in a hurry anyway? Just then he stepped in front of me, letting the light hit his green eyes. There were only two pairs of green eyes in this place. And I'm quite sure, now, that this guy standing right me was Edward but there's something wrong with him. I couldn't place it, though.

"Bella?" His voice was low and husky.

"Yeah. It's me. It's pretty cold out here. Come on in." I turned around and he grabbed my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine. I looked back at our hands for a second before sucking a whole lot of air and pulling him in the house. I'm sure Jazz and Em would kill Edward if they saw him come in with me right now. And the fact that I'm wearing these ultra revealing sleepwear. We headed for the kitchen and I grabbed each of us a glass of water.

Believe it or not, that was the only time I turned around to face him throughout our whole walk to the kitchen. And what a sight to see! His eyes was red. I didn't know if that's a result of drugs or alcohol or if he cried. But he was staring at me. Why was he staring at me?

He gulped down the water and I refilled it. "Edward?"

He chuckled, "You're still not sure? If I was a stranger and you'd pull me in the house, I might've raped you already."

"Yeah, well, Jazz and Em will hear me scream and then they'd come down and beat you up if you were the stranger." I shrugged.

"Right." He took another sip then he was quiet.

"Edward? Are you alright?" I looked back at him. I wanted to know what he's been doing, unless he starts telling about Tanya and how he fucked her. Not nice on my part.

"Yeah..." He looked down at his half-empty glass.

I raised my eyebrow at him when he raised his eyes again.

"No." His voice trembled.

"Why? What happened?" I stepped towards him.

His face went red. I placed my hand on the side of his face, cupping it. I felt his stubble graze my hand and it was like there were little electric ends on every strand of hair that was growing on his face. I brushed my thumb over his cheek. "It's okay." I told him. I felt something wet between our skin. Was he crying? Oh my gosh, he was crying. "Edward..." I called his name again. He shut his eyes and he cried more.

"Hey, hey. It's alright. Tell me. Come on, Edward. Tell me." I urged him softly. I know that if he tells me, he'll chill down.

He sniffed, "It's a long story."

I shrugged and sat on the counter. "I've got time."

"Actually, you don't. You need to sleep." His smile went half-way then returned to a frown.

"I couldn't sleep." I looked at him, waiting for whatever he needs to let out.

He sighed, "Fine. I talked to Tanya after dinner while I brought her back to her place. I told her, I've had enough and that...I'm breaking up with her. Then she..." He took a deep breath before he continued, "She...told me that I was never enough. That I'll never be enough to anybody. That I'm a worthless person. That I'm not a good son. That I'm a bad person. That it was my fault why I have a dead sister. It's my fault why Esme's never really satisfied with me. And my history proved that." He placed the glass down on the counter. He was crying even more, now.

"Ssshhh. It's going to be fine. Don't believe what Tanya said, okay?" I told him.

"How could I not, Bella? Everything she said is true." He ran his hands through his hair.

"No. What she said is the complete opposite of who you are. Clearly, she doesn't know you well." I shook my head.

"I've was with her for a year." He murmured.

"So? The time you spend in a relationship doesn't matter if she doesn't make an effort to know you." I gestured hand towards him.

"How can you say this, Bella? I made a mistake almost two months ago now with you. I shouldn't have touched you. I fucked up that night, too." He said frustratingly.

"No, no. _We_ shouldn't have done that. But _we_ were drunk. I know that's a lame excuse for what we did. It takes two to have sex. _We_ fucked up. _We_ made a mistake. And I said that, because I know you. And I saw you make an effort in fixing up what he could've had and what we have now. We wouldn't have been friends if it weren't for you." I fumbled with the robe nervously. I don't know how he would take it.

He was silent.

I looked up and he was still crying, trembling with his face buried in his hands. Edward Cullen looked so...hurt. So...fragile. I wanted so much to let him know that Tanya is a bitch and she's a liar. I wanted to let him know that it's alright. I wanted to let him know that he's fine.

I pulled his hand and hugged him. I wanted to hug him. So I did. And now, he's standing between my legs that hung from the counter. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around me and he gripped me tight as he cried.

"Ssshhh." I rubbed his back. He was still wearing his black shirt from a while ago during the dinner.

He pulled away, landing his hands on my hips. "I have to go..."

"It's three am! You can go later." I yawned. I'm starting to feel heavy now. Something about the hug just made me feel too comfortable.

"See? You're sleepy." He half-smiled.

"But you can't go now. It's three in the morning. Come on, you can go home later." I tugged at his shirt, hopping off the counter and pulling him to my bedroom. Honestly, I just don't want him to leave. Period. I felt like a twelve-year old, excited for her first sleepover, ever. I pushed him into the bathroom in my room. "Wash your face, change, or whatever. I have lots of huge shirts but I think Alice kept them all away."

I felt my eyelids drop as I waited for him. I took off my robe and hurriedly went under the sheets, excited to sleep. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was unconscious.

"Oh, Bella! Are you-?" I woke up to Alice's loud gasp.

I sat up but I felt heavy. So I propped up myself a little to see her. She had her tools ready but her face was filled with shock. Must be my hair. She's probably thinking about how she's going to fix that one hell of a nest! "Oh, come on, Al! It's so early!" I buried my head back underneath the pillows. I felt an arm pull me towards a body. "Alice." I whined again. The arm came in contact with my skin and it blazed there. Oh, damn! I followed the arm that was now securely wrapped around my waist. I gasped. Shit. Edward.

"Edward." I shook him. He didn't wake up. "Edward!" His eyes fluttered open, still puffed. "We've been caught." I told him. I looked around and saw Alice still frozen in her spot. I ran to the door to lock it and Alice gave me an angry look.

"No. It's not like that." I shook my head at her.

"Then, what is it like?" Her eyes flickered between me and Edward who were now sitting on the bed.

"Well, I...Edward came here during midnight. He wanted to talk and we got tired so, I pulled him to bed with me." I shrugged.

"Yeah. That pretty much sums up what happened." Edward muttered.

"Mhmmm...Well, Edward, you have to go. Bella needs to get ready for her date." Alice continued to run around the room.

"Okay." He hopped off the bed and he put on his jeans.

"Hey, Al. Mind if we invite Edward, tomorrow?" I asked pixie. Seriously, he needs friends, especially if Tanya just dumped him.

"Um...Sure. I'm pretty sure, Jazz and Em will love your company." She said monotonously.

"I'll talk to them." I shrugged.

"Okay." He said again. He turned around to face me. Then he leaned in to hug and kiss me on the forehead. My blush gave it away. He chuckled. "Thanks, Bella. I'll see you, tomorrow. Bye Alice."

He locked my bedroom door behind him. And the moment he was out of sight and hear. Alice gave me the wide eyes look. "What the hell was that, Bella? Is he your boyfriend now?"

"What? No. I'm going on a date with Riley, remember?" I rolled my eyes. "He needs a friend badly. And I don't see anything wrong with him. He's actually hotter than Riley if you ask me."

"Well, yeah. I suppose that's right." She shrugged. "I mean his green eyes..." She looked up dreamily. "But that's not the point! You just let him in like that? Like he didn't do anything to you?" Her anger was back.

"Correction. _We_ did something. And that's fine. I've gone past that already. And Edward's really awesome." I went to the bathroom and locked the door. I didn't want Alice telling me to be careful with him. Because, I know him and he's not how they see him. It's going to get frustrating if I quarrel with her.

"Bella!" Alice called my name again in the middle of my bath. I rolled my eyes.

"What?" I shouted back.

"Whose dress is this?"

Oops. Man, she's good. Does she put I.D. numbers on _her_ dresses? "Um...Esme's."

"Why do have her dress? What happened last night?" Alice was freaking out again.

I stepped out of the bathroom and she was by my bed, tapping her foot.

"We had dinner." I tried to hide from her glare by going in the walk-in closet and dressing up in my new underwear. Thanks to Alice.

"I think there's more." She simply said as I stepped back out into the room. She handed me my clothes and I groaned as I recognized that it was another dress. "What happened?"

I finally gave up. I should just tell her. It's Alice. She's like a bestfriend, now. I mean she helped me with Edward. "Tanya was there last night and dinner didn't go so well. Alice, I really don't want to talk about it. But...Esme did invite me to have dinner every Friday at their house. I said, yes. She's Esme. I couldn't say no." I slipped on the dress easily. The cloth was like Esme's dress but this one was cream and had pink and brown swirls and twirls on it. _Girly_.

Her face went from disgust to...joy? She was happy? "Tanya was there? I bet she's the cause of the bad dinner. And it's nice for Esme to invite you." She hopped up and handed me a pair of white heavy shoes. It was lacy and there were like weaves on the tall base of the shoes. I looked at it questioningly.

"Please, tell me this isn't the first time you've ever seen a pair of wedged heels." She shook her head and massaged her temples.

"Ha! I wish I don't end up like a wedged potato when I walk with this thing!" I put them on and tied the cloth strap into a ribbon above my heel. I suppose that's where it's supposed to go.

"There. You look beautiful. Now, the hair. I hope you don't mind if we just curl this a little and let it down." She pushed me to the dresser.

"I already look like a barbie. Why not finish the look?" I smiled sarcastically.

She pulled at my hair a little harder than usual.

"Ow." My hand flew to the part where it hurt and she slapped my hand away.

"You're so hotheaded this morning." She brushed and dried my hair.

Why was I so annoying anyway? Oh right. Maybe because I wanted to sleep more. Because I want to be lazy today after a week of stress. And I don't think a date with a guy, I know little about would relax me. Seriously, it's just adding more stress. My sleep last night was so comfortable. Like really really comfortable, I didn't even want to wake up this morning. But yeah, Alice's loud gasp had to send me flying out of bed. Correction. Me and Edward out of bed. I think he was having a good sleep, too. And after what happened last night, I think he deserves it.

"Jeez, Bella. You've got eye luggages! They're so purple!" Alice head appeared in front of me as she dabbed a small sponge underneath my eyes.

"Well, that's what we get if we pull Bella out of bed too early." I told her and she rolled her eyes.

She continued putting make-up on my skin. But I couldn't really call it make-up. It was too light to be considered as make-up. My thoughts flew back to the recent weeks' events. So much had happened, it felt like it's been another month already. So much had happened it felt like I've known Edward for so long already. So much had happened that I'm starting to feel like Esme's my own mother.

"There. All done." Alice jumped and stood behind me.

My jaw dropped open. Pink lips? Pinkish eyes? Pinkish blush? What is up with all the pink? "Alice! What did you do? I look sooo girly!"

"Riley will love it." She giggled.

I pouted and decided there's really nothing I could do. Why did I even agree to this?

A knock came on the door and Dorota's head poked in. "Miss Bella. A Mister Riley is at the door for you."

I sighed and Alice rolled her eyes. "Just go get it, Bella. This might turn out to be better than you expect."

Oh well. Here goes my much wanted sleep. Wish me luck!


	16. Chapter 16

_**I've decided to change this story to an M-rating. Tell me if I should change it back.**_

**How To Become A Girl**

**Chapter Sixteen**

_**"Comparisons are easily done. Once you've had a taste of perfection." **_

_**Katy Perry "Thinking Of You"**_

Okay. Fine. Riley's gorgeous. Like really gorgeous. But there was something about him. His blonde hair, his blue eyes, his smile...they seem...too normal, too ordinary. Nothing like Edward's bronze but coppery, messy hair. Or Edward's green eyes...Or his defined jaw...Or his cute pointy nose...Or...why am I even comparing him to Edward? They're two different people! Yeah! Edward's better. Oh god. I should really stop now.

We were walking through the park, telling stories about each other. But I couldn't quite pay attention. I don't know why. My head seems to be somewhere else. Actually I think my heart is still on my bed, taking it's wonderful sleep. My hands were placed behind me as we walked slowly.

"Bella?" Riley grabbed my waist and shook it, pulling me away from my train of thought. I pulled away from his grip. I swear, I almost tripped when he shook me.

"Huh? What's wrong?" I whipped my head around to check my surroundings. Looks normal.

He chuckled. "You're so out of here. Did you even notice that you were walking the wrong way? You're cute."

Edward used 'breathtaking' to describe me. "I'm sorry. Please, lead the way." I forced myself to smile.

He grinned and pulled my hand. It felt wrong. Actually, everything feels so wrong at the moment. Like going out felt so wrong especially if my body is somewhat aching for my bed. I mean, I haven't even had breakfast, either. It's eating me up!

He brought me to a small field and there was a basket on a picnic mat. I could feel a grin break my face. Finally! Food! What? I'm really hungry. If I was with Edward, he'd bring me to his mom to be fed first before we go on a date. That is if we are going to go on a date. But seriously, I'm really hungry.

I discreetly tried pulling my hand away from Riley's finger by finger when finally, it's just our index fingers linked together. Slowly, that slipped, too and I sighed a breath of relief. Riley patted the space next to him and I stood there for a while deciding how to sit in this dress. I kneeled on the other side of the mat before putting down my ass on the ground and moving my legs a little to the side. He chuckled at my awkward movements and handed me a PB&J sandwich. I squeezed the bread together and the jam oozed out the sides. I took a bite and mmmm...I think I forgot everything at the moment.

"Yummy?" He asked.

"Yeah." I nodded and smiled.

"You've got a little something there." He pointed to my lips.

I raised my hand to take it off but he stopped it.

"Let me get it." And just like that, he swooped in for a kiss. A kiss that got too heated up and his hand landed on my knees. It was now running up and he's _thisclose_ in exposing my underwear to the public. Okay. So. Apparently, this is my first official kiss. With this guy? It doesn't even feel right and the only reason I couldn't pull back was because he already was pinning me down. I dropped the sandwich from my hand and tried pushing him away. He wasn't moving. Oh God. I could feel the acid in my stomach rise up to my throat. Oh god! Tell me he's not raping me here. He pulled me closer, tighter into his body and I couldn't do anything. I could feel the tears run down my cheek but he wasn't stopping. Why wasn't I attempting to make some noise? Because everything was caught in my throat. I was too shocked.

I could feel my back rise from the ground but I was still pressed up his body. I could feel myself go limp against him. I was exhausted to start with and this fucking rape thing is making me even more exhausted. And I couldn't fight back. I hope someone saves me. He put me down again and this time he pulled off but as I looked around, I figured we're back in the car.

I punched him in the face. "Fucker!"

He rubbed his jaw and looked back at me. "Feisty. Relax, Bella. You're going to love what I'm going to do."

"Fuck! No!" I tried moving my legs so I could kick him with my knee but he straddled me already and had already locked my legs together. I let out a scream but he's already cupped my mouth.

"Damn it, Bella! Will you shut up?" I tried pulling away but he was so strong. I couldn't...all I could do was cry. I was so weak. He did things to me. This was so different than when I was drunk with Edward. He was forcing himself, it was painful. Both emotionally and physically. What's the difference? I didn't participate here! With Edward, I did. I'm sure, I did. I couldn't imagine Edward raping me. No. Edward wouldn't rape me. And then...I'm pretty sure, I passed out.

I woke up on an empty bench and everything came crashing down on me. Riley just raped me. Only God will know how many times he did. I looked down to see that I was fully dressed. I feel sick. I feel disgusted with myself right now. I buried my face in my hands crying my heart out. Why did this happen to me? I don't know what I did wrong. I just...God! I don't know what to do. I checked the dress' pocket for my phone. It wasn't anywhere. How in the world am I going to go home? Don't tell me, I have to walk in these shoes. Ugh. My knees can even barely stand up.

I stood up and I almost fell down again. I held onto the bench for support and I walked slowly. The park was almost empty. And it was dark. I'd say, sometime around midnight. I hope someone I know, aside from Riley, would bump into me here. I walked down the sidewalk. I know that my dress is ripped almost halfway through the skirt. And I know that I might have bruises everywhere because I feel sore.

I kept walking despite the weakness that I could feel in my knees.

_Damn! I'm tough, I'm tough..._I told myself again and again. I leaned on a wall finally giving up on walking. My whole body just really hurts! I looked up and saw the boutique sign. My eyes started to hurt. The light was starting to blind me.

"Bella?" A familiar voice called out my name. It was a girls' voice and I smiled weakly that finally someone recognized me. "Oh my god, Bella! What happened to you?" She held my arm as I stumbled onto her.

I squinted to see who she was. Black hair, blue eyes...Alice? Nope. She's too tall. Tanned skin. Ah. Heidi.

"Heidi?" I had to make sure. But I started crying again. And this time she wrapped her arms around me and looked for a place to sit.

She pushed the stray hair out of my hair. "Bella? I think you need help. Is there anyone I could call for you?"

I said the only name that was popping into my head right now. The one I wished I bumped into instead of Heidi. But Heidi was great enough.

"O-kay." She looked at me suspiciously before she dialed his phone number. She looked at me while she waited for him to pick up the phone. Then finally, "Hey, Edward. Yeah. I need your help. I'm fine. It's...Bella. She's in a bit of a shock right now. Yeah. Could you pick her up? We're at the boutique near the park. And Edward? Please, hurry."

I was still crying and Heidi pulled me closer to her, hugging me tightly while she rubbed my arm. I winced a little at the pain she was causing and she looked at me. She looked at my arm and gasped. "I'm so sorry, Bella. You have bruises everywhere."

I swallowed and nodded my head.

"What happened? Okay. I think you don't want to talk about it. It's okay. I won't force you." She pulled me back into her hug again.

I saw a tall figure by the door of the boutique that Heidi came out of. He turned around and saw us. I sank deeper into Heidi's arms. I was afraid. Afraid of any guy at the moment. Except him, of course.

"Bella?" He looked at me with shock? Concern? "What...what happened?"

"I don't know. I just saw her leaning on that wall and she told me to call you." I let Heidi raise me up a little. "She's got bruises everywhere, Ed."

I tried to stand up straight and I almost stumbled again. Edward caught me and I cringed in pain. He decided to carry me bridal style. They walked to the car and I cried. He put me in the front seat and I curled like a fetus.

"Heidi? Do you need a ride?" Edward asked.

"No. My boyfriend's here. He's waiting for me at Starbucks." She smiled.

"Okay. Thanks, Heidi and be careful." He waved at Heidi before getting in the car.

"Edward?" I called out his name softly while he drove.

"What happened, Bella?" He glanced at me. I tried to remember but when I do, all that would come out of me were sobs and tears. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry." He took my hand and rubbed circles on top.

"Please. Don't take me to Jasper's." I couldn't go home now. I couldn't let Alice, Rosalie, Jasper and especially Emmett see me like this. I couldn't watch them freak out at me all at the same time.

He looked at me again. "Okay." He continued driving...fast and then he pulled up in a garage of a white house. He unbuckled my seat slowly and he carried me again. I buried my head in his chest and clutched his shirt. I'm still afraid. I mean what if Riley's been following us? What if he's planning to attack again? What if this time he attacks Edward then me? I can't. I just couldn't let him do that.

"Bella? I'm going to have to put you down. We need to get in." I let him slowly put me back on my feet. And pressed some numbers on a small machine that was plastered on the wall beside the door. Then he pressed his thumb on it. The door unlocked and held me as he walked me in. The place was black. Like, literally all walls were black. There were tall windows but they were covered with black blinds, too. And the ceiling was high. In the middle of the room was a bed. A squarish one. I couldn't quite decide if it was a bed or a sofa. But it looks too big to be a sofa. The doors were white. Actually, this is not so bad. I like black. There was a kitchen and a small dining table on the other side of the room. And then, opposite his bed were the TV and his consoles.

"So...this is my place. I can't really call it a house." He sat me down on the bed/sofa. Then he turned on all the lights and his eyes grew wide as he looked back at me. "Oh my god, Bella!" He rushed to me and my eyes widened at the surprised he showed. "With whom did you get in a fight with?" He took my arm and inspected it. I winced as the tips of his fingers grazed on a bruise.

"Does it hurt?" He looked at me with his brows knit together.

And then I did what I've been wanting to do. I smoothed the creases out and then I nodded.

He took a long breath out and stood up, looking around his place. "Well, first, you need to get cleaned up. Your dress doesn't look nice. It's dirty and it's ripped halfway through. Your hair is a mess, too. I can lend you some clothes but...I don't have a pair of underwear for you...Then, I can check your bruises. And then, please, tell me what happened." He ran to his closet and looked through his clothes. "I'm sorry, Bella. I really don't have women's underwear in this closet."

I shook my head. I tried to stand up to look for his bathroom. But then my knees faltered again and I had to hold on to the bed for support. He ran quickly to my side and helped me up.

"Bathroom." I said and he started guiding me to one of the white doors and turning on the lights. The bathroom was tiled in black and white. "I need your help. It hurts when I move and I can't stand properly."

He took a deep breath before he unzipped my dress. His hands were shaking. "Edward. It's okay. Just help me." I told him. He slowly slid the dress down to the floor and his gaze whipped to my body and his eyes grew wide.

I looked down to myself and saw all the bruises. Like handprints. On my hips, waist, thighs, calfs, arms, ass and then there was one on my breast but right now it's being covered by my bra. I blushed when he continued to look. He placed my hands on the counter while he fixed my bath. "Honestly, you need to bathe in ice, Bella. I'm not kidding. I'll try to buy ice." He turned around and I called out his name again.

"Please, don't leave me. Please. I..." I shook my head. What if Riley decides to attack while Edward is gone? I'll be dead even before I know it.

"The store is just right across the street. And this place in on security. It will go on alarm if someone tries to get in. I'll be back in a second, okay?" He hesitated but he kissed my forehead before disappearing. I stood there and I looked at my bruises while he was gone. As I examined my bruises, the pieces fell into place and I could imagine how he touched me...hard. Too hard. I started to cry again.

Edward was back in a jiffy, carrying two bags of ice. He unloaded them in the tub and he turned back around towards the door.

"Um. Help?" I tried to stand again. He took a deep breath before he turned to me again. Was he nervous in seeing me almost completely naked? Please! He's the only person in this world who've seen me _completely_ naked. I'm pretty sure he remembers that. He led me to the tub. "I can't reach my back."

"You need me to take them off?" He asked in a small voice. I nodded at him in response. "Are you not nervous? I mean...judging by the bruises...you were...raped?"

"You weren't the one who raped me, right? Please, Edward. And besides, you've already seen me completely naked." I shook my head.

He stripped me carefully and slowly. He held me as I submerged my legs in the tub. It's fucking cold! And painful! I had to hug Edward and cry. He tensed when I wrapped my arms around his neck. He rubbed my back and hummed until we're both relaxed and he helped me settle down in the tub. It hurt but I took deep breaths to endure it. Edward left me for a while before he returned with an icebag and a rubberband. He took my hair and tied it up in a messy bun while he pressed the icebag on my mouth. I guess I had bruises there, too.

"You've got bruises everywhere. Who did it?" His tone was firmer and angrier on the question.

I swallowed and I opened my mouth to speak but he spoke first. He said, "It was Riley, wasn't it? I knew you shouldn't have gone to that date. Maybe, I should've stopped you this morning. I knew something was wrong." His voice was seeping with anger. I could feel his grip on the icebag get tighter.

I held his hand as the cold ice pricked my bruises. "Fuck! It hurts!" Sorry. I couldn't help it anymore. I had to.

"I'm sorry." He rubbed the top of my hand with his thumb. He stood up and took the shower head. He released my hair and he washed it. I had my eyes closed the whole time. He dried it with a towel and he told me he's going to prepare some clothes for me to wear while I showered and get cleaned up. He helped me and I leaned on the wall while I do my showering. It was difficult. I didn't know how to bathe myself, half-submerged in ice.

He knocked just in time and wrapped a towel around me. He let me sit back on his bed. He left his folded clean clothes beside me and he headed for the shower. I dabbed myself dry and tried my best to put on the clothes. His large shirt (Well, on me it was.) and a pair of pajamas reminded me of my clothes that Alice had kept away. The comfortable, familiar feeling had me smile for a while. I put the towel on the floor and I sat in the middle of his bed. As soon as he came out of the bathroom, he cleaned up my mess. I felt bad for having him to do so but I couldn't move properly. He threw my dress and my underwear away and he picked up the towel that I used and put it his dirty clothes' basket. He gave me a bowl of soup, a pill and glass of water.

I quickly finished all the soup. And then I looked at the pill questioningly.

"It's a painkiller. It will knock you to sleep, too." He put the empty glass away after I drank the medicine and he lied in bed next to me. He fixed a pillow and he helped me lie down on my back.

I don't know why but I just had to cry again. I just had, too. Probably from all the pain. Because this is the first time, I felt weak and vulnerable.

He hesitantly put his arm around my waist lightly. Hushing and singing me to sleep.

"Thank you, Edward." I told him and he kissed my forehead.

"Anything, anytime." He smiled at me.

I could feel my eyelids grow heavy and sooner or later, I fell asleep to his humming.

* * *

**And tell me what you think. :)**


	17. Chapter 17

_**I know that Bella and Edward were kind of stupid last chapter but they were both slightly shocked. They couldn't believe what happened. So...I know it's some sort of a malpractice for Edward but hey, he realized his mistake the next morning. This chapter is the next morning. I posted this because I know you want explanations. Bella's going to be fine, don't worry.**_

**How To Become A Girl**

**Chapter Seventeen**

I woke up the next morning even more sore. If that's even possible. I mean seriously, I barely even moved since I woke up which was about a minute ago. I woke up to a black ceiling, so obviously, I'm still at Edward's. I was still in his clothes, which were so comfortable, by the way. The opposite side of the bed sank and I looked to see Edward take a seat on that spot.

"How are you feeling?" He moved closer to me.

"Sore." I shrugged then winced at the movement.

"Hmm...Aren't you in a bit of a shock?" His eyebrows knit together and his eyes focused on my face.

"Well, maybe just a bit. But due to your nursing expertise, I am a lot better, now. Not physically, though, obviously." I tried to sit up and he assisted.

He chuckled, "Really? Well, thanks. I'm glad I could make you feel better."

I gave him a kiss on the cheek. And then it got awkward. I tried to speak up, "Was that alright? I mean do girls do that normally? I've seen Alice and Rose do it...I wasn't really that much of a girl back then. Just now...when Alice started forcing me into her type of clothes and going out with guys. I, uh, don't know. I don't have a manual." I shrugged nervously. Oh god! I just babbled! I hope his bed eats me whole! Right now!

He looked like he was holding back a laugh.

"What?" I raised my brows at him. Was there something wrong with what I said? Oh my god! I'm so bad at this..."It's just that having guys surround me all the time makes me forget I'm one. You know what I mean."

He smirked.

Then I continued, "It's probably why I'm not that shocked. I keep telling myself that I'm tough and that this is no matter to fuss over..." I looked down. He didn't respond and I lifted my head back up. "...except that it is, right? I should be worried, shouldn't I? And I should be going into total shock right now...except that I'm not, too."

He sucked a whole lot of air before trying to shift the conversation, "Jasper called this morning asking about you. Apparently, they tried calling your phone last night. But they thought...you and...Riley were...you know. And then I told them you were with me since last night. I didn't tell them what happened. That's for you to tell. And then, I called Carlisle and he said we should head to the hospital to get you checked up, at least, to an OBGYN. You might want not to go but, Bella, you need this badly." He pulled me in for a hug.

There's nothing wrong if I go to a check up, right. I mean, I need to be physically checked. What if Riley had something that's contagious? What if...he wounded me there, too? Yep. I definitely need to go see a doctor. STD is not nice. I nodded into his chest and he pulled back to look at me. "But only if...you'll be there. You're the only person I'm confident to stay with." I clutched the back part of his shirt that I gripped.

"Okay. Then we have to bring you back home afterwards." He stood up and gathered a couple of clothing articles.

"Why? You don't want me staying here? Oh! Right. Of course. You have a new girlfriend." I shook my head. What the hell was I thinking? Staying over at Edward's til forever. But hey, this place is a killer for me. It's just so comfortable.

"What? No. I don't have a new girlfriend! And you can stay here anytime. I wouldn't mind at all with that. It's just that...I think we should tell Jasper and everybody else." He chuckled.

"Oh." I looked down. "So...I can stay here anytime?" My head sprang up to look at him with a smile.

"Yeah." He nodded and placed a shirt and a pair of jeans next to me. "If...we go to your house and tell your friends and maybe your father, too."

"No! I can't tell my father! He's going to kill me! He'll die of heart attack! And I wouldn't be there to save him!" I clutched the sheets.

He laughed softly, "You're such a kid sometimes. He won't die of heart attack. We won't let that happen but you need to tell him, too. You can't keep that from him. He's going to find that out one way or another and I think it's better if you tell him before he finds out from someone else."

I sighed, "I guess you're right. You have to be there, too, when I tell them."

"Fine. Now, let's get you showered and ready." He scooped me up and put me in the tub. "Do you...still need help?" His voice still shook at the end.

I decided to take the strain off. "No. I'm...okay. I'll manage."

"Okay. Just call me if you need help." He slapped his thighs before standing up and heading out of the room.

I managed to pull the boxers off and throw it on the bathroom floor. The shirt, though, was a little more difficult. I endured the pain that the process caused. And I did it slowly, which I regretted afterwards because I had to go through the pain slowly, too.

"Damn!" I muttered before I was able to push myself up, leaning on the wall. It was easier to bathe this time. I knew what to do. I found a towel hung on a rack at the end of the tub. I quickly wrapped it around me before I called him back in to assist me out. He scooped me up again and plopped down on the bed. He handed me my underwear last night. It was clean, washed. "How...?"

He looked down like he's done a crime. Was he shy of telling me that he washed my underwear? Shouldn't I be shy that he washed my underwear? "I went to the laundry place while you were asleep. I'm sorry, I left..."

"Oh. No. I guess that's fine. I'm still alive, so...your security system must really be good." I gave him two thumbs up before putting on my underwear. I told him it was okay if he didn't turn around, I mean, after everything, he'd still be super shy. I should be super shy. I've been showing him my body! Oh god! Fine. I decided to let him turn around, in the end. He helped me in his clothes. A pair of his jeans. We had to fold up the bottom of each leg. And then he inserted a belt through the belt loops. We had to make a knot on the front of his shirt because it was too big for me. Too big and long to be called baggy, still. He let me a sweatshirt and I tied my hair up in a pony tail.

He scooped me up again but I stopped him. He looked at me questioningly before I told him, "I need to learn my way around stuff. Let me try to...limp all the way to the car." He chuckled and handed his arm for me. I took it as my support and we walked to the car.

He drove silently to the hospital and looked for Carlisle.

"Hey, Bella. How are you doing?" He started walking us to an office with Edward trailing behind.

"To be honest, not so good." I shook my head.

"You don't seem to be suffering from shock which is good." He opened a door and assisted me in.

"Just as long as I don't get to see Riley anymore, I'll be okay." I smiled at him and he was closing the door. I stopped him. "Edward, you promised me."

"I know." He pulled the door and the three of us entered the room. A nurse appeared and asked for my name. Carlisle quickly told her that I was with him and that he had already talked to Dr. Stiles. I was nervous that it would be a guy. Thank god when it wasn't. She seemed old and slim and she had reddish hair that was tied up in a neat bun. She took some tests. I'm not going to go into details. She took tests. And told us that she'll tell Carlisle about it when she gets the results. As to the wounds...I was okay. No wounds.

"Thank you, Carlisle." I wrapped the arm that wasn't holding on to Edward around Carlisle.

"It's nothing. I'm glad to be of help. Please, tell me if you feel anything and if something goes wrong." He rubbed his thumb on my cheek. I felt like I was 5 again. Charlie would do it all the time when I trip or fall.

"Dad, we'll go now. Tell mom I said hi and don't forget to mention that Bella's fine. She's been worried crazy." Edward gave Carlisle a half hug before he assisted to walk me out.

"No shit sherlock? Esme's worried?" My eyes widened at him.

"It's her motherly instincts kicking in. She'll be fine. You'll be fine." He assisted me back in the car and he stopped somewhere to get frozen yogurts with fresh cherries! I think frozen yogurts are now my favorite. Goodbye, cheesecake! I smiled at him as we ate. Well, I had to assist him with his because he was driving. You know what I mean.

When we got through the gates of the JW palace and the door was appearing, I swear I wanted to hide. Alice, Rose, Jazz and Em were standing on the porch grinning, not knowing what really happened. I hated ruining the fun for them but...I had to. Edward noticed me slump in my seat a little lower and he took my hand, relaxing me again. He's like a drug. And I might be addicted. Might. I said might.

"I...I can't..." Oh god! I was sobbing. Not so tough anymore, eh?

"Bella...I know it's difficult but we can't pretend nothing happened. I'll go through it with you." He rubbed my chin before getting off the car and going around to help me. He helped me off and they're faces turned to a curious expression. Well, I expected that. I was covered and they couldn't see anything. The hood was up so it shadowed over my face.

"Bella!" Alice shrieked first while heading to us. She was about to hug me but Edward stopped her.

"Careful, she's tender." Edward warned her. She gave him a look before smiling and giving me a soft hug.

"You totally have to tell me everything!" She clapped and walked off. "Well, what are you exactly waiting for?" She turned around in her spot and waited for me. I still had my hand Edward's forearm. I guess she saw me limp because her face turned from happy to shock to worry. She rushed back to me and helped. "Oh my god! What happened?"

"I...uh, I'll tell you later with everybody else." I smiled weakly at her.

We walked up the porch and into the living room with Emmett and Jasper and Rosalie, who were all just as shocked as Alice, trailing behind us. I sat on the couch and Edward took his place beside me. They followed the action and soon we had one big circle formed. I'll admit, it looks nice.

I sighed and looked up at the ceiling, asking for some help. Okay. _I can do this. I can do this. _I started, "Well...um...Riley kind of took me by surprise." I gulped. "He, uh,...I was, um...raped." I said the last word with a breath. Edward grazed his hand on my thigh. I saw Emmett's and Jasper's eyes grow wide. Like saucers and they both cracked their knuckles. Alice and Rosalie were angry, too. Their words were colliding and I couldn't understand a thing. "Guys! Stop!" I managed to say a little louder than usual.

"Oh come on, Bella! Don't tell me we're just going to let him get away like that!" Emmett stood up and his arms flung everywhere.

"We want to beat him up!" Jasper joined Emmett.

"Are you okay?" Alice suddenly interjected.

"I'm fine. Edward helped me into the hospital today for a check-up. It's fine. Doctor said, I look fine. We took tests. I'll get the results later." I wasn't sure about telling them about the bruises.

"That's good. Thank you, Edward." Rosalie smiled weakly.

"My pleasure. Now, that we've got this out. I am ready to help Emmett and Jasper beat the hell out of the guy! I've been holding the anger for too long now." He stood up from my side being quickly replaced by Alice and disappeared to plan with my two buddies. "And hey, don't forget to tell your dad." He told me before they went to the kitchen.

I nodded at him and Alice gave me a hug. A tight hug, this time. I winced. "Ow. Alice."

She pulled back quickly and pouted, "Sorry."

"I kinda have bruises everywhere." I told her.

"Oh my god! What did he do to you!" Rosalie asked me as I removed the sweatshirt and she saw the huge one on my arm. "I'll file police report." She left the room and it was just me and Alice.

"Alice...I don't know what I would've done without Edward." I shook my head, letting some tears escape.

"Yeah. You smell like him a lot, now." She giggled. "Why didn't you tell us earlier?"

"I was scared to get your reactions. And...I was in no condition last night to tell you anything at all. Edward had to carry me to his place. Speaking of, you gotta see it! It's so comfortable there." I giggled, too. It was good to let some out.

"Yeah. Well, Edward deserves more than just a thank you, I guess. And the cold shoulder that we've been giving him. Glad that he's cool now with Jazz and Em." She shrugged. "Well, we better follow his advice. You gotta tell your dad."

"Alice...I..." I hesitated again.

"I'll be here." She put her hand lightly on my lap.

"But I don't have a phone. I, um, I think Riley took it or threw it away." I turned to face Alice.

"That's not a problem. I'm pretty sure Jasper has his number. I'll go borrow his phone." Alice disappeared into the kitchen just as Rosalie came back.

"The police wants to question you. They're on their way." Rosalie said.

I nodded then Alice returned back with Jasper's phone in hand. She handed it to me and I looked for Charlie's number. I called him up and told him about what happened. And just as I expected, he wanted me to go back to Forks right away. Take the first flight back. I told him, I was fine. And that my friends have been a good help. But he won't take it. As usual, I'm stubborn, so, I didn't budge. I told him sorry. But I sort of accidentally promised that if anything else happens to me, I'll go back. What am I supposed to do? He's my father, he's worried. I understood that.

The police came over, too, and I talked with them. I described Riley Stewart to them. Apparently, his family is quite known as well, so it was easy to look for him. We waited for their call that night but found out that Riley was an orphan with both his parents dying about a year ago. He's escaped and I don't know how catch him. The police said they're doing the best they could but finding him is sort of impossible, now. I cried again when I learned that. I wouldn't be given justice for this and that's quite unfair. But the things I wanted were far out of reach. I had to accept the fact that I may not win this fight. But I am tough and I'll hold on to whatever I can.

Edward tucked me in bed that night while the rest of my friends talked to the school so I could get a break. Doctor said I had to be bed rested for about a week. Alice had let go of my comfy plaid pajamas and I felt a lot comfortable, better in them. I didn't want to let go of Edward's clothes, actually. They were too comfy. You know, sometimes, I hate the fact that I like guy clothes. But I had to return them to the respectful owner.

I was finishing off the bowl of soup that Edward had brought up and he gave me another dose of painkillers. "Thank god, this thing works." I sniffed.

He took the tray off the bed and called Dorota to get it.

"I feel exhausted." I pulled up the sheets.

"You are. You had a hell of a week at work and school. Yesterday, I had you suffer with me emotionally. God, I feel so bad. I feel guilty. Like all this is my fault. And then now, you got raped. I should've stopped you but I didn't. I feel like it's all my fault." He was pacing around my room.

"Hey, hey. It's none of your fault. How did this even become your fault?" I tried to argue my side.

"I should've stopped you. You know how much difference there would be, if I had stopped you this morning." He sat next to me on the bed.

I didn't want where this is going. We just had our friendship relationship worked out. I don't want this to happen yet. "Alice would've kicked you out for stopping me. And then she would've forced me. Why are you putting all the weight on you? It happened to me!"

"That's the point. It happened to _you_. Because I didn't do that little thing of stopping you." He cupped my face with both his hands.

What? "I'm sorry. I'm not...getting where you're going." I tried to decipher what he said. It did happen to me? Now why did he care so much? I get it, I'm a friend. He cares that way. But the way he said it seemed different.

He sighed. "Just...rest. You need to sleep. The last thing I should do is infuriate you. And here I am doing it." He sighed again, "Just sleep."

"I..." After that two nights of having him sleep beside me, I don't think I could ever sleep without him by my side ever again. He just makes my sleep better since I've left Forks. But I wasn't going to tell him that I want him to be my personal teddy bear.

"You what, Bella? Do you need anything?" He looked at me, waiting for my answer.

Oh, what the hell! I should give it a try. "Can you...stay?" I lowered my head, scared of what his answer might be.

"You want me to stay?" He tilted my head up so that he could see my face.

I swallowed, "Yeah. You just make sleep easier and better for me."

"If that's what you need." A small smile graced his lips.

"Thank you." I settled in bed and he hopped off the bed only to return a little later. The bed sunk a little when he joined me and I automatically turned around to face him. He put an arm around my waist again and pulled me closer.

"Goodnight." I said.

"Goodnight. Sleep well." He kissed my forehead.

_Oh. I will._


	18. Chapter 18

**How To Become A Girl**

**Chapter Eighteen**

My recovery time has been really boring. It was pretty much the same everyday. We still couldn't find Riley. And my hopes are really going down on that one. Edward has been staying here at the house most of the time. He's been a great friend. Oh and yeah, I got the results. I'm clean. I'm safe. I'm good. Honestly, despite this rape thing, I've been feeling good, happy. Anyway, back to Edward...He's a great cook, too. He cooks all the time for me. But he doesn't sleep here as much as I expected him, too. Okay. Maybe I expected _too_ much. I expected him to be here all the time. I mean it. _All_ the time. He's got school. I've been excused, so maybe most part of my days were boring but he'd do such a great job in entertaining me when he comes back from school along with Jazz and Em and Alice and Rose. We'd play a lot of Guitar Hero and House of the Dead. It was fun. He tucks me in bed, waits for me to fall asleep before going home. He'd make a perfect boyfriend one day. I didn't say, my perfect boyfriend. Just in general...Oh. Whatever. I don't even know why Tanya broke up with him. I mean he's the best guy I've ever met.

It's my birthday today. Nothing really special. I'm turning 19, so what? It's not much of a big deal. To me. I haven't told Alice yet. Hell, I haven't told anybody it was my birthday. Except Jazz and Em. But they knew that birthday parties aren't really my thing. So they're both hush-hush.

I was going to spend the day normally, like how I would spend a sunday normally. I just recovered, physically, from what Riley did. I may still have small patches of bruises here and there but they're barely visible. So, I could go swimming now or I could go back to playing ball. I miss football. Or...I can just stay in my bedroom, study shit. I've been going to school again since Wednesday. As expected, Riley dropped out. I'm angry and relieved all at the same time. Angry because, I won't ever get my revenge on him and relieved because, I will never see him again. Ever. So. I ended up with nobody to team up with for the project. I talked to my professor and he said if I could do it alone, decently, then he'll give me a hundred for the finals. Yay for me, right? I thought so.

I was gorging on a plate of waffles, prepared by Dorota. And, mmm...I've never had anything better! Okay. I was sidetracked again. Anyway, Emmett came up to me and hugged me from behind, eventually lifting me off the counter. Yep, I was sitting on the counter. What? It's my birthday. I can do whatever I want and eat wherever I want.

"Happy Birthday!" Emmett almost shouted, good thing I turned around in time and shoved half a waffle into his mouth. He mmed too. "I guess that's your way to tell me to shut the fuck up. Damn! This thing is heaven!" He took another bite and savored it.

"Dorota made it for me." I smiled at him.

"Tell her to make some for me." He took the carton of milk from the fridge.

Just then, Jasper came in the kitchen and was about to scream happy birthday, too. But I shushed him. But clearly that didn't do it. He came up to me and hugged me then whispered the words.

"What are your plans for today?" Jasper also took a piece of the waffle.

"Can you stop taking my breakfast away?" I pouted then continued, "Nothing. I don't know. Maybe I'll swim or play football or study."

"Dude, you deserve a party!" Emmett bellowed.

"You say that every year." I shrugged. "I don't want a party. I'm 19 not 7 years old."

"When you were seven, I remember how we played the whole day with your dad. We played chase, football, water guns and stuff." Emmett gulped down his glass. "I miss him."

"Me too." I shrugged and continued eating my plate of waffles. Or what's left of it.

Jasper's phone rang next to me. I saw 'Charlie' flash on the screen. "Ooh. Speak of the devil." I picked it up, "Hello?"

"Hey, buddy! Happy Birthday!" At least nobody heard him.

Emmett and Jasper shot up their eyebrows at me. Or so, I thought nobody heard him.

"Thanks, dad." I smiled at the phone.

"I miss you, Bella. You're coming over for Thanksgiving, right?" He asked.

"Yeah, yeah. Definitely!" I assured him.

"You better drag Jasper and Em along." He laughed.

"I'll put you on speaker. They're here." I put it on speaker just like I told him and Jasper and Em bombarded him with 'hellos' and 'what's ups'.

They caught up with each other and Jasper and Emmett agreed to join us for Thanksgiving. I can't wait for home. I can't wait for that nostalgic feeling. I miss Forks. A lot.

Alice came over with Rose just like every Sunday. And they puzzled over why I hid in my room almost whole morning, coming out only when Edward finally arrived. No. Actually, I didn't even leave my room. We hung around in it. He looked out the window that splayed a part of the pool within the confides of the pane.

"You up for a swim?" He asked me, sitting next to me on the bed. I was fixing my iTunes. I was trying to distract myself that today is the day I turn 19.

"Huh?" I glanced up at him but continued to fix my songs. "Swim?" I said unmindfully, "Yeah. Sure. Just let me finish this."

Oscar Wilde...by...Company of Thieves...Pressure...by...Company of Thieves...I double-clicked Oscar Wilde (Acoustic) by Company of Thieves and it played out from my computer. I continued to fix my songs...French Navy, The Sweetest Thing...both by...Camera Obscura...

"Bella?" He shut my computer close.

"Hey! I was doing stuff there!" I almost scolded him.

"Yeah. I loved the song that you played. But! I've been calling your attention for the past five minutes. I've asked you to play football with me, you said yes. I've asked you to have lunch with me, you said yes. I've asked you to swim with me, you said yes! Bella, pay attention!" He searched for my eyes.

I looked straight at him.

"What's up? You're like on another planet. Is everything alright?" He took my chin between his fingers and turned my head to the side.

"I, uh," I was saved by the phone, that I borrowed from Jazz for the meantime, beeping. I swear, I was about to tell him that it is my birthday. But I couldn't. I was having a hard time. And since, the phone was on the table side next to Edward, he picked it up.

"Why would Emmett text you? Isn't he like next door?" He shook his head.

I shrugged and opened my notebook again, continuing with the songs.

"Wait. It's your birthday?" His eyes seemed like it was going to bulge out of their sockets.

"What? Who told you that?" I looked back at him. But I focused on his lips, instead of his eyes. Ooh. Pink, plump lips. Ha! I've kissed those before...when I was...drunk. Fail.

He waved the phone in front of me. The message read:

**Hey, birthday girl! Join us for a swim?**

I hurried off the bed to look out the window that Edward was looking out a while ago. Surely, they were there in their bikinis, waving at me, inviting us to go down. I turned around to shake my head but Edward's countenance caught me off guard. I had to laugh so hard. His eyes were wide and his mouth was hanging open. I went to close it and go back to fixing my songs. I was giving him time to compose himself.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He faced me when he's finally back on earth.

"Don't feel so bad. I didn't tell anybody. Jazz and Em happen to know it because we've been friends, since." I shrugged.

"I'm throwing you in the pool!" He threw me over his shoulder just like Emmett had nights ago.

I pounded my fist on his back but it didn't work. "Just don't tell Al and Rose! Please!" I'll take the pool. Alice and Rose? Out of the question. They're a force! He ran down the stairs and into the backyard. I was hearing 'woos' and whistles until the water drenched me. I swam up to the surface only to find them grouped together in front of me with a bottle of champagne. I groaned and sunk back into the water.

"She's not gonna last long. She'll come up for air." I heard Jasper say.

Oh Damn! I'm really running out of breath and I had to go up. When I did, though, I splashed them a wave.

"Bella! Why didn't you tell us anything?" Alice was shaking her head while she held a two-piece suit in between her two fingers.

"_Who_ told you?" I glared at her.

"Esme. She called to tell you happy birthday." She nodded while she pulled me out of the water. She wrapped me in a robe then she thrust the bathing suit in my hands.

Esme? How in the world? Oh. Right. My resume.

"My mom knew?" Edward whipped his head to me.

"I didn't know she knew!" I shrugged.

"Can you just put that on, now?" Alice had her hands on her hips. She pushed me into to the house and I hurried into the bathroom near the kitchen to change. It was late that I realized that I would be showing too much skin. I had on a simple dark brown bikini that clearly showed to much. For me, at least. I put back on the robe. I am not jumping into the pool another time.

I tried to run upstairs to my room. I went through my clothes for a pair of pants. I got my hands on a khaki cargo pants. I decided that was probably the best I could get. Now...I know there's a shirt somewhere near my bed. I ran to look for it there. I bent down to look under the bed and then I saw the door open and a pair of sneakers entered my room. I quickly kneeled and looked at who it was. EDWARD.

He laughed at me. Saying sorry and something about leaving his phone in here. I stood up and I found the shirt. I put it on and punched him on the biceps. Pretty sure didn't even hurt a bit. He laughed again and I ran back down to the pool. Alice practically scolded me for putting something on to hide the suit. So, hiding was useless. She was stripping me in no time. She took off my shirt and I held on to the button of my pants. Uh-uh. She's not taking that off.

"Come on, Bella. You should be happy, I didn't invite more." She swatted my hand away. She started unbuttoning the pants and it felt wrong. I decided, I'd do it instead.

"Alice! I think I can take off my clothes by myself." I blushed first before I closed my eyes and took off the last piece of clothing that would save me from embarrassment.

I heard Edward laugh before Jasper and Em whistled.

"See? They like bikini Bella." Rose kissed my cheek, "Happy Birthday!"

I rolled my eyes and groaned. They were also wearing bikinis. Rose had a red one while Alice went for a yellow one.

Alice gasped, "Bella! You didn't tell me you had a body of a Victoria's Secret Model."

Edward chuckled, "I agree."

I blushed. He'd seen more than this.

"I can't believe nothing ever happened to us!" Jasper teased.

"Perv!" I shouted at him and stuck my tongue out. They laughed.

"We technically grew up together and I never saw you naked. Sucks." Emmett pouted.

I glared at him then jumped in the pool. I couldn't take anymore of it. I stayed underwater for a good minute then came back up. I maintained to let the rest of my body under the water. Alice joined me after a while with Rose. I kept my distance. Who knows what they might do next. I stayed in the water until I was wrinkled and pruny. And until, Jazz and Em joined to play splash with the girls. Edward handed me a robe, so I was easily covered. How he got a robe for me, I don't exactly know.

I sat beside Edward on the bench and we watched the four splash around in the pool. I noticed that we were moving slowly towards one another. He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me even closer. I fit perfectly under his arm. And it felt...nice. Eventually, I leaned my head on shoulder.

"You aren't going to swim?" I asked him.

"I don't have spare clothes." His chest vibrated when he chuckled.

"Oh." My head fell back into his shoulder more and I closed my eyes. This feels nice. So nice, I might just fall asleep. And hell, I did. If there's anyone who sleeps during their birthdays, it's me.

I woke up a little later and I was already on my bed. And it was already dark. I rolled to my other side and I came face to face with Edward. My eyes widened and I pulled back a little. Our faces were mere inches from one another.

He smiled my favorite smile, "Hey."

I smiled back, "Hey."

"You want to have dinner? Out? Together?" His eyebrows shot up.

"Um...Sure." I was grinning this time. "Are the rest going to join us?"

"About that...I was thinking...that maybe...we could go...just us. The two of us." He shrugged.

Oh. So. Was he asking me out? "Sh-sure." I rolled back on my back. "Let me just get dressed." I stood up and took a bath to wash out the chlorine in my hair. I decided, I'd wear something casual. Grey skinnies, lose v-neck shirt and my favorite pair of black Chucks.

"Should I change?" I asked before I pocketed some money and my phone.

"No. You look adorable." He smiled that crooked smile.

* * *

_**Concerning about chapter sixteen, I'd like to apologize about that. All you ladies...if you witness anything like what happened to Bella, if you're a friend of somebody who went through the same, if that was you, which I wish wasn't. Please. Please. Please. Go to the cops immediately. File a report. Seek help. Bella was stupid and so was Edward. But this is fiction land. I know that's not a good excuse but it's true. Bella made a mistake and if you were in her shoes in real life, it shouldn't be yours, too. So, please, take care of yourselves.**_

_**Oh, and, school has started for me so my posts might be delayed and slow. And I'm sorry for that in advance. I have to balance things out. I hope you, guys, understand. :) Thanks for reading, reviewing and loving.**_

_**I love you, too. :)**_


	19. Chapter 19

**How To Become A Girl**

**Chapter Nineteen**

We had some dinner at a fancy restaurant and I instantly regretted not dressing up. I mean, who wouldn't? Everybody was in a cocktail dress or a suit. But Edward seemed fine with us. We didn't stay in the restaurant any longer and we went out to get some frozen yogurt. We had them just the same as last time. In general the...hmm...was this even a date? It was fun but I wouldn't want to call it a date yet unless Edward says so. Besides, he was the one who asked. We stopped by the apple store just before we headed back home.

"Go, look around. I'll just go get something." He smiled at me before disappearing.

I will be going back to Forks in a few weeks, I should get something for Charlie. I looked around...Macbooks, iPods, iPhones...God, I wouldn't be able to afford any of these. But I really want to get Charlie something.

"See anything you like?" A familiar voice asked from behind. I jumped at his stealth. He was good.

"Hmm...No...Not really. I was just thinking if I should get Charlie or something...But he's not really into technology, so..." I shrugged.

"Okay, then. We better head out. It's getting late." He wrapped an arm around my shoulder while we walked to his car. It really felt nice...just like this afternoon...had it really been just this afternoon? It feels like it's been days...

When we got to the car and I was finally buckled up and ready to go, he dropped a box on my lap before he started the car. I looked at it and tried to guess what it is...probably for Esme. Or Carlisle. Could be for anybody. It was a medium sized box and it was wrapped up in some white paper. Like bond paper. I giggled as I inspected it with my hands. It was bond paper. Then I stared at it more and I was creeped out by myself...how could I be staring strangely at a box? A simple white box? Maybe because I have a gut feeling it was for me. And it was strong.

He drove me back home and just before I handed back the box to him, he confirmed something, "That's for you."

I let out a sigh...I wasn't sure if it was of relief. I swallowed, "When did you get this? We were together the whole day..."

"Maybe if you open it, you'll figure it out." He smiled.

"Now?" I asked, looking up right smack into his gaze.

"If you want, sure." He shrugged.

I inhaled a whole lot of air, "Okay. Here goes..." I ripped open the paper wrapping and it was revealed. iPhone 3G S. I literally wanted to die in that moment. "Edward...this must cost a lot. I can't."

"Please." Was he pouting? And as cliche as it sounds, I couldn't resist that look and tone of voice. "I saw you with your music and you love music and I thought I should just buy you an iPod but where's the fun in that? So, tada, an iPhone."

I looked back at him. I wanted to squeal and jump and kiss and hug him. Okay...maybe the kiss and hug was too much but...that's how I really felt.

"You can just transfer your sim and your done." He smiled again. "Oh and you can sync it in your computer and get all those tracks you have in that thing."

"I can't believe you! But thanks. Really. Thank you so much." I was grinning now. Wow. I own an iPhone 3G S. I never ever thought about owning one.

"Welcome." He bowed his head and looked up at me again. He smiled one last time before he got out of the car. I was able to get out of the car before he got to my side. He looked defeated. I smirked. We got into the house and it was empty.

"Huh. They're all out." I looked around the living room and kitchen hoping to see them before I head for bed. I yawned, "I'm really tired." We trudged up the stairs and when I opened the door to my room, they were all there with a chocolate cake in Alice's hands.

"Happy birthday!" They shouted and whistled.

"Oh my god!" I laughed. I'm just so happy, I didn't know what to do first. Do I shout as well? Jump? Hug? Kiss? Squeal? I placed the box on my bedside table and my hands found their way into my hair. I gripped tighter while I grinned.

"You have to wish and blow the candles!" Rosalie took one of my hands and pulled me nearer to the cake.

I stared at the candles for a few seconds before I actually thought about what to wish for. Edward placed both his hands on either of my shoulders and squeezed it a little. I turned my head and I met his eyes. I gave him a smile before I turned back to face the candles. Tightly, I shut my eyes and I wished.

I wished for a better relationship with Edward. Right now, it was the only thing I could wish for.

I blew out the candles and they cheered. Then something clicked. I turned a full 180 and faced Edward. "Is this why you took me out?"

"Hmm. Partially." He chuckled. And I thought that was our first date!

I gasped and everybody else laughed. Emmett gave me a bear hug while Jasper kissed me on the forehead. He was just that touchy feely. Alice and Rose gave me, each, a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you so much!" I bounced on the bed.

"I wished it was a Saturday so we could've done more." Alice pouted.

"I think it was nice that my birthday's on a Sunday. Only God knows what you could've done!" I laughed. She stuck her tongue out at me then laughed, too.

"True." She said. "Anyway, we better get going. It's a school day tomorrow. I'll have Dorota keep this." She lifted the cake a little and hurried out of the room with Jasper rushing out a goodnight to me. Rose and Em said goodnights as well and soon, it was just me and Edward.

"I guess, you're just waiting for me to tuck you in bed?" He asked casually.

"Yeah. Let me change first." I smiled. I exchanged my jeans and shirt for a tank top and a pair of plaid pajamas for bed. I washed my face and and brushed my teeth before I went back on the bed. Edward was already there, under the sheets just waiting for me. I smiled. I joined him and he pulled the covers up.

"Goodnight." He whispered as he locked his arms around me, my back to him.

"Goodnight and...thanks." I whispered back before I fell asleep.

The next morning, I was surprised to find Edward's arms still locked around me. I wasn't expecting him to stay until Monday morning and yet, here he is. It was still early but I couldn't go back to sleep, so I decided to get ready for the day. I shook him a little and he released me from his tight grip. I took a bath and I put on some comfy clothes. I'm starting to love skinny jeans so I put on my black pair and a gray t-shirt. After I was done cleaning myself up, I woke Edward up and I let him use my bathroom. I handed him the clothes he lent me when I stayed over his house. I've brought them here and I've let Dorota send it to the cleaners. It was just now that I remembered to give it back to him. He showered and he used his clean clothes while he bagged his dirty clothes and we headed out for school.

School was slow, just the same. I counted the seconds left until work. I wasn't surprised with myself doing that anymore. Now that I know why I counted. I liked work better than school.

Edward picked me up just like every afternoon and work was like every work day. Nothing special. I was a little excited with dinner, though. I missed Esme so much! Edward brought us dinner, veggie salad. We decided to try out Esme's constant dinner.

"So, Bella...how have you been?" Esme put in a forkful of greens in her mouth.

"Better. A lot better. Edward's a good doctor slash caretaker." I let out a short laugh. _He has the potential to be a good boyfriend, too._

"Well, that's good. He got that from his father." She ruffled his hair and he grinned. Edward liked being close to his mom, that I noticed. Whenever his mom would say something good about him he would grin like a kid and it makes me wonder how his parents could've hated him for a time when they're obviously proud of him. So proud.

I smiled at Esme and she shot another question, "Do you already have plans for Thanksgiving?"

They both leaned forward, waiting for my answer.

"I'm going to go back to Forks. Visit my dad." I shrugged taking another bite. "I've kind of missed Forks a lot. I need to see more green." I was half-lying without even knowing it. I think the green of both their eyes were enough but that kind of green wasn't really what I was missing right now.

"Oh. Wow." Esme smiled.

"So, you're going away for a week?" Edward asked this time.

"Yeah." I nodded and took another forkful and a sip of my drink.

"You're going to leave me?" Edward asked seriously, as if I was really going to leave him and never coming back.

I wanted to tell him that it won't be that long but his question definitely surprised me. It was as if we had an official romantic relationship which was...not so clear right now.

"Aw. Missing me already?" I teased and Esme giggled.

Edward pouted and I laughed with Esme. She dropped her fork and clapped her hands, catching both mine and Edward's attention. "Ah!" She exclaimed. "Remember how we spent our Thanksgiving in Texas last year?" She turned to Edward.

Edward's whole face lit up in realization. "Can we go to Forks? Please, please, please?" He was pleading and he looked cute. _Cute? What the-? Where did that come from?_

Esme laughed again. I'm happy that she's happy. She really seemed elated. "Of course, your father and I have been considering of getting a house there. I hear it's very nice and serene there. This would be the perfect opportunity to really see Forks."

I hadn't noticed that I've been grinning like Garfield. "Th-that's great!" Honestly, I was a bit nervous of having them around Forks. They just feel different than the people there.

"I'll need your help in finding a place to stay at. I couldn't exactly convince Aunt Lena to have us stay over at their place." Esme shook her head.

Edward face looked confused. So I explained to him that Aunt Lena was Jasper's grandparents. His lips turned into that perfect o-shape and I wanted to kiss him right then and there but I had better self-control. _Oh god! This can't be good._

"I can ask my dad if he knows any good place to stay at." I offered and Esme gave me a thank you.

"Can you be my tour guide then?" Edward asked me. His eyebrows shot up and he was smiling...hopefully?

Surely, I can ask for a few hours from Charlie, right? "Sure. There's nothing to see really besides the forests." I told him.

"Forests are interesting. I wanted to get married in the middle of the forest." Esme said as-a-matter-of-factly. "Anyway, Bella, I need you to call one of our clients and tell her that her request for design is up and ready for evaluation." She said as she stood up to throw away her empty salad plate.

I nodded at her and finished the last forkfuls of my salad. Dinner finished too soon and I was back to work. Edward helped around and he studied, on his own will, about stuff that doctors study.

"Why don't you spend time in the hospital? Even it's just during your free time. They don't need to pay you, just for experience and fun. Offer help. Your dad works there, I'm sure he'll let you." I suggested when we were back on our desk.

"Huh." He looked at me. "Great idea. Thanks." He smiled.

The 3 hours remaining had been the same. The rest of the night felt ordinary. Edward tucked me in bed but had to leave immediately because he took my suggestion and now he's eager to talk to his dad. I let him, I mean, I suggested, right? I should allow him? Hell! He doesn't even need my permission! Why am I doing this to myself? We are not romantically involved with each other. We're just...friends. Best friends at most. And the moment I convinced myself that, which was right after he gave me a goodnight kiss on the forehead and left, I felt my whole body slump sadly on the bed.

My new phone, thanks to Edward, rang and I saw 'Dad' flashing on the screen. I quickly picked it up. I missed my dad. I got so used to him being always there when I felt bad about myself.

"Hey dad." I greeted quietly.

"Hey buddy. You sound bad. Is something wrong? Did they ruin your birthday?" He asked worriedly.

"No. Actually, I had a great time yesterday. Edward gave me an iPhone. So, I'm definitely good." I lied to him. My conscience messed with me right after. I couldn't lie to my dad. That was one thing I just couldn't do. I love him too much to do that. But...I can't just tell him how I'm feeling, right? I mean, how do I explain something to someone when I can't even smooth it out to myself, on my own. But I had to lie. I'd just have to explain it to him when I'm done telling myself the truth which is...

"An iPhone? Wow! You've got great friends there. I'm glad they're taking care of you." He sounded fatherly and I felt like I was six again. "So did you play the traditional cop and robbers?"

"Dad." I laughed. "That has been out since two years ago!" Yes. At fifteen, I was still playing that game. What? It was fun chasing each other around the lawn with water guns.

"I know, I know. I was just kidding. I missed your laugh. The house seems dull without it." He told me.

"Don't worry. I'll be back in no time to refill the house with my wonderful laugh. Two weeks, dad, two weeks." I said weakly. I couldn't wait for two more weeks. I wanted to just get away from here from all the drama here. But then I realized, the Cullens will be joining me. Oh. Such joy.

"I can't wait." Dad murmured.

"Me too. Oh, hey dad. Edward's family kind of wanted to visit Forks for Thanksgiving. Would you know any good place to lodge at?" I asked him.

"I don't know, Bells. But since that vampire movie came out, a lot of people have been visiting this place. Remember, two years ago this place seemed like a ghost town? Well, now, it's filled with tourists! And since it's Thanksgiving, I doubt there'll be any vacant decent rooms." He informed.

"Oh." I tried to think up of another place for them to stay at, probably an old house that has been vacated.

"I have an idea, though, if it's alright with you." He said. I wasn't sure what he meant by 'if it's alright with you' but it wouldn't hurt to hear it.

"Okay..." I trailed.

"We can let them stay in the cabin." He suggested.

Ah. Yes. The cabin. We weren't that rich and my dad couldn't exactly afford to leave town so he made a cabin with the help of Billy just at the end of our backyard which was a couple of houses away from our house. He designed it differently every year, depending on which "country" we were going to "visit". I loved him for that. I loved him so much for that. He was the greatest dad ever. I never thought he'd put through all that crap for me. As I understood more and more each year, I started learning the different cuisine cultures so that I'd cook. We stopped just a couple years back, though, because he was busier, with being promoted as Chief of Police of Forks, Washington. And he let Em, Jazz and I use the cabin for our own fun with him occasionally joining.

"I'm totally okay with that. What do you think?" I asked him back.

"Fine with me. I just have to clean it up a bit."

"It's settled then. Thanks dad." I smiled.

"Alright, buddy. You know I have to say goodnight now. Goodnight, Bella."

"Yes. Goodnight, dad." I whispered before I hang up.

The cabin was a bungalow with two rooms, a small living room with a fireplace, a small kitchen and a small dining table with four chairs. It was a log cabin so it felt real and very Forks. Charlie was never successful in changing the Fork-like feeling to something very foreign but I never told him that. It was perfect for me and Charlie, for a small group of friends, for a small family, preferably having only one child. It was perfect for a couple.

Then it struck me. I could use that for my project! And just as I realized that, I was left with all my old memories with that cabin...letting me fall into a deep slumber.


	20. Chapter 20

_**I got a message/review suggesting for an Edward's POV. I'm sorry for the late respond. I couldn't decide properly on which chapter to give to him. But this came to be and now is just perfect.**_

_**So, readers, this is Edward Cullen himself, ready to enlighten you.**_

**How To Become A Girl**

**Chapter Twenty**

I watched Bella as she slept beside me in this airplane. Her head leaned on my chest as she snuggled closer to me and I wrapped an arm around her fragile little form.

From the first time I've touched Bella, I knew right then and there that I have fallen in love. She was beautiful. And not just ordinary, typical hollywood kind of beauty. She was different. That was how she was beautiful. The first time I saw her, though, I couldn't exactly say if she was a guy or a girl. She was hiding underneath all those clothes and baseball cap that disguised her very well. Her voice was kind of low and husky but yet sexy at the same time. I thought she was gay. And then, I finally had some time alone with here and I was fascinated with her cherry tricks. Wasn't it said that if you can tie a knot with a cherry stem, you're a good kisser? Well she lived up to that. She was awesome. She kissed me suddenly and I felt that electricity pass between us. It was so fast that it was too late to ditch the sex. It was hot and sexy...and drunkenly fantastic and I felt bad about that fact. More was that I had the guts to ditch her simply because I couldn't fall in love with her.

First and foremost was because I _was_ still with Tanya. And I know better than to cheat but I had, hadn't I? Yes. We had a one night stand and I tried my best to apologize to her. To try to make it up to her and I think luck was really just with me and she landed the job my mother had been offering. Even I was surprised that she was in the office for an interview wearing a tight skirt, a lightweight blouse and a pair of killer heels. I had to hold back so hard. And then she was mad at me. And I couldn't take it. I couldn't. So I did everything to regain her back and start all over again. And thank god she forgave me.

Second, I couldn't fall in love with her simply because...I'm not good for her. I had a history with drugs and I couldn't...I'm a bad person. She's a good person. I mean the fact that I sort of took advantage of her drunken state almost a couple of months back proves that I am not good for her and yet here she is. Receiving me wholly for who I am. Someone like me doesn't deserve something like this. If only my mom wasn't so interested in her and I was in my right mind, I would've discontinued our friendship. But I couldn't because I love her. I can't let her go.

And I'm a coward...I can't tell her I love her and I can't also run away from her. I'm a coward. I can only cherish this for now until she realizes what I am. How bad I am especially for her. And she'd take action and run away...

She moved and moaned. Her eyes fluttered open and I gave her a smile. She smiled back in time with the stewardess announcing landing. She sat up straight and I buckled both our seatbelts. Mom and dad turned their heads to check up on us one last time. I gave them a nod and a smile. They smiled back before looking back ahead. I turned my head to check on Jasper and Emmett. They were buckling their seatbelts.

We landed and Bella's small smile turned to a smile of excitement. It made me smile, too. I'm excited to know more about her. She only revealed so much about her past. She seals her lips when we're on her side of the boat. But I'll wait until she's ready, I told myself.

She only had a backpack with her while Mom, Dad and I had, each, a suitcase. Jazz and Em also had backpacks with them.

"I'll take your bag." I pulled on it and she slid it off her shoulders. I stood beside her and my parents were behind us talking about Forks already. They haven't even seen the outside!

She gave me her bag and she continued to look around. Some of the people looked at her weirdly. Like they know her but not. She turned around to face me with a pout. She was frustrated.

"Hey buddy." A good looking man with a distinct mustache greeted from behind her. He was wearing a flannel shirt over a gray one and a pair of jeans. He also wore what looked like a pair of hiking boots.

"Dad!" She almost shouted and her small arm wrapped around her dad's waist and he hugged her back and kissed her hair. "I missed you so much." Bella said to him.

"Me too." He rubbed her back. They stayed like that for a few seconds until Charlie pulled away and nodded towards us, "Are they with you? Where are Jasper and Emmett?"

"Oh yeah. Dad, this is Edward, Esme and Carlisle." She pointed at us in introduction. Us, three, shook his hand and Em and Jazz gave him a hug each.

"Chief Swan!" They both greeted with grins on their faces.

Bella's father's eyes narrowed into slits and he formally uttered, "Whitlock, McCarty. How many times have I told you not to call me Chief?"

Bella laughed along with Jazz and Em. My family smiled at the exchange.

"Just teasin' Charlie." Emmett said.

"I know." He chuckled. "Anyway, we better get going. Jazz your keys." He threw a set to Jasper and Emmett went with him. I volunteered to go with them while my parents went with Bella and Charlie.

When we got in Jasper's car, I took pointers from Jazz and Em on what to expect. It was simple. This town is a fairly good town with a simple culture. Charlie was very friendly and warm like Bella as we reached their house. Jazz and Em went ahead to their homes and Charlie lead us to the back towards the cabin. Bella has explained this to me when she told us about it and it was even more beautiful than I imagined. It blended well with the forest and Esme loved it. I took one room and they took the other. Bella and Charlie waited in the living room while we settled.

"Let's have dinner?" Charlie invited and we headed into their house. It was bigger than the cabin but it was definitely smaller than our houses in New Hampshire. The walls were yellow and white. And it felt like I'm in a different place compared to the outside. It was cloudy and it was already dusk.

My parents helped him out in the kitchen as they cooked and I stayed in the living room. They didn't want me to help. Bella was up in her room settling stuff down. I looked at some of the pictures. One was of Charlie with a pretty red-headed girl. One was of a little boy with girlish features. But the kid's hair was cut really short and he seemed familiar. Bella never told me he had a brother. One was of two kids. Both of them were boys and the other one was fairly bigger than the other. And one was of Bella, Emmett, Jazz and Charlie. Charlie and Bella looked so alike but she also looked like the red-headed girl. I realized that the red-head might be her mother.

I heard her footsteps down the stairs and I stood straight up and smiled at her. She came at my side and took the picture of the couple. "That's my mom. She's pretty, isn't she?" Her voice had a hint of sadness in it.

"Very. But not as pretty as you." I told her and she blushed. I loved it when she blushed. I smirked and I pointed at the unknown little boy. "You never told me you had a brother."

She laughed. Very hard and loud. "That's not my brother. That's...That's..." She managed to choke out in between her musical laughs. "me."

"Oh. You looked cute back then. I'm sorry." I told her as I laughed with her. I gave her a hug and quickly pulled away but her arm was still wrapped around my waist so I kept mine wrapped around her, too.

"Yeah. Dad wanted to cut my hair all the time. That's Emmett." She pointed at the bigger kid in the other picture. "We've known each other since kindergarten."

Charlie checked up on us and said, "What are you laughing at?"

"Dad. Edward thought I was a boy."

Charlie laughed and announced dinner. We went to their little dining room. Dinner was served and it was delicious. Charlie seemed to get along very well with my mother and father. Bella and I talked about stuff to see around here which attracted the parent's attention and we all talked. When we finished dinner, Bella asked me to tuck her in bed just as usual so I let mom and dad go ahead and hit the sack.

I looked around Bella's room as she cleaned up in the bathroom. I had to strip off my clothes, except my boxers of course, and join her in bed. I waited for her to fall asleep before I left. I was certain that Charlie would see me leave the house in the wee hours of the morning and I was nervous. How do I explain to him this? But good thing he wasn't anywhere downstairs...or maybe I just didn't see him. But I didn't have to confront him so that's cool, I guess.

The next day, I went out with Jazz, Em and Bella to the hottest spots for people our age. Charlie took charge of my parents and I was grateful for that. We ate at their local diner and we bumped into one of their friends.

"Bella?" A girl with dark hair and rimmed glasses stood shocked as we entered the diner.

"Ange!" Bella ran from my side and hugged her.

"Bella! I can't believe that's you! Since when did you start wearing skinnies and almost see through shirts? And where's your usual baseball cap?" She said in one breath.

Ah. Bella was a tomboy. Yeah. I saw that during the party. Jasper and Emmett laughed at her and they motioned that they were going to look for an empty booth. I walked to Bella, standing next to her.

"Well, I met a designer in college and she forced me into these. They're not so bad. So, how are you, Angela?" Bella asked her.

She was looking up at me with a shocked look. I smiled at her trying to soothe her but it only made it worse. Finally, Bella realized and she introduced us to each other. Angela only smiled and took notice of my nearness to Bella. Her eyes narrowed into slits for a millisecond at me then returned to conversing with Bella. Bella pointed to Jazz and Em at one corner and they waved at each other. Bella smiled one last time before saying goodbye to Angela. She pulled me to the booth and ordered. I ordered what she ordered.

"So, Angela was saying something about sort of a reunion at the La Push beach and she said we were definitely invited."

"Cool. I'm going since Rose won't be here until after Thanksgiving which is on Sunday." Emmett shrugged.

"Yeah. Me too." Jasper looked at Emmett.

"Okay. I don't know..." Bella trailed off glancing between me and her friends.

"Bella. If you're deciding not to go because of me. Don't. Just go. I'll stay at the house." I told her.

"He can come, I guess." Jasper said and our orders arrived in.

"Okay. We have to be there tonight. God, time's so fast." Bella said and we all laughed.

We went around some more after lunch and just before dusk we went back to Bella's house. It was cold, especially at night so we all changed. Jasper and Emmett went ahead of us to the party. I forgot to pack thick clothes and the only thick piece of shit I have here is my leather jacket. I had to settle for it. I went for some dark jeans and a gray shirt and the leather jacket, not knowing what to expect at the beach party. Bella went with a tight knitted long-sleeve red sweater and a pair of dark skinny jeans. She was also wearing a new pair of denim Chucks. I offered to drive but she wouldn't let me and I realized that her truck was like my Volvo. The truck fit Bella perfectly and it was amusing.

She drove to the destination quietly, speaking only when I asked her about her truck.

"My dad gave it to me two years ago. He bought it from Billy." That was her only line. I didn't know if she was feeling bad or anything but I'd rather not ask. She'll tell me if she wants to. We parked near the shore and we could see a bonfire blazing right smack in the center of a group of people. Mostly of Bella's age. She got out of the car and she crossed her arms in front of her and I gave her a hug to warm her up a little. She smiled a little before she pulled away and looked for Jazz and Em. I saw her stiffen and a blonde guy who was just a little taller than her were coming towards us.

She turned around to face me with a worried look on her face. "Just follow my lead." She said. I nodded and she faced the blonde guy.

"Bella! Wow." He greeted her, purposely ignoring me. He eyed one of Bella's arm that was wrapped around my waist and my arm wrapped around hers.

"Mike." She said flatly.

"You...look great." He looked like he saw a celebrity.

"Thanks." Bella nodded.

"Um. Um...Do you want to...um...hang out while you're here?" He asked nervously.

"No thank you, Mike. This is Edward by the way." Bella told him and I extended out my hand for a handshake. He took it with his clammy hands just as Bella said more, "My boyfriend."

I felt like screaming happily when she said that but I had to remind myself that we were just pretending. But I'll get what I can get. "Nice to meet you." I told him and he stiffened. We told him that we'll see him around and we walked closer to Jazz and Em still holding tightly to each other.

"He's kind of my stalker back in highschool but he never asked me out. Like I told you, Riley was the first." She explained. I laughed quietly and she nudged me in the ribs. Then a blonde hair girl who awfully reminded me of Tanya was nearing us, we had to stop walking.

"Lauren." Bella said, her voice full of annoyance.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't you..." Lauren looked at her from head to toe. I suddenly had the urge to hold her closer and protect her from this Tanya-like creature. All Tanya-like creatures are not worth anything.

"I don't feel like punching you right now but if you persist, I might just." Her grip around my waist was slowly tightening. But I didn't mind.

Lauren shifted her eyes towards me and she licked her chapped lips sloppily. I gulped and my hold around Bella was tightening, too. "Ooh. Hottie. How much did she pay you? I can pay you more."

"Excuse me?" I asked her, shocked. Bella's gaze whipped to me and I looked back at her. "Bella and I are together. Very much together."

"I doubt it. Bella's not interested in guys. She's not even interested in girls. I don't know what she is. I can give you a much better time." She said, trying to be seductive as she took a step closer to me.

Bella gasped and I scoffed, "I am in love with Bella and, trust me, she's given me the best time in the world." Bella's eyes widened at me and I gave her my smile.

"Whatever." She muttered and rolled her eyes. Finally, getting frustrated with this Lauren, I leaned towards Bella and I caught her lips between mine. Her hands found their way to my hair and my hands landed on her hips. We deepened the kiss and we went for tongue. We forgot we had an audience. And as her nails scraped on my scalp, I knew I had to stop or else, I wouldn't be able to. It was like every nerve in my body blazed. It was like one of the first moments I touched her. A very distinct energy surged through us. And I enjoyed it very much.

She smiled against my lips and muttered, "Thank you."

"It was my pleasure." I smiled at her, too.

She turned to Lauren who had her jaw on the ground. And she closed Lauren's mouth, "Keep it closed, Lauren. That's a major turn off for guys." Lauren stared at us and we walked past her finally getting to Jazz and Em.

"Bella! You are not going to believe who's here." Emmett pulled her from my side and I noticed another guy. He was tall. Taller than Emmett. He had long black hair that was tied up into a pony tail. His eyes were dark, they were almost black. Bella blushed when she saw him.

"Jake!" She greeted, somewhat shocked.

"Bella! How are you?" He eyed her lustly from head to toe.

They gave each other a quick hug and I tried to maintain my cool. _I'm not a jealous guy, I'm not a jealous guy, I'm not a jealous guy. Okay, okay! I am. Damn. If only he didn't look at her like that._

"I'm good. You?" Bella answered.

"I'm attending college at UCLA. Pretty cool." He said.

"Nice." She said and they talked more.

I turned around, my back to them and watched all the other people. Jazz gave me a pat on the back and I looked at him.

"They used to have a crush on each other back in middle school. But they never had the guts to go out." He took a peak and they were still talking.

"Ah." I crossed my arms and kicked the sand lightly.

"You okay, man?" He asked.

"Yeah. Just tired, I guess." I shrugged.

"You can take my car." He offered. I contemplated on it but I cannot run away from Bella. I won't do it again. Especially just because I'm a little jealous. I'm a better man than that.

"Naw. I'm good. I can wait for her." I knew that my last statement had more meaning to it. I turned to check up on them and they were laughing, their heads closer than usual. I let them talk and laugh, wishing they'd finish soon.

Angela came up to me and said hi. She looked for Bella and I pointed to them behind me. Before she could ask about anything else, she was pulled away by a guy named Ben. They finished talking and Bella came to me looking tired. I suggested we go home now and she agreed. She let me drive the truck. I parked it where it was before and I kept my arms wrapped around Bella as we walked into her house. We greeted Charlie along the way but other than that, I haven't really spoken to her. I let her clean up and I sat on the rocking chair at the corner.

"Edward? Are you okay?" She asked as she settled in bed.

"Yeah." I removed my leather jacket and my jeans before I joined her in bed.

"No you're not." She knew me too well. "You haven't spoken to me since the kiss. I'm sorry about that. You didn't have to..." She whispered.

"But I wanted to." The words escaped my lips too soon.

She sighed next to me and I pulled her closer to me. "Are you...jealous of Jake?"

"No." I said flatly.

She chuckled beside me and say, "Don't worry about it. I had a crush on him back in middle school...I'm way past that now."

"Good to know." I murmured lowly hoping that she didn't hear it. She sunk into my arms more and after a while I knew she was asleep already. I slid out and placed a pillow on my spot. I put my clothes back on before I gave her a kiss on the forehead. I sneaked out just like yesterday. Good thing, I didn't see Charlie again.


	21. Chapter 21

**How To Become A Girl**

**Chapter Twenty One**

I woke up without Edward next to me and the smell of bacon in the air. I went over what happened last night. He said he had wanted to kiss me. What did that mean? I think he also said 'Good to know' when I told him I was way past Jake. What did that mean? And I think we might've had a subtle declaration last night but I won't overthink it. I washed my face and brushed my teeth before heading down.

"Goodmorning." Charlie greeted with a smile on his face.

"Morning. How was your day with the couple?" I asked him as I sat on my usual seat leaning myself on the table.

"Fun. We had a, uh...what do you call that? When two couples go out...?" He asked me as he split the bacon into two sets.

"Double date." I yawned and he slid a plate towards me.

"Yeah. A double date. They're a good pair. They were talking about getting a place here so I suggested some lots that were for sale. There was one right smack in the middle of the forest and Esme wanted to talk to the owner right away. Sue and Esme got on very quickly. Carlisle is a good man. If ever they move here, Forks would be so lucky." He put a whole bacon in his mouth. "So, did you also have a double date yesterday or a triple date?"

A triple date? I just had to laugh. My dad is crazy adorable. "A double date with Jazz and Em as a couple. You know they make a good one." I said smirkingly.

He laughed and when it finally died down, he seriously asked me, "Bella? I'd understand why you wouldn't tell me but...is Edward your boyfriend? I mean, I saw him sneak out of the house at night for the past two days. And you're always together."

I swallowed, "Umm...I'm not sure. He's not my boyfriend. Yet...I don't know, dad. We're still figuring it out."

"Well, whatever your choice is...just be careful. And of course, I'll support. Edward seems like he's a good guy." He nodded.

"Yeah...yeah, he is." I agreed.

Since Charlie and I took yesterday to go fishing in the morning, we were having free days today. And because tomorrow's Thanksgiving dinner over at Jasper's place was inviting the Cullens, my dad had to help out with all the preparations. Every year, we'd have Thanksgiving, there would only be three families, The Swans, the McCartys and The Hardys (Jasper's mom's side of the family) but this year, we're inviting the Cullens and the Clearwaters. I lounged around the house, just getting the feel of my old life back and realizing that I missed it. So badly.

Edward joined me during the middle of the day and I showed him more pictures of my past, finally telling him my story. My mom. My highschool life. The feel of having a single parent through my whole life. Being scared even though I show that I am not. And how I loved watching the stars because they're the most peaceful sight in this universe. And then I had an idea. I quickly put back all the albums in the shelf and I pulled Edward out into the back and walked past the cabin. It was just around twilight. It's the perfect time. We walked into the forest and I stopped at the small spot where the ray of the sun shone on the ground, showing the most beautiful wild flowers I've ever seen. It was a space that, by some magical force, the trees avoided, creating a little spot where if you look up, you'll see the whole sky.

"I come here every time I feel like thinking...which is most of the time, actually." I chuckled.

"Wow." He gasped. "This is so beautiful."

I smiled, "I found this when I was 10. The first time, my father talked about my mother to me. Just telling me everything about her. It made me realize how much I lost."

"It's so peaceful." He looked around.

I took a spot on the ground and lied down. "One time, I fell asleep here and I can tell you that I've never slept better. This is like heaven to me."

I invited him to lie beside me and he did. He admired the flowers. And the way he closed his eyes as he inhaled the refreshing aroma was just very adorable. The way he smiled as he lied on his back was just stunning. The dark replaced the light and the stars twinkled like diamonds in the sky. I shook him and I pointed up the sky. We were now both lying on our backs just admiring everything. Even after all this years, this place still amazes me.

"The stars...are just...they're too beatiful for words. The sky is a form of art. Creating pictures through stars." I whispered and I watched him smile and simply gaze up.

He was too beautiful for words. Clearly, he's a form of art. The way his features created one hell of a good looking guy was just unbelievable. Edward turned to look at me and our eyes met. His eyes told so much. You'll see so much of Edward in them. They revealed everything. They were amazing and amusing. I never expected so much from a pair of green eyes. But these eyes are not just eyes. They're Edward's eyes. And I saw in them what he was hiding from me. His eyes twinkled with the stars and I knew then...I hoped then that he felt the same because, god...I'm falling in love with Edward Cullen.

I blinked making sure that I haven't fallen asleep yet and he gave me a smile. "This is amazing. I could stay here forever."

"Me too." I smiled back.

"_We_ could stay here forever." He twined our fingers together and kissed the back of my hand.

My dad drove us in my truck to the the Hardys while Jazz came over to take the Cullens. My dad turned on the old radio and we both sang along to a couple of songs by the Beatles'. I missed times like this. I miss my dad. And I still can't believe how everything has changed. Alice called me this afternoon just to make sure, I wore a dress to the Thanksgiving dinner. It ended just above my knees and it was red. Like blood red. It surprised my dad. It surprised me. I didn't even know how it got into my backpack. Although, I have a gut feeling that Alice did put it there.

I worried about the dress being strapless and my father, being the protective guy, handed me my mother's old beige trenchcoat. I loved it, so I decided to keep it.

We arrived later than everybody else, and I was greeted by Gramma Lena. I never really saw my grandparents. So, I was glad that Gramma Lena was willing to fill that spot for me. It was just right as Jasper's technically family.

"Bella, darling. How are you?" She smiled, showing her perfect fake teeth.

"Gramma! I'm good. How are you?" I gave her a hug.

"I'm missing Jasper. I always am." Her face turned sad for a moment before returning back to the smile.

"How's Grampi doing?" I asked her.

"He keeps your father company at times. Fine, I guess." She turned to me.

"That's good." I wrapped an arm around her as I lead her back into the house.

Aunt Sophie and Uncle Jack, Emmett's parents, greeted me next. I took off my coat and hung it on the coat rack.

"Bella! Is this what New Hampshire has done to you? I've never seen you in a dress before." Aunt Sophie looked at me from head to toe.

"Well, she's growing into a lovely lady, isn't she?" Uncle Jack gave me a kiss on the forehead.

"Thank you." I blushed.

"We better head to the dining. Our visitors are waiting." Aunt Sophie grabbed my hand and I almost tripped in these shoes. Yes, I've learned to pair a dress with heels. They were red, too! Oh, what joy!

Carlisle and Esme were already seated down next to my dad and Sue. Aunt Sophie and Uncle Jack took their seats with Gramma Lena. The kitchen door swung and laughter filled the room. Emmett, Jasper and Grampi waved, smiled and nodded at me before taking their seats. My eyes travelled to Edward who was talking to Leah. Seth was quietly waiting in his seat, clearly showing a shy persona.

I felt my insides twist. I didn't know why, though. But somehow, the sight of Edward and Leah made me want to throw up. He hadn't even noticed me!

I took my seat between Em and Jazz, just right in front of Seth. "Hey." I greeted the boy.

His eyes flickered to mine before staring back at his empty plate. He is shy. But I thought, I heard him mutter a greeting, too. I tried to keep up a smile while the food was passed around and while I waited for Edward to notice me. I knew it was pretty immature to want that...but I never felt that way and I can't control shit.

"So...I heard..." Leah trailed, "is it true?" Her eyes bore into mine with anger? Jealousy?

"What's true?" I asked her and Edward finally turned to me. He was staring and I had to stifle back a laugh.

"That Edward's your boyfriend." She answered back. The whole dining table hushed down to look at us. My dad looked confused. "I bet it isn't, is it?"

"Umm..." My voice shook and my face turned red. I looked down and fiddled with my fork, trying to look for an answer. _What exactly were we?_

I looked up to gauge each and every face around the table. Some were intrigued but most showed happiness just like my father's face. I looked at Edward. He was still staring at me but this time, his face looked like it had a big question mark stuck on it. Shouldn't he know, too?

"Maybe." My voice was small and I wished I had answered yes.

Edward gave me a small smile before going back to eating. But Leah, being the bitch that she is, she drilled into the topic more.

"How is it 'maybe'?" She asked.

"Well..." I was lost again. _How was it 'maybe' again?_

"We're still trying to figure things out." Edward answered, a little annoyed. _What's wrong? I thought, he liked Leah's company! Yeah. In exchange for mine._ "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to talk to Bella for a while." He stood up from his chair. I followed suit.

Dad freely gave us the time, even saying, "Sure thing, son." He just called Edward, 'son'! Okay. Maybe I'm freaking out a little...

I headed out to the back, making sure we're out of sight to them. Edward followed closely behind. There were a few awkward seconds between us, wherein I was looking down on the ground and I felt like his eyes were latching themselves on me. He finally made the first move by pulling me into a hug.

"Bella?" He tilted my head up, making me look at him straight in the eyes, while keeping me in his arms.

"Yeah?" I whispered.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

Honestly, I didn't know how to answer that question, right now. So, I simply closed my eyes.

"Bella. Look at me. Please?" Now, who could resist that? Ugh! I hated it when he used that fucking sexy voice at me. No. Not really. Depending on the situation, I guess? "You do know, you look beautiful? Especially under the moonlight." He whispered.

"Oh, come on, Edward. Really?" I laughed. "Why are you so mushy?"

"Glad, I amuse you." He smiled my favorite smile and I couldn't help but feel better. Way better.

"Fine. You do, okay? There. You happy now?" I giggled. I know, I _giggled_.

"Very much." He kissed my hair before letting me go. "So...am I your boyfriend?"

"Hmmm...Maybe. Look, I don't think, this is the best place to discuss this." I looked back down.

"I know. I was just kidding. 'Maybe' will be alright. For now." He smirked.

I tried shoving his shoulder but he caught my hand. From then on, he never let it go unless we needed to part ways. I think it was sweet. I knew all these people, my family, were watching our every move. Especially Leah, who obviously wanted to get some from Edward. But he's more than just a one night stand and I hated it that she looked at him that way. Honestly, I don't know how Sue turned out to be her mother. They were two completely different people. Sue was...like Esme in many ways. She was very maternal, sweet, soft spoken and caring. I was glad my father had her and Seth, too. Seth was really really shy but Edward was able to make him talk and even laugh that night. So, all's well on Thanksgiving night.

The next day, Rosalie finally arrived in town. She also wanted to live here. She said it was so secluded, she loved it. Her words, not mine. We caught up with her in the airport with a jumpy Emmett and a sad looking Jasper and I could see why. Emmett had Rosalie, now. And I had...Edward. But Jazz was alone. I bet Alice was, too. He tried not to dwell on that fact much and so I suggested that all three of them go have fun somewhere else while me and Rosalie could go to some spa or something.

"Bella!" Rosalie hugged me tight once we were alone. We've taken her to meet our parents and to drop her load in Emmett's house. The McCartys just about loved every bit of her.

"Rose." I smiled.

"I like it here so much! It's so different from California!" She said enthusiastically.

"Isn't it?" I laughed.

"Yeah. And I love Em's parents. They're so...interested in me in a different way. They didn't even think I was an actress." She was beaming, glowing and I swear, if Rosalie Hale could look any better...

"I'm pretty sure they loved you, too." I smiled back at her but nothing could match her happy aura right now. It was so...Alice of her.

"So...where to?" We climbed into my truck.

"The only place here that has, like, a mall is Port Angeles." I shrugged starting the vehicle.

"Then Port Angeles, it is." She giggled. "By the way, nice truck."

I stuck my tongue out at her then laughed. It's so nice to see a different side of Rosalie. And that she's getting her happily ever after. Maybe...Somehow...Someday...I'll get mine, too.


	22. Chapter 22

**How To Become A Girl**

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

So...Thanksgiving's done. We're back in New Hampshire. Can't say I'm sad. Honestly, I'm a little happy. Everything mattered in that little town that I call home. Whether, Esme and Carlisle are really moving into Forks. Oh yeah, they've already begun the construction of the house and they're dying to live there. Whether, Em's going to be living in with Rose soon. Whether, Jazz was alright that Alice wasn't there. Whether, Edward and I are getting married. I mean, getting married? I haven't even told them if we're together. I mean, I haven't even cleared up that shit. I can't even understand it yet and we're getting married already?

_Yes. And here in New Hampshire, people don't ask me questions if we're getting married already._

A week has passed since we came back. It's a Friday. And I made a deal with Esme that dinner tonight would be on me since I just had my first paycheck. I took half a shift in work and I sped to the grocery. I bought steak slabs and fresh veggies. Carlisle loves veggies. Esme loves meat. Funny how contradicting they were but then they were able to influence each other.

Jasper and Alice were out on a double date with Emmett and Rose. I've never seen Jasper's face glow suddenly until that day we returned and Alice was there waiting for him in the airport. He was so happy. He was so owned. I smiled as I replayed the scene in my head. I'm glad both my bestfriends are happy.

"What are you smiling at?" A velvet voice asked behind me. I could tell that he was just inches away.

I almost slipped the knife I was holding and was about to cut my finger off. "Shit!"

He chuckled. He moved to my right side and checked out if I had cut my hand already.

"Don't you ever surprise me like that!" I smacked him on the biceps.

"Sorry." He smiled then kissed my temple. "So...what's cooking?"

"I've asked Dorota to cook the steak. I'm preparing the salad." I continued chopping the carrot.

"I'll do that." He bumped my hip, pushing me out of the way. "You might hurt yourself." He followed with a chuckled.

I scowled at him then proceeded with doing the vinaigrette. We finished quickly in time with Dorota placing a steak slab on each plate. Finally, at around 7, Carlisle and Esme arrived. We had a lovely dinner. All 3 of them commenting on my cooking. If you just knew how many times I blushed! Edward kept on snickering and laughing at me. Carlisle tried to tell him to stop but they both ended up laughing. Esme ended up rubbing my back for comfort. Although, we were all laughing by then, it was amazing how the conversation flowed.

Just a little after dinner, Esme and Carlisle said their goodbyes. "Bella, pardon us, but we have to go. Carlisle has this thing in the hospital tomorrow." Esme said sweetly.

"Oh no. That's no problem." I smiled.

"Edward? Are you heading home as well?" Carlisle turned to his son.

"Um. No. I'm going to keep Bella company until Jazz and the rest comes back." He answered his dad.

Esme grinned while Carlisle gave him a suspicious look. I realized that my eyebrows have scrunched. Edward brushed the teasing looks off and said goodbye, technically, pushing them out the door.

"Well, that was weird." He murmured.

I went back into the kitchen and I opened the fridge. I wanted more dessert. Something sweet. I found a container filled with strawberries. I took it out and I pulled out the bottle of Hershey's Chocolate Syrup. I set them on the counter and I sat beside them.

"Want some?" I offered, holding up a strawberry.

"Sure." He smiled, standing next to me.

I squeezed some chocolate on the tip of the strawberry. The liquid flowed, coating it partially, down to my fingers. I had to lick them before it made my hands dirty. I saw Edward stare and I gave him a confusing look before laughing. I held up the strawberry for him to eat. Just when he's about take a bite, I pulled away and ate half of it, slowly. I mmmed and savored the taste, teasing him. His face was shocked and his mouth was open.

I laughed, "Get your own strawberry!"

"Ah. So, you wanna play?" He said smoothly as if he was unaffected. He moved to stand in front of me, leaning on the counter. I'd say we were too near to each other, but I didn't care. He was taunting and I just had to fight back.

I laughed and he took a strawberry, coating it with chocolate as well. He ate it all in one bite. But he did it so slowly, it looked so...so...sexy? I raised an eyebrow at him. He took another strawberry, dripped some chocolate on the top and fed it to me. The chocolate coated my lips and as soon as the strawberry was in my mouth, I grabbed his hand and kissed it. He faked annoyance and pulled it away from my hands, licking the chocolate off.

I giggled. He put his hands on my hips, steadying me on the counter. "Now, it's your turn." His voice was just really...husky and deep and filled with lust. It made me gulp and nervous. I took a strawberry with my shaky hands and coated it with chocolate, making a swirl. I held it up to him. He bit half of it, took the other half and softly pushed it into my mouth. He smiled my favorite smile then he bent his head down and kissed my hand up my arm to my shoulder, leaving a trail of fading chocolate kisses.

_Why had I worn a tank top, today, again?_

I looked at my arm and gasped as he pulled away, grinning. I licked my lips and pouted, raising my head. His smile faltered and then he leaned closer. Our lips almost touching. Slowly, he pressed his on mine. I kissed back. My hands glided over his arms up to his hair. I clutched my fingers, loving the feel of his hair. His thumbs started making circles on the skin just underneath the hem of my tank top and my legs started to lock around his waist. His tongue traced my lower lip. They parted, willing for his tongue to enter. We were already pressed up on each other as our tongues fought battle after battle. He pulled away but never stopped kissing. He moved down to my neck and back up, stopping on that soft spot behind my ear. He sucked the skin there making me moan.

"Bella! We're home!" We froze at the sight of Rosalie entering the kitchen and seeing us. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry!" She turned her body around. Her back, facing us.

"Damn." I hissed lowly. I pulled Edward into a hug, hiding my all too red face in his chest. He chuckled and he wrapped his hands around me.

"Rose. Didn't know you'd be home by now." Edward said.

"Didn't expect you two, to be here, _together_." She said teasingly. I turned my head around to peek at her. She eyed the strawberry and the chocolate on the counter next to us. "Oh...That's why." She walked to fridge and dumped a bag of food in it. She turned around and she was grinning from ear to ear.

I pushed Edward a little so I could jump off the counter. "Rosalie Hale, I swear to god, if you say anything..." I walked closer to her, Edward's arms still wrapped around my waist. He, too, was grinning.

"Say anything about what?" Alice appeared.

"Ummm..." I went red again as I turned to face her. She looked at my arm, the one that's filled with Edward's chocolate kisses, and gasped. She also noticed Edward's arms wrapped around my waist.

She laughed and soon Rose joined in. "Really, Bella? You really think, you could hide forever?" She asked.

"Well...we weren't really hiding...just..." I gulped. I'm at loss for words.

Edward laughed, "Yeah. My kissing expertise leaves you intoxicated. I think it's time for bed."

I turned to him, shocked. _His kissing expertise? Hahaha. He's right. Sort of._

He scooped me up and said goodnight to the other two girls before running off into my bedroom. He dropped me on the bed and plopping next to me. "Now, where were we?" He asked, giving me a quick peck on the lips.

I just had to smile. "I think, I need a shower."

"No. We can shower later." He pushed me back down. _We? As in...me and him? Since when-?_

"Edward..." I looked at him. His eyes were dark and hungry. I was pretty sure, I'm hungry, too. I wanted more of that but...I think there are things to straighten out first. "I really want to talk first before we go into..." I motioned my hand to point at the two of us, "whatever we have."

His face fell and I whispered, "Hey. It's going to be alright. No matter what we decide tonight, it's going to be alright."

He sighed and I hugged him. "Okay. I really need a bath. Your chocolate kisses are really getting sticky." I laughed when I pulled away. He kissed me one last time on the forehead before I got off the bed to take a bath.

I finished my bath quickly, eager to settle everything with Edward. A part of me is pretty convinced that he likes me back while a part is saying that he only acted like that because...he just really needed to get some. But the latter isn't the Edward that I know and I chose to disregard that nagging voice.

When I got back from the closet, I noticed Edward on one corner of my bed, looking down at his hands with a concentrated look on his face. Like he was sad and angry and confused all at the same time. I sat next to him and I tilted his head so he could face me.

"What's wrong?" I asked quietly, suddenly afraid of what his answer might be. Maybe he realized...

"I just..." He let out an exasperated sigh, "I don't know. I'm not good for you, Bella."

"What do you mean, you're not good for me?"

"Bella, I used to be a bad guy. Drugs and all. I'm not...right for someone like you. Someone who's so...good and...and pure. Someone so precious...and treasured by the people around you. Look at me, I'm friendless! That means, I'm not good." He looked like he was about to cry.

"What are you saying? You _used_ to be a bad guy! But not anymore! I don't care who you _were_, I care about who you _are_! Edward, you're a good person. Please. Just trust me on that one. And you are not friendless. You have Jazz and Em...and Alice and Rose...and me. You have me, Edward." I held his face between my two hands.

"I don't deserve you." He closed his eyes.

"Yes. Yes, you do. If it won't be you, then who? Mike? The guy who stalked me? Or maybe...maybe, Riley? That guy who raped me? Oh no. Better yet, James. James should be the right guy for me." I was almost angry.

His face went rigid in my hands, "No." He whispered. "I can't even...No."

"Tell me why it shouldn't be you? Huh? You never stalked me, you never raped me and I'm pretty sure, you won't let me get into drugs." I chuckled, "Now, would you?"

"No. I can't even imagine hurting you." He finally opened his eyes, again. They were soft...and something else...that I have yet to discover. He took one of my hands and kissed it. "I can't see you hurt. I don't want to see you hurt. Ever." He took my other hand and kissed it, too. "I...I love you, too much, Bella." He whispered and I thought I'd never catch it.

I felt the sides of my mouth move to smile and he mirrored me. "I love you, too, Edward." I whispered back, feeling like we were little kids sharing secrets. Very important secrets.

He kissed me again. But this time was more passionate, loving and just...romantic. Once we pulled away for our breaths, I noticed the stereo downstairs playing. I almost fell back in laughter when I realized what was playing.

"What's funny?" Edward asked.

"I'm sorry! This just feels like a movie." I apologized and he smirked and laughed. "Shut up and listen." He, too, tried holding back the laugh. "We gotta check this out."

We walked down the stairs, hand in hand. What surprised me was the set up of the living room. In the middle of the carpet, just right in front the warm fireplace was 6 wine glasses and a bottle of wine. The lights were off and the glow came purely from the fire in the fireplace. I raised an eyebrow as Alice and Jazz passed by us, followed by Rose and Emmett. May I just say that the two ladies had big grins on their faces. I gave Jazz and Em a look.

"What's this all about?" I asked out loud.

"We're having a couples' night, Bella." Rose answered. I watched them as they settled on the carpet. Jazz tucked Alice under his arms and Em had Rose lie down next to him with her head on his lap.

"You and Edward are free to join." Alice giggled. The damn pixie knew!

I turned to Edward who had an amused expression. I smiled and asked, "Do you want to join?"

"Definitely." He gave me a quick peck on the lips before wrapping his arm around my waist to lead me to the group. As soon as he took his place, he grabbed me and pulled me down to sit on his lap.

Jazz and Em both shook their heads at our sudden PDA. I wondered why...My eyes almost bulged out of their sockets and I blushed red as I realized that nobody knew yet. Well, except for Alice, of course. And maybe Rose, too.

Alice poured wine into each glass and passed one to each. Edward took mine and placed it aside, passing me his glass. _Ah...so we share, now._

I realized my hands were shaking. I didn't know what I was nervous about, honestly. Edward placed his hands on my thighs and started sliding it up and down from my knees to my hips, relaxing me. They started talking about stuff and I just couldn't pay attention. Finally, getting frustrated, Edward stood up and pulled me to his side. He excused us and brought me up into my room after everybody else gave us weird looks.

He lied me down on the bed. "Are you okay?" He kissed me softly. Once. Twice. Thrice. His eyebrows scrunched up realizing that I wasn't really responding.

I let out a deep breath and a nod.

"Okay. I'll just go change in the bathroom. Where are my clothes? I'm sleeping here tonight." He whispered.

"Um. Second drawer in the closet." I replied. He kissed me one last time on the forehead before disappearing into the bathroom. I stared up at the ceiling, figuring out what the hell was wrong with me. My phone started ringing on my bedside table.

Unknown Caller. Huh. Probably my aunt. Or my dad calling from Sue's.

"Hello?" I answered the phone.

"Hi Bella." That voice. I knew that voice. "How are you?"

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Ouch. Don't do this to me, Bella. Don't you remember my voice at all?" He was starting to get freaky, whoever he was.

I replayed his last sentence again and again in my head until I got it. "Riley." My voice was barely a whisper. And if I was scared a while ago, then I was catatonic now.

* * *

**Hey guys. Sorry for the super duper late post. No. I haven't stopped this story. How To Become A Girl is important to me...I just really didn't have enough time lately. August has been...harsh to me. But I hope September will give me a lot more opportunity and time to write. I missed writing. I missed posting. I hope you haven't ran off, too. I will post as soon as I can. I cannot promise anything but soon. :)**

**I really hope you'd understand. I'm sorry. :)**

**Heart,**

**Leonara821**


	23. Author's Important Note

Hey guys. I have some bad news for everyone. But before I start. I just want to say that I'm really sorry. I'm really really really sorry. And this is why...

The drive that I used to store all my FF files crashed...and with it was the rest of the chapters of HTBG. I felt bad for losing everything. I had no back-up. Because that was sort of my back-up. I had about 6 more chapters there. And there is now way that I would be able to rewrite everything again.

I'm really sorry.

Because ever since then, I've lost the energy to write about HTBG. I loved HTBG with all my heart, believe me. And losing the files was almost like losing a pet. No, seriously...it was like that for me.

I'm really sorry.

Because, I'm not sure if I will still be able to continue this. I appreciate all your support and I'm sorry, again. To me, It felt like...I was betraying you guys of something. But...I just can't feel it anymore. For days...weeks...I've been trying to get the energy back. But it just isn't there anymore.

But I promise to you...that if ever get back on the track of HTBG, again, I will come back.

On a positive note...my head came up with another plot. And I hope you'll like it, too. Please check it out...the story is called, _It's Us Even For Eternity_. Please, please, please check it out. I would love to hear your insights about it. Although, I've only written the prologue...I'm planning to write so much, first, before I start posting so that I wouldn't run out of chapters to post, 'kay?

I'm really sorry...

...and I love you, guys!

Leonara821


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